Feel Again (Louis Tomlinson)

{Book 3 - COMPLETE} All Marley Pennington wanted to do since her freshman year of high school was to turn her life around. To be someone she always wanted to be, and when she gets her dream job, everything seems to be headed in the right direction.
But Louis Tomlinson is another story. He's alone, afraid, and just wanting everything to go back to normal, before everything was ruined. Marley, a well-liked and cheery person tries to change Louis' look on life and love.

"Yeah with you
I can feel again
I'm feeling better ever since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me"


35. Marley

Chapter 35 ~ Marley

"I'm on my plane, too. Yours left about twenty minutes before mine so you will land before I do," I speak into the phone as I look out my window seat. Strangely enough I have no one sitting next to me during this flight. I am glad, though. I wish I was waiting for Louis when he lands in New York City but this is just how our flights worked out.

"Is everything okay with Violet?" he asks me.

I sigh heavily. "I think so. She is having her baby in less than two months and I'm terrified and I have no clue what to do. I know nothing about babies, Louis. What if she needs me and I can't help her because I'm not good with pregnant women?" I am freaking out a little and I begin to wonder if leaving Nashville was such a good idea. But then I remember who I am on the phone with and I know that seeing him will be worth it.

Louis stops me and I take a deep breath and he says something to me that I remember saying to him, "It's okay to be scared, right?"

"L-Louis, I have to go. I'll see you when you land." I hang up before he can say anything else.

It's okay to be scared, right? When I didn't know Louis very well I told him that when he was scared about Eleanor, scared that I was going to leave him just like she did. It frustrated me so much because I thought I had shown him I wasn't going anywhere, yet he still didn't believe me. Louis was so scared and lost...why hadn't he just asked for help? His broken heart stood in the way of his pride and for that I wanted to slap him. I said those words to him hoping he would take them in a way so that he could trust me. I thought he was going to know that I would be there for him whenever he needed me, but he didn't. He pushed me away instead.

But he isn't pushing me away anymore. He's being more open than I ever thought I would see him. He is the one kissing me first. He is the one telling me he misses me. He is the one calling me for no reason. He is the one that has changed, is laughing again, is showing me his true smile. There is definitely a change in his personality since I met him. I wonder if this is what he was like before Eleanor? I don't know, and I never will. I will never know the pre-Eleanor Louis Tomlinson. What I do know is that I love him. And now, because he repeated my own words to me, I know, for sure, that Louis Tomlinson loves me. He didn't need to say it, I just know. When I needed him, like I do right now, he told me it's okay to be scared. When I said those words to him, I was offering him a shoulder to lean on as a way of saying that I am here for you and I care about you. Louis isn't stupid; he knew that at the time, it was just his choice to ignore me and continue being an ass. But now that he has said those exact same words back, I know he loves me.

The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. The air has vanished from my lungs and I am left breathless at the thought of Louis loving me as much as I love him. My eyes close and my knuckles turn white from their tight grasp on the arm rests. We have only been flying for twenty-five minutes. I look out the window and silently beg the pilot to have us land in New York right now. I am so impatient and I cannot wait to be in Louis' arms again.

Of course, there is always the slight possibility that Louis doesn't love me. But I saw the way he looked at me before I left for home, how he held me. I know he cares for me but that is the main difference between us: he is doubtful. Not only of himself, but of others. He cares so much about impressing people and wanting them to like him that he is willing to mask his true emotions and feelings to get what he wants. That is why he faked a smile every day. He didn't want people worrying about him when there was a clear reason to. If only he could see that there are so many people supporting him. Not just his family and friends, but his fans. Of course he doesn't personally know every one of his fans but they care about him. I know that, I have seen it. He knows it too but if he had just come clean with how he was really feeling, then he wouldn't have acted the way he did.

Selfishly, I am grateful, though. If he wasn't so cold and cruel when I had met him, then I wouldn't have had the opportunity to open his eyes to reality. I wouldn't have had the chance to fall in love or get to know him the way I did. I wouldn't have it any other way, although he may have been a pain in the ass. I love him, and I am glad he knows that. Even if I hadn't told him I would like to think that he is smart enough to have figured it out by how much I have shown that I care about him.

This is going to be a very, very long flight.


"Where are you?" Parker asks me.

I switch my phone to my other ear and answer, "I'm sorry. We landed just now but there's traffic and we aren't allowed to get off the plane for another half hour. Tell Louis I'm sorry." Of course we would be running late. I am twenty minutes behind them as it is and now I will be almost an hour late to see them...to see him.

"I will. Just call one of us when you're in a cab and we'll give you directions."

I agree and then hang up, my nails impatiently tapping on the fold out tray in front of me. The rest of the flight was torture and every minute I felt closer to Louis, making time drag on even more so.

A flight attendant passes by. "Excuse me?" I politely ask.


"How much longer until we get off? I am sort of in a rush," I say in the nicest way possible.

"I think we just found somewhere. It shouldn't be too much longer, miss."

"Thank you," I smile at her and sink back into my seat.

I feel the plane move again and I am grateful when the pilot says it is okay for us to leave and thanks us for flying with American Airlines. My carry-on bag is slung over my shoulder and I collect my suitcase from the over-head compartments and not so patiently wait until it is my turn to leave the plane. I speed-walk out of the terminal and rush down to the ground level, and I pull out my phone and call Harry.

"Hi, where are you guys?"

"We are at seventy-two West Street. It's a restaurant and we have an extra place for you." Harry answers.

"Thanks, I'll see you soon."

I pull over a taxi and tell the man the address. The drive takes about fifteen minutes with traffic and I stare in awe at the bustling city around me. I have to take a moment to tell myself that I am in New York City. It's a beautiful place, but I can't see myself living here. When we pull up into the restaurant I can tell the driver wasn't expecting it to be such a nice restaurant. My palms become sweaty. Louis is in there, waiting for me. How will he react when he sees me?

I thank him and step out with all my bags. What am I supposed to do in a nice eatery with my bags? I can't leave them out on the street, obviously, so I take them with me inside. The man at the counter raises his eyebrow at me but I plaster a smile on my face.

"Hi, I am here to meet with-"

"Marley!" Someone interrupts, and when I look to my left, I see Amabel standing there.

I grin and run over to her, pulling her into a hug. Behind us, and in front of a fireplace, is a circular table with Harry, Niall, Zayn, Liam, Parker...and Louis. Our eyes meet and I feel instantly lighter, happier. Wordlessly, he stands and everyone watches as he walks over until he is inches from me. A smile grows on his lips and mine do the same. I throw my arms around his neck and breathe in his scent. His arms squeeze my waist and it feels like I have been away longer than just a few days. I missed him more than I thought possible and I don't even realize that until now. When we pull away my hands cup his face and I am holding back tears. I love him so much I think it will suffocate me.

"Ahem," Niall appears behind Louis and I sigh, breaking free of Louis' embrace to greet Niall and everyone else.

When Liam hugs me he whispers in my ear, "He missed you like mad, you know that right?"

I nod and pull away and whisper back, "I missed him too."

Louis' hand slips around my waist and he says to everyone, "We're gonna go. Meet up with you later, yeah?"

Zayn tosses Louis a pair of car keys that I assume to go a rental car. Parker flashes me a wink and I flush. Louis grabs my bags and we leave. There is this strange sensation taking over me and I am so aware of Louis' arm brushing mine as we walk to the parking lot. Quickly, Louis puts my things in the trunk and I realize we haven't said a word to each other since I got here. Just as I am about to open my door, Louis pushes me against the car and doesn't stop until his chest his flush against mine. The warm summer air blows my loose hair and I just about melt when Louis tucks a strand behind my ear. My arms wrap around his neck and I bring him impossibly closer, our noses brushing. His hands rest on my waist and I am dying to kiss him. I have missed the way he holds me, looks at me, and kisses me.

"I missed you," he finally speaks, his warm breath fanning out on my face.

"I missed you too," I almost whine, begging him to kiss me. My wish is granted when his lips are gently pressed against mine. It isn't rushed, even though there is a voice in my head saying to rip off his clothes and take him in this car, but I can't, I have to know if he loves me, even if I am almost certain he does. The best way he can show me he loves me is by telling me. If he does, then that is proof that he has changed. The touch of his lips is soft and slow yet passionate and it makes me go weak in the knees.

After only a few seconds it's over and my eyes flutter open. His blue ones are swirling with emotions. His hand goes behind me and for a second I think he may grab my butt or something but I giggle when he opens the door and help me get inside. When he is sitting in the driver's seat he flashes me a smile. Neither of us says anything as he drives somewhere I don't know. But it doesn't matter, because as long as he is with me, I don't care where we go.


Yayyyy! Marley and Louis meet again! :D I just love them together, ugh. There is only one more official chapter and then an epilouge. 

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