Feel Again (Louis Tomlinson)

{Book 3 - COMPLETE} All Marley Pennington wanted to do since her freshman year of high school was to turn her life around. To be someone she always wanted to be, and when she gets her dream job, everything seems to be headed in the right direction.
But Louis Tomlinson is another story. He's alone, afraid, and just wanting everything to go back to normal, before everything was ruined. Marley, a well-liked and cheery person tries to change Louis' look on life and love.

"Yeah with you
I can feel again
I'm feeling better ever since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me"


37. Epilogue - Marley

I am really enjoying New York City, but my visit is coming to a close. Louis wouldn't let me leave without taking me sight-seeing, that's for sure. We visited all the places that one normally would when going to The Big Apple. It's a wonderful place, but I dearly miss the homey feeling of Nashville.

I arrived in New York City two days ago, and Louis is coming home with me this time. His shows here are finished and I really want to introduce him to my family and friends as my official boyfriend. Even forty-eight hours after Louis told me he loved me, I still can't help the smile that comes on my lips when I remind myself that he is my boyfriend. It's almost silly to call him that...he means so much more to me. Since that night in the hotel we haven't been able to keep our hands off each other. It's wonderful really, it's like we're making up for the lost time. Louis tells me he loves me about every hour, but I really don't mind. It is music to my ears hearing him say the words I wanted to hear from him for so long now.

At first when Louis began his monologue, I didn't really want to believe him since he hurt me so terribly but then I have to remember what I told myself on the plane. Louis has really changed and he has proved it. I thought that he was regressing when he read my journal, but I have forgiven him for that already. I can't stay mad at him for long, I love him too much. Yes, he is still stubborn but I have noticed his eyes sparkle and his smile is brighter than when I first met him. I know it's partly from me, but it's also because his friends and band mates have noticed it as well. Louis apologized for "being a dick all the time" and just like I knew they would, they said it was alright.

Speaking of Louis' friends, Amabel is beginning school in two weeks at the Kingston University. She is leaving for England a few days from now, so her and Harry won't leave each other's side. I feel bad for her boyfriend; I know he is going to miss her terribly. As for school in terms of me, I am enrolling on some online classes like my dad recommended. I want an education but I am not ready to quit this job. That's partly because of Louis and because I just love this so much, I have made so many new friends that may as well be family to me. Parker is beginning to apply as well. She's having a rough time getting back on track when it comes to a normal teenage life but Liam is helping her through it. She is really lucky to have him.

When Louis and I arrive at the airport, everyone else is waiting for us in the private terminal. We are not getting on a private plane but we wanted to say goodbye without causing a scene. Louis sets our bags beside us and I wrap my arms around Harry's neck, then Liam's, then Zayn's, then Niall's, then Amabel's, and finally Parker's. I asked Louis probably a thousand times if he's sure he wants to come home with me and he won't budge, he is coming with me. It warms my heart to see that he's showing commitment. This Louis is so much different from the one I met, but I like this one better.

"We are going to miss you so much!" Parker tells me and every behind her nods. I really need a minute with Amabel since I won't see her for a long, long time. Louis and I will spend a week in Nashville; it will give me time to show him what my life is like. For a while I got a taste of what it's like to be in One Direction. I loved sharing that with him and I want to do something for him. Nashville will always be home for me, and nothing will change that. Even if I live in California or some place until I die, Nashville will always be considered home. I want Louis to see what's it's like there, all the wonderful people. Louis has come here when he toured but he never got a change to leave the bus or arena. I'm glad to be the first one to share it with him.

"I'm going to miss you too," I smile, tears pricking my eyes. "I will see you guys in a week. Try not to miss me too much."

"We'll try," Zayn laughs.

I grab Amabel's arm and pull to the side. She hugs me and we stay like that for a few minutes. This girl that I met less than four months ago has become like a sister to me. I love her and I am going to miss her, I don't want to begin to imagine what Harry will go through without her. "I love you, Marley. Good luck here with them," she says and pulls away, wiping the corners of her eyes. I have become so close to her that I can't imagine her not here. I know I will see her soon so I refuse to let myself cry.

"I love you too. Congratulations on getting accepted. I knew you could do it," I grin, but my promise is broken as soon as a tear rolls down my cheek.

"If Louis misbehaves, you call me. I can kick his ass even if I'm halfway across the world," she teases and I laugh. I'll miss her humor.

"Now boarding flight 204 to Nashville," the voice comes over the intercom above my head.

"That's our cue," I say to the people I have come to love.

I give hugs to everyone once more and then Louis and I board the flight. When we are seated in first class, I rest my head on his shoulder. So many emotions are coursing through me right now. I am deeply saddened by leaving my friends-especially Amabel-but I will see everyone else in a week's time. Excitement probably takes over as the wheels are lifted from the ground. I can't wait to see Violet and my parents and Cassie. Cassie is starting school as well, and can't be more excited. She has quit her job at the nail salon and is getting ready for classes. I'm not sure what she is interested as far as her major but I know she loves taking photographs. She's always the one friend who always has a camera.

"I love you," Louis says softly from beside me and I smile, pressing my lips to his. His hand cups my cheek and I pull away.

"I love you more," I reply quietly, and then rest my head on his shoulder, falling asleep in an instant.


"Babe, we're here. Wake up," Louis' calming voice wakes me from my slumber and rub the sleep from my eyes. When I look out the window I grin. I'm home!

I quickly grab my bags and basically run out of the terminal and airport completely until I am outside waving down a cab. Louis follows behind me, looking around. I really hope he likes it as much as I do. A taxi pulls up and the driver loads our bags into the back. Of course Louis only has one and I have two. Twenty minutes later we are parked in front of my home. I take a deep breath when I step out of the cab. It might sound strange but it smells like home. The grass is as green as I remember and my truck just as rusty.

My truck!

I run over to Betsy and run my fingers on her warm metal. It feels like years since I've been here, not weeks.

"Babe, are you coming?"

I nod and follow Louis inside. When I open the door, I call, "Mom, Dad? We're here!"

My parents come running into the room and into my arms. I love them so much and I really have missed it here. "Thank goodness! How was the flight?" My mother asks.

"It was fine," I smile. "Where's Cassie? And Violet?"

"Right here!" the brown haired girl comes into view and I hug her too.

Right after her my pregnant sister appears, and I gently wrap my arms around her and then pat her belly.

Behind me, Louis clears his throat. I walk over to him and tangle our fingers together. "Cassie, Mom, Dad, Violet, this is Louis Tomlinson, my boyfriend." A grin covers my face and Louis kisses my temple. Cassie squeals and jumps up and down. Louis walks to my father and shakes his hand, while my mother gives him a tight squeeze.

"It's lovely to meet you," Louis smiles politely. God, I love him.

"You too, darlin'! You are quite handsome!"

"Mom!" I scold her, cheeks flaming. "Louis, we should go. I want to show you something."

"But we just got here!" He says.

"Yeah, stay a while!" my dad suggests.

"Oh come on, let them go!" Cassie whines. "They're in love and need alone time." She smirks.

I roll my eyes. "I want to show him something that's downtown." I begin to walk to the front door with Louis' hand in mine. "We'll be back soon, in time for dinner." It's only two forty-five now, so we have enough time.

"Where are we going?" Louis chuckles as we climb into Betsy.

"You'll see," I wink. I have missed the loud roar of my truck.

"How old is this thing?"

"Hey, don't hate on my truck. I have had her since I was born," I defend my car. People may think she is a piece of scrap metal but to me, she's a part of my childhood. I grew up in this thing practically, washing this thing on hot summer days and eating lunches in here when I wanted time alone.

"I'm not; it just seems a bit...dangerous." Louis gives me a small smile and I whack his arm. He takes my hand in his and caresses the back of my hand with his thumb in a very soothing gesture.

"You'll be fine," I tease him.

I turn on the radio and the music fills the silence as I turn onto the dirt road in the back part of town. I don't think anyone else knows about this place but me, I haven't come across another person when I was here.

It's a stream, or more of a pond, really. There is this huge tree that provides shade twenty meters from the water. It's a circle pond-or lake, it depends on how you look at it-and I spent so much time here reading, writing, or just thinking. The vegetation is think and lush and it's just so peaceful here. It's a place I came to alone and I didn't tell anyone about it, not even Cassie. It was always like my own little paradise, someplace where I could escape to. During my dark days during the ninth grade I was here when I wasn't at home or at school.

"What's this place?" Louis asks.

"Somewhere that is close to me," I answer, parking the car and stepping out. Louis follows me as I walk to the swinging bench that sits under the tree in the shade. When I found this place it was broken, but I fixed it. My dad showed me a few things when he spent hours in the garage. The white paint is now chipped, but I love it nonetheless.

When I sit, Louis is right by my side. "This place is beautiful."

"I used to come here all the time," I say, looking around. It feels wonderful to be back, it surfaces so many memories. "I have never brought anyone else here before." I meet his blue eyes, the ones I have grown to love so much.

He frowns. "Why me then?"

I take his hand. "I brought you here because I love you. You have shared with me what you do, and I have learned so much from you and being on tour. I wanted to show you something to. This place is very important to me, and I wanted to share it with you, since you mean the world to me."

Louis' smile is something I would die to see every second of every day. It's such a beautiful thing. He kisses me and it's like a new experience every time. Sparks explode and I never want to let go. "Thank you," he says when he pulls away.

I sit up abruptly. "I almost forgot!"

"Forgot what?"

"This." I dig into my purse and pull out what I have been carrying for about a week now, waiting for this moment to give it to him. I pull from my bag, a journal. It's plain black leather and has a string to mark the page. I place it in his hands and he stares at it for a moment. "Now you can write down your feelings in here like I do. We might be different but we're the same, too. And you can share with me what you write, but if you don't want to, that's okay. It's okay to be scared right?" I explain, using the words that have become a secret language between us.

It's okay to be scared, right?

Louis smiles up at me. "I love it. This is wonderful, really. Thank you." He pulls me into a hug and I bury my face in his shirt, smelling his cologne.

I want Louis to be open to his feelings, and I figured this is the best way. Obviously, Louis isn't the best with telling people how he feels, but now he can write everything down so he won't forget. If things get bad for him again, then he can read his own journal.

We lay down in the grass, my head on his chest and his fingers playing with my hair. I know I did most of the talking, but Louis doesn't need to give me a long speech about how much he loves me, I know he does. It took us a while to finally be together but it's worth it and he is telling me everything I want to hear just by being with me.

I talk for what feels like hours as I tell him about my childhood and everything there is to know about me. Louis already knows me but I want him to know the little things, the important things. I am eager for him to get to know Violet and Cassie and Brandon. I want him to know everything there is to know, not just about me but the things that matter to me.

Obstacles are going to stand in our way but because of my unconditional love for him-and because I know he loves me-we can get through it. The rough patch that is called the start of our relationship has prepared us for the tough times coming. But I don't care; I will take a million times over to be with him.

Like this pond, Louis holds a special place in my heart. I knew from the beginning that he would be the one to make me feel secure in a relationship. That's how we're alike: we're both scared but that fear is gone by the comfort of the other. We're just what the other needs.

This place that I loved having to myself is now even more scared, but only because of the blue eyed boy that's with me now, always and forever.


This is officially over now! :( Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! I hope the ending was satisfying. This is definitely the best I have written so far and I cannot wait for you to read the next book in my series, Picture Imperfect (Niall Horan).

The next chapter will be a playlist of all the songs on the Feel Again soundtrack! :D

Alli, x

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