A Knife In Her Fist

This Is A Story Based On The Challenges I Faced During My Childhood Life. How I Faced Depression, And How Difficult It Is To Live In A Life Of Darkness.


2. Life Gets Better...

  My life as a teen barely started, and my depression too.  I am suffering through medical depression, it´s a living nightmare that you can´t get out of.  You see that person like a normal teen or adult, but deep inside they feel worthless, cry, cut, and suffer. Let me tell you a little about cutting. It isn´t pretty, it hurts, but some people think, it´s just way better than the pain we already have. When I first became a cutter it was when I was eleven.  I would cry every night just thinking, when is this nightmare going to end. It never left. Why did we have to be judged for things we do, and they judge us without even knowing the reason why we do these things? It just shows that the world we live in isn´t what it used to be.

  I was eleven when I first became a cutter. It was the worst feeling in the world. I got picked on at school by kids. I was lonely. Life was falling out of my hands, and the scars where there too. People saw them, and called me Emo. They didn’t know that my life was awful. I was dying every day, and death crossed my mind once.  My parents were there, but life with them got useless.

  I started getting depression at home too. My parents would make me feel small, and my brother would bully me in a cruel way.  I would cry in the shower, and the only person that would be there for me was my grandmother. She supported me, and confronted my mother. She told her that what she was doing was just awful, and that her daughter crying was not necessary. Things got different, my mom respected me more, and I talked to her about everything I felt.

  They still judge me, but I learned that nobody is perfect. You shouldn´t judge others, even if they look like they can handle it. Nobody is perfect, but everybody has their own unique personality. There can´t be popularity in this world, to me this word doesn’t even exist. I hope you guys understand life isn’t judged on appearance or for what you where. Judge people in what they say or their attitude, but think before you start pointing fingers, are you perfect? I don’t think so, right? For those who feel the same as me, because I can, you should try. Fight; don’t let people bring you down.  Life gets better, but only if you try to make it better. 

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