Feel Again (Louis Tomlinson)

{Book 3 - COMPLETE} All Marley Pennington wanted to do since her freshman year of high school was to turn her life around. To be someone she always wanted to be, and when she gets her dream job, everything seems to be headed in the right direction.
But Louis Tomlinson is another story. He's alone, afraid, and just wanting everything to go back to normal, before everything was ruined. Marley, a well-liked and cheery person tries to change Louis' look on life and love.

"Yeah with you
I can feel again
I'm feeling better ever since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me"


23. Marley

Chapter 23 - Marley

This morning, after I make sure Louis eats his eggs, I get dressed and prepare myself for tonight's show. I like to look nice, even if I am not the one singing in front of thousands of people. My whole life I have looked nice, I did my hair and makeup every day starting the first day of high school. When things started to get bad I didn't care as much. But then I got my shit together, and I started acting like the woman I wanted to become. I would like to think I am doing a pretty good job now.

My outfit consists of cut off shorts that reach the middle of my thighs. They are a light, light blue and are frayed at the bottom with black studs outlining the pocket. I love them. If I wasn't into beauty, I would like to be a fashion designer. Or a writer. Writing! When was the last time I wrote in my journal? It must have been before I left Nashville, I have been so busy with my job and my feelings for Louis that I haven't gotten a chance. I should really make time today to do that, I miss it.

Earlier I heard Louis and Parker talking. He seemed confused and she seemed angry. His eyes kept flickering over here when I peeked around the corner, but they didn't see me. As much as I wanted to know what they were saying I didn't eavesdrop. I have only done it once in my life and I regret it. It was the time when my parents were talking about what to get me for Christmas and it completely ruined the surprise. I was devastated.

Now, I am itching to know what they said, but I am smart enough to know not to ask them. I'm afraid Louis will get defensive and not speak to me; Parker will tell me for sure but if it was that important that they had to speak about in private then I respect that. Who knows? They could be talking about something else and not me.

The evening hours soon approach and before I know it we are driving to the same venue we were at last night. Even after all these times I still can't wipe the smile off my face as we walk inside and no one is there. I feel special, almost like I'm in the VIP section. Everyone gets to work and the boys get their mics, singing 'Happy Birthday' and 'Diana' in very deep voices. Liam and Harry do it the best, Niall, Louis and Zayn have some trouble. It's really funny, I am doubled over in laughter, trying not to fall off the stage, which I am currently sitting on the edge of. Once they're done Louis starts walking over to where I am. I look around; nope, no one else is near me so it's me that he's looking at. His blue eyes match his smile and I wave.

You would think that after we had sex and went through an awkward patch that it would be uncomfortable now, but it's not. He just sits next to me. Our feet swing back and forth over the edge and we don't say anything. I don't mind though, and he doesn't seem bothered by it either and we both listen to the murmurs of conversation around the stadium. It echoes, I can't imagine what's it like when all the seats are full. I can hear a lot from backstage but I'm sure from onstage it's different.

Louis is staring at me, I can see from the corner of my eyes. I bite my lip to hide a smile and don't meet his gaze. Suddenly, his name is being called and he's gone. I sigh and look to where he was sitting only seconds ago. Was he going to say something, maybe tell me he misses me? I miss him. Not his presence because he's literally feet away from me at all times but his....personality I guess. Before that night we were always talking. Not all of it was polite dinner conversation but we were talking. Now, I feel like he's afraid of me, and that's confusing. Shouldn't I be afraid of him? He is the one that snuck out of my hotel room. I have moved on from that; I see why he did it. He was afraid and his past relationship was haunting him.

I understand that, I can relate to it. Yes, the "relationships" I had weren't real relationships but they haunt me like his do to him. That's another thing we have in common. If I were to make a list of the things Louis Tomlinson and I have in common, I am certain it wouldn't be very long. But that's alright, I'm sure we will find something to add to that list, and when we do, we can talk about it forever. Louis isn't the type of person you can have a talk with for hours on end, unless he is really interested. He won't pretend to be either; you will know when he's bored, or mad, or confused.

That's why I love him, though. I can always tell what he is feeling, even if he doesn't come right out and say the words directly. Knowing what's going on inside that pretty little head of his helps me because then I know how to react, it's almost like teamwork between us, only Louis is blind and doesn't know what's going on. I smile, he's smart but at times he can be so stupid.

Parker pulls me from my train of thought when she tells me that she and Amabel are going to be waiting in the dressing room. They usually go there, there's proper furniture and food. Me, I like to wait directly backstage. It's my job to be here so technically no one can kick me out. At first I was a little hesitant because I didn't want to be in anyone's way, but then I started to make friends and no one seems to mind. They didn't before, but I was paranoid and didn't want to be rude.

Right before the last song of the night, my stomach growls and I can't take it much longer. I'm absolutely starving and I need something to eat. I get up, gently fold my chair and place it against the wall, and head to the dressing room to find Amabel, Parker, and something to satisfy my stomach. When I open the door, the room is empty. I frown, where are they?

I shrug; all I need is food in this moment. I open the mini fridge and find a water bottle, opening it and drinking. On the table are small bags of chips and regular food snacks. This will have to do. I take about all of them and sit on the couch. I'm sure Amabel and Parker will be here soon. They probably just went across the street for something. From this room I can hear the screaming, the boys must be done. I remember it's the second, and last, show in Detroit. That's too bad, it's really pretty here. As we drove in I really admired the place. One of the perks of my job is you get to see things you never thought you would.

Just then, the doors burst open and all five members of One Direction come inside, sweaty and exhausted. They gather their clothes and leave the room just as quick as they came in. I don't even think they saw me, I was just silently eating and they must be in a rush to shower. I don't blame them for showering here, the shower on the bus is only nine square feet. Once I am finished with my food I throw it away and pop a mint in my mouth. The aftertaste of Doritos is horrid to me, I can't stand it.

The door opens again, and my jaw drops, the mint falling out my mouth and onto the floor. Louis is standing there with a towel around his waist. Oh...my God. His body and hair are soaking wet, making him look hotter than I've ever seen him.

"Have you seen my red shorts?" He asks me casually and I close my mouth to keep from drooling.

"Um...no, I don't think so." I stand, wiping my hands on my shorts and looking for my phone. If I pretend to text maybe it will distract me from Louis' glistening body. My purse is on the chair next to him. Louis is looking around the room searching for his shorts, and I secretly hope he never finds them. I would be okay with him not wearing pants for the rest of the night.

I take a deep breath and step close to him, my hand rummaging around in my purse until I find my phone. Louis looks at me and I freeze, and then pull away slightly. There is only a foot between us, his body radiating heat. I am already getting warmer from just looking at him. Unfortunately, I can't help myself; my eyes slowly rake down his body and I can see his V line from here. His tattoos make me want to relive the night we had together a million times over, he's so beautiful. Oh gosh. When I meet his eyes his lips pull into a smirk and I blush, looking down.

I gasp when Louis tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, leaning in dangerously close. His hot breath fans out over my face and I am frozen in this spot, I can't find it in myself to wrap my arms over his shoulders. Louis' hand that tucked my hair is now holding the back of my neck. His eyes are closed and I do the same, waiting for him to kiss me. I try to hold back a moan when one of his hands is placed on my hip. Oh the wicked things he puts into my mind just by touching me. Before I get a chance to his lips are gently placed on mine.

His lips don't move, but butterflies still erupt in my stomach. It's so gentle and...unsure, I don't know what to do. I sigh when he pulls away and our eyes remain closed, I don't get to meet his blue eyes before he kisses me again, only harder this time and much more desperate. This is the third time we've kissed, and the second of those three that we are sober. With one hand still on my neck and the other still on my waist, Louis pulls me to him and his lips open my mouth. My fingers tangle in his hair at the nape of his neck and he moans.

The kiss is passionate and messy, our lips biting the others and moving quickly in a feverish manner. My lower back is pressed against the table and I jump, opening my legs so he can stand between them. Louis moves both of his hands so they are resting on my thighs. I jump when he gives them a squeeze. I remind myself that he is only in a towel and I pull away.

Our breathing is ragged as both our chest move up and down, desperate for air. I place a hand on his chest and push his body away so I can jump down from the table. Our eyes lock and my heart flutters and my insides melt at the way he is looking at me. I can't put my finger on the emotion, but the way he's smiling makes me think, could he return the feelings? The possibility makes me want to French him just like I did a second ago, but then I think, and one question comes to mind that makes me turn away from him.

Is he kissing me because he can or because he wants to?

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