Feel Again (Louis Tomlinson)

{Book 3 - COMPLETE} All Marley Pennington wanted to do since her freshman year of high school was to turn her life around. To be someone she always wanted to be, and when she gets her dream job, everything seems to be headed in the right direction.
But Louis Tomlinson is another story. He's alone, afraid, and just wanting everything to go back to normal, before everything was ruined. Marley, a well-liked and cheery person tries to change Louis' look on life and love.

"Yeah with you
I can feel again
I'm feeling better ever since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me"


27. Marley

Chapter 27 ~ Marley

"There you are!" Parker says dramatically as I join them in a corridor in the Far East wing of the venue.

The boys are on stage right now. I don't know why I kissed Louis' cheek only minutes ago. I just had to. He's been...different lately and I want him to know I'm waiting for him to get his damn head out of his ass.

"Sorry, I was doing...some things." I mutter and take a seat against the wall between my two friends, straightening my legs out in front of me.

"Something with Louis?"Amabel giggles.

"No," I say, but I smile.

"What's going on with you two anyways? Before I came here I saw you kiss him. He seemed pretty happy afterwards if you ask me." Amabel points out, eating some fruit snacks. I hold my hand out and she gives me some. I pop them in my mouth while I reply.

"I didn't kiss him," I roll my eyes. "I only pecked him on the cheek, it's not a big deal." I look down at my hands.

"It seemed like a big deal!" The brown haired girl turns to face me. "Did you see his face afterwards?"

"No...I'm sure it wasn't anything."

"You're blind." Amabel sighs. "Plus, you never told us what happened between you and him when we were in Indianapolis."

I gulp. Shit. I thought they would have forgotten by now. That was the night Louis and I had sex. "Um...well, we...we just..."

"Spit it out!" Parker whines.

"We slept together, alright? Louis and I had sex. Are you guys happy?" I throw my hands up, and then bury my face in them.

"WHAT?!" The two girls next to me scream. I just nod, although I don't regret it, not one bit.

"Shh!" I scold. "It's not that huge of a deal, alright?"

"This is too huge! You have totally changed him, Marley. This is unbelievable." Parker says with wide eyes.

"So are you two like together now?" Amabel moves so she sits in front of me, her blonde hair is put in a bun at the top of her head.

"I have no clue." I tell them.

"How do you not know? You slept together, you've kissed more than once, I know. Not to mention you're the only person that has gotten him off his lazy ass. Since you came along he's been...happier." Parker says.

I look down. The way they're saying makes me seem like some saint or miracle worker. But I'm not. I'm just some girl from Nashville that fell in love with a pop star from England. "I see it; I know that he's changed. The worst part is that he won't even tell me how he feels, but I know there is something there because so many of the times that we've kissed it were his move."

Parker and Amabel groan at the same time. "That's Louis for you," Amabel sighs. "When Eleanor first broke up with him he was miserable and then for his birthday when we went roller skating"-she ignores my raised eyebrow at that-"he seemed so happy. Looking back at that day now, it was clear he was trying so hard not to break down."

I put my head in my hands again. Why can't Louis just tell me? Why is it so hard to say it? Even if he tells me that he never wants to see me again and that would be alright. Anything, as long as I am not left hanging when he suddenly decides I am not good enough and ignores me. I love him so much it is hurting and I can't wait forever. No one can.

"But you like him, correct?" Parker asks.

"Of course I do," I give her a weak smile. "I like him a lot, actually."

They both smile and a packet of fruit snacks is thrown onto my lap. "Don't worry. Louis will realize what he is missing, although it seems he's already gotten it." Parker laughs and my draw drops at her perverted comment.

"I hope you're right," I sigh. "It's so confusing between us. One moment he's kissing me and telling me to stay with him and the next he is ice cold and saying that he doesn't have feelings for me. It's giving me a whip lash."

"There isn't anything we can do is there?" Amabel asks and I tell her no. Louis is going to do this on his own. He already knows my feelings-most of them, anyways-and it's his choice with what to do with them.

"But tell me about you and Liam," I turn to Parker. Hopefully she can make the conversation...lighter.

"He's so great...I just...he's great," she gushes and I smile. I am so happy for her. "He bought me concert tickets."

"What?" I gasp. "Is it your birthday or something?"

"No," the brown haired girl explains, "A little bit ago I told him that I love The Script, and he said that he would take me one day. I guess that one day is next Wednesday at 7pm." Her smile gives away how happy she is and how much she loves him. What boyfriend gets his girlfriend concert tickets for no reason? A boyfriend that's filthy rich, that's who.

"You're so lucky." I whine.

"Do you like them? The Script?"

"Not really. But you're so lucky to have someone that would do that for you." I turn to Amabel. "Does Harry randomly buy you concert tickets, too?"

The way her cheeks redden and her eyes go to the floor makes me know the answer is yes. "We aren't going to say no, are we?" Amabel cries.

"No, I suppose not." I half-smile. They both shrug. Silence falls upon us and all that is heard is the crinkle of fruit snack wrappers. "Where did you get these anyway?" I wonder.

"We found an old vending machine at the end of a hallway," Parker says. "It was full of them."

I cringe. "These could be forever old."

"So? They taste good." Amabel smiles and eats some more; on the other hand, I gently push them away from me.

My thoughts travel to when Louis was jealous that I was spending time with Zayn. It is so ridiculous that I almost want to laugh out loud. "Has Louis ever been...jealous?" I ask before I can change my mind.

Parker replies, "Jealous of whom?"

"Another guy, maybe? I was hanging out with Zayn earlier and Louis took me away and said he didn't want me spending too much alone time with Zayn." I say.

Their eyes widen. "No, not really," Amabel says. "When he and Eleanor were together there wasn't a reason for him to be jealous. She was only with him...so we all thought." She looks behind her shoulder as if Eleanor herself were to appear.

"Is there any reason for him to be jealous of Zayn?" Parker asks.

I shake my head. "No. Zayn and I are just friends. I tried telling Louis that, but he's just being difficult...with everything."

"You have Louis totally whipped," Parker laughs.

"I do not!" I protest, unable to hide my smile. "I know there is something between us. I'm not stupid. But I don't know the extent of his feelings, and it's very frustrating because I don't want to waste my time." I breathe out and lean against the wall. My freshman year is not going to repeat itself.

"Whether Louis knows it or not, he needs you," Amabel says, standing up and brushing off her shorts.

"He needs me?" My chest tightens and my knees go weak just thinking about Louis needing me. He told me that after he kissed me the first time, but a lot has happened since then and I don't even know if he meant the words. I was caught up in the moment and I would have believed him if he said he wanted to marry me.

"Yes. You have changed him. We know it, the boys know it. Everyone does," the blonde girl tells me, "he used to be so unhappy. He was a very negative person. His relationship lasted a long time, and we were beginning to think if he would every love somebody again."

"Love?" I gulp. "Louis does not love me." I know he doesn't. He's changed, but not that much.

"Whatever you say," Parker winks, and she and I stand. "The boys are probably finishing up soon, we should head back."

"Are we even allowed back here?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I don't know."

We walk back and it's almost surreal to be back in "the real world." I was so caught up in being alone with Amabel and Parker that I almost forgot that I have a job and the one I love is just behind that wall.

Speaking of ones that I love, I haven't spoken to my mom and dad in a while. I pull out my phone and sit down in a corner, hugging my knees to my chest. My mom answers on the second ring.

"Hello? Marley?"

"Hi Mom," I smile. It feels so good to hear her voice. "How are you and dad?"

"We're great sweetie. We miss you."

I bite my lip, eyes watering. A wave of homesickness washes over me. "I miss you too. I'll come and visit as soon as I can. Things are pretty busy around here."

"I'm sure. Where are you?"

"Cleveland." I sigh. "I miss home. How're things?"

"Marley, you haven't been gone that long. It's only been about two weeks."

"I know, it's just that I just miss you. I miss Diane and Cassie." The mention of my best friend is making me wish I was back in Nashville even more.

"Why don't you call her right now? I'm sure she would love to hear from you."

"But I want to talk to you." I reply.

"Darlin'. Call Cassie. She's missing you, too. You can call anytime, you know that right?"

I nod, but she cannot see me. "Yeah, I know. I love you, bye."

"I love you too."

I hang up and hide my face in my hands. I miss her home cooking, I miss coming home to see my dad reading the paper and my mom with her nose in a classic novel. But I do as she says and press Cassie's name. It rings and soon I hear her voice.

"Oh my God, Marley! I miss you, girl!" She cries.

I chuckle. "I miss you too. How're things? Is Diane okay?"

"Everything's fine. Nothing much has changed in two and a half weeks since you left. Diane is fine; everyone at the nail place is fine. We all miss you, though." She replies.

"That's good," I sigh. It seems like we're half-way across the planet when in reality I haven't even left the country.

"How are things with the boys? Is Louis still obnoxious?" She asks. I know she is smiling.

"They're good; they're actually doing a show right now. And as for Louis," I groan. "He's being even more obnoxious than usual." It occurs to me in this moment that Cassie doesn't know anything. She doesn't know that Louis and I have kissed, that we slept together, or that I love him with every fiber of my being.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cassie says after a moment.

"It means Louis and I..." I can't even answer her question properly. I don't know how to explain our relationship.

"Oh my gosh, are you two together? That's so insane! Tell me everything." Cassie squeals and I cringe.

"We're not exactly...together." I say slowly.

"What do you mean?"

"We've kissed...we've slept together-"

"YOU'VE WHAT?!" Cassie screams and I sigh.


"How is that not being together? Are you guys friends with benefits or something?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "It's complicated."

"I've got time."

Just then the screams and cheers got louder, and no more than ten seconds later did the boys run off stage, sweating and exhausted. That's my cue to get off the phone. "Cassie, I have to go."

"But we have so much to talk about!" She protests.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll call you soon. I miss you!" I say quickly, and then hang up. My phone is shoved in my pocket and I am on my feet. I catch up with my co-workers, Amabel, Parker and the boys in the dressing room. It's been a long night and I am ready to get to sleep as soon as we're back on the bus.

I'm not sure where we're heading next. We are going to continue to head east I believe. When I enter the dressing room, I get a bottle of water and look at the ceiling, an easy distraction from Louis' almost-naked body. The boys change quickly and before I know it, we're on the bus, the doors are closing, and we're off.

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