Feel Again (Louis Tomlinson)

{Book 3 - COMPLETE} All Marley Pennington wanted to do since her freshman year of high school was to turn her life around. To be someone she always wanted to be, and when she gets her dream job, everything seems to be headed in the right direction.
But Louis Tomlinson is another story. He's alone, afraid, and just wanting everything to go back to normal, before everything was ruined. Marley, a well-liked and cheery person tries to change Louis' look on life and love.

"Yeah with you
I can feel again
I'm feeling better ever since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me"


33. Marley

Chapter 33 - Marley

As soon as I close the cab door I am missing Louis. He drives me literally insane but I love him so much I feel like I'm going to suffocate. It's stupid of me to think that even for a minute Louis could possibly love me back. I think to when we first met, how cold he was. Someone can't change from that to this...unless they're in love. I shake my head. Nope, he can't love me. He made it very clear he didn't want a relationship. Hell, it took him a while just to convince him we could be friends.

I don't even notice when the cab driver pulls up to the airport. He has to get my attention three times before I hear him. I quickly pay and then get my bags from the trunk, politely declining the man's help. I am only carrying a suitcase and a carry on.

I am not permanently returning home. I just have some family things to take care of first before I continue with my career. I easily navigate my way through the airport security, and an hour and a half minutes since I arrived at the airport, I am sitting in my seat ready for takeoff.

"You can't leave...You can't leave me." Louis' words are etched in my mind and I have to refrain from picking up my phone and calling him just to hear his voice. My hand reaches for it and it rests in the palm of my head for a good five minutes. I tell myself over and over that leaving was the best thing. With Louis and I's complicated relationship and my sister being pregnant, this is the perfect excuse.

Just as I am about to click Louis' name, the flight attendant's voice is heard from the loudspeaker, telling us to turn off all electronic devices. I sigh and curse her at the same time. I don't want to call Louis. It seems pathetic and I have only been gone for a few hours. The least I could do to Louis is having him miss me.

He will miss me...won't he? It seemed like he did and I never would have thought he would be as upset as he showed. I hope he will...I hope he is right now 'cause God knows I'm missing him. I miss the way he rolls his eyes at me when I tell him to pick up his clothes or wash his hands before we eat. Whether Louis is doing to admit it or not-I'm going with not-I know he has feelings for me. They're crystal clear to everyone except the person who possesses them. I have never been with someone like Louis Tomlinson before in my life. Everyone else I was with was mean and cruel. Louis is those things too, sometimes, but he's so much more than that. He's funny and smart and talented and even if he's not going to admit it, he's sensitive. The wonderful moments we have make up for the tough ones, they make it worth it. His break up was probably the worst thing that happened to him and he took it hard.

I wish he was in the seat next to me so I could introduce him to my parents. They have wanted me to have a boyfriend for years now. I tell them I don't have time but they don't listen. The thought of my parents and my own home makes time go by even slower. The flight is only three hours but it's going to be the longest of my life.


The drive home is a blur. I stare out the window the whole time and once again pay the taxi cab driver. I stare at my home before smiling and running up the steps. It's much warmer here than it was in Philadelphia. The smell of the humid summer air feels like home. As I am walking up the steps I see that Cassie's car is in the driveway...and someone else's. Someone who I haven't seen in about two years.

I sprint up the steps and rush inside. "Mom? Dad? Cassie?" I shout, and they all come running into the room. Immediately I am wrapped in my mother's arms. It feels so amazing to be home.

"Thank goodness you're home!" My mother cries.

I step away from her and run to my dad. "We missed you, darlin'."

"I missed you too, dad," I murmur, loving his scent. It reminds me of my childhood.

"Did you forget about me?" Cassie smiles, and I hug her as well. She might as well be my second sister. We're so close and she is treated like family around here. It's almost like my parents accepted her to...replace Violet after she left. I know no one can really replace their own daughter but Cassie has acted like one.

"How've you been? It feels like I haven't seen you in forever," I say, pulling away and giving her a smile.

"Just great! Things aren't the same without you, but you're with the pretty people now, so it's better than here." Cassie smiles too and I look over her shoulder. My eyes widen and my jaw drops.

"Brandon?!" I practically scream. My feet carry me to him and before I know it, my arms are bound around his neck and he is holding me close.

Brandon is my best friend...besides Cassie, that is. I haven't seen him in two years since he left for college. We met in eight grade and just stuck together throughout high school. He isn't gay, if that's what you're thinking. He was actually quite popular. He was on the lacrosse and swimming teams. He was never on the Homecoming or Prom courts, but everyone seemed to like him. In high school people encouraged us to go out since we "looked good together" but we only saw each other as friends. He and Cassie were there when Violet left. We haven't made contact in a long time since he's busy with his swimming scholarship at the University of North Carolina.

"Hey Cass. I missed you," he smiles, pulling away. His eyes are just as blue as I remember and his hair just as blonde. If people didn't know, they would think we're twins. We're only two weeks apart (I'm older) and we have the same hair color and eyes. He's quite a bit taller than me, though.

"I missed you too. What are you doing here?" I gape, looking back at Cassie. She just shrugs.

"Your mom called me and said you were coming home from your job with the biggest boy band ever. What is it, Three Dimension?" Brandon grins.

"One Direction, you noob," I giggle, playfully pushing him.

Someone behind me clears their throat and when I turn, my eyes sting with tears and I am flooded with every emotion possible. There, ten feet away from me, stands my baby sister, her belly swollen and bags under her eyes. Her hair is purple and in a messy bun. Obviously, she has gained weight and looks exhausted. Despite everything she has done to this family, I run to her and wrap my arms around her, tears falling from my eyes.

My baby sister is finally home.


"Here," I say softly, handing my sister a cup full of tea. I offered her coffee but she told me she was lying off the caffeine. That's strange, as a teenager she had a cup of coffee every morning before school. She has changed a lot in the past two years. Her tattoos are still present-just as I expected-and my eyes roam her inked skin since she is dressed in a grey tank top. It seems to me that her tattoos have no meaning, but I don't want to discuss them with her right now.

"Thanks," she smiles slightly and blows off the steam before taking a sip. It's just the two of us in the family room. Everyone else went upstairs to give us time to talk. Violet's hair color matches her name and I wonder if she did that on purpose. "I change the color a lot," she says, somehow reading my thoughts.

"I like it," I tell her honestly.

"Really? I've always been jealous of your hair," she tells me.

I still can't believe I am sitting here with my younger sister after all these times. I was beginning to accept the fact that she was never coming back. It's such a surprise that she showed up out of nowhere. I thank her quietly and then move on my asking, "How far along are you?"

"About seven months now," she answers, looking down and rubbing her belly.

"Why didn't you come to us sooner?"

"I thought I could do this on my own. But then I realized just how much having a baby was going to cost and I couldn't think of anything else to do," she says, close to tears. I am too, just by everything that's going on, here and with Louis.

"We're here for you, you know that right?" I place a hand on top of hers.

"You are? I thought that after I left you wouldn't want anything to do with me." Violet avoids my gaze.

"How could you possibly think that? You're my little sister, you're mom and dad's daughter; of course we want you here. Everything's going to be okay, I promise you. I won't let anything happen to you." I know this is what she needs to hear and I plan on keeping this promise. We will discuss what happened before she got pregnant later. As of right now, my sister is pregnant, scared, and just needing her family.

"I love you, Marley. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it's true." Violet tells me, a tear running down her cheek.

"I love you too," I sob, throwing my arms around her. When I pull away I wipe under my eyes and ask, "So can you tell me who the father is?"

"His name is David...he's your age," she almost whispers, not looking at me.

I can tell how much she doesn't want to talk about this right now, so I don't ask her any more questions. "Hey," I say, making her look at me, "we don't have to talk about this now, later okay?"

She nods and I give her one more hug. It's late, almost midnight. I'm exhausted from the flight and all this drama at home. We say goodnight and I stumble upstairs to my bedroom. Brandon is waiting at the door for me. "Hey," he smiles. I return it.

"Hi," I whisper, noticing my parent's bedroom door is closed. "Did Cassie leave?"

"Yeah, about five minutes ago. Can we talk for a minute?" He asks, following me into my room and closing the door.

"Sure," I say, but yawn right afterwards.

"It won't take long, I promise," Brandon chuckles, seeing how tired I am.

"What's on your mind?" I ask. I plop down on my bed.

"Nothing, I just wanted to catch up with you. We haven't seen each other since high school and I miss you," he says, sitting next to me.

"I missed you too, Brandon. Tell me what's new in your life."

"Well, my parents divorced and my dad got remarried."

"I'm so sorry," I frown. I remember his parents being really nice and they were together for as long as I've known him.

"Eh, it's alright. My mom moved about an hour away from here and she's on her own as far as I know. I haven't seen her in a while."

I rest my head on his shoulder. "Did they tell you why they divorced?"

"I didn't ask, really. It's a good thing I'm grown up now or else I would have handled this a whole lot worse."

I laugh a little. "Meet anyone special?" I wiggle my eyebrows and nudge him playfully. In high school Brandon always had a lot of girlfriends-he was popular, smart, cute and a swimmer, so of course he had girls chasing him-but they never lasted longer than a month. It's not like he's a player or anything, he is just waiting for the right girl. People always told us we should date but neither of us was interested in the other romantically.

"I'll let you know when I do," he sighs. "How about you?"

Brandon knows about my freshman year and everything I went through, so this is a touchy subject. My heart aches at the reminder of Louis. I miss him so much and the longer I stay away the more I regret coming back. Of course I don't regret coming home altogether-my family needs me-but Louis is always there for me, and when he's five states away...he can't be. He seems so far away. "Um...actually yes, but it's complicated."

"Complicated how?"

"He's...difficult to be in a relationship with. One minute he's saying how much he needs me and then the next he's giving me the cold shoulder." I massage my temples. Even talking about Louis is exhausting.

"Why don't you just leave him then?" Brandon asks, looking down at me.

"There are two reasons why I can't do that," I chuckle. "One, my job basically revolves around him. Even if I wanted to avoid him I couldn't."

"What's the other reason?"

Was it a mistake leaving Louis? As I answer Brandon's question, I think I know the answer, "I'm in love with him."


Brandon is played by Chad Michael Murray. He's so cute.

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