My gaurdian angel

I run into a empty class room and pull out my scissors, bringing them to my wrists
I watch as the crimson red blood pours out of my arm, cut after cut until there are 5 cuts, I grab the bandages out of my bag and cover my cuts then pull down my sleeves.......


9. I don't deserve this life

Hannah's Pov


I wake up at 4 in the morning in Niall's embrace. I enjoy it for a few more minutes before getting up slowly, making sure not to wake him up. I slowly walk over to my desk and write down 2 notes, 1 for Niall and 1 for Louis


I put them on the bathroom door before walking downstairs to Louis' car to get the scissors he confiscated from me

I quietly walk back up to my room and lock myself in my bathroom. I sit down on the floor and sob as I the cuts bleed

"Hannah!!!" I hear Niall pounding on the door.... Shit....


Louis' Pov


I wake up at 4 in the morning hearing to front door open and close, weird... maybe I am just hearing things... I hear a car door open and close outside then the front door open and close again

A few minutes later I hear pounding and Niall yelling for Hannah

Fuck!! Her scissors were in my car!! I jump out of bed and run as fast as I can into Hannah's room to see Niall on the ground crying, holding a piece of paper

I pick up the other one that is written for me



Just know that none of this is your fault... I am a horrible person that no one cares about.

That's why my dad did those things and it's my fault that he did that to Niall... Because I wasn't there.... At least I will be with my mom and sister..... Please don't cry for me and tell Niall that it isn't his fault either... I can see him sitting there crying, rocking back and forth like he was 5 years ago... only this time I won't be there to save him... Take care of him and treat him like a younger brother.... Don't be upset that I am dead... be happy that I was ever alive... or at least don't cry for me because I doubt you cared about me when I was alive.... well this is good bye I guess... I love you Louis I have since I laid eyes on you 3 years ago, and I always have


The girl in the park,

Hannah Horan


I cry as I go and bang on the door "Hannah!!!!!!"


Hannah's Pov


I hear Niall crying "I love you both" I cut myself for the 4th time... I am not going deep enough "Hannah!!!!!!" I hear Louis pounding the door

I am about to cut again, deeper but the door is on the floor in front of me and the scissors are being taken away from me "No!! Give them back!! I need to do this" I try to take them from Louis but Niall holds me back "Let go of me!!! I don't deserve to live!!! No!! Give them back!!"

"Hannah!!! Please stop!!" Niall cries

"No!!!" I push him away and run past them both downstairs to the guest bathroom, slamming the door grabbing the first bottle of pills I can find. They won't open "Come on!! Open!!!" I cry

Louis runs in and tried to take them "No!!" I pull them back, still trying to open them

"Hannah!! Give them to me!!!" He yells crying

"No!!" They pop open and spill all over the ground "No look what you have done!!!!" I kneel down and try to gather a hand full "No No No No No" I grab a bunch but they are knocked out of my hands and I  am being dragged out of the room by Louis "No!! Let go of me!! Put me down" I scream kicking him and punching him

"Hannah!! Calm down, please" Louis puts me down on the floor in the hallway

"No!!! I don't deserve this life!! It's all my fault!!! That's why he hurt us!!! Teddy died because of me!!!" I try to run around Louis but he grabs my waist. I squirm "Let me go!!! I want to be with Teddy!!!! I need to see my sister!!!" I try to get away

"HANNAH!!!!!" he yells at the top of his lounges

I flinch and collapse onto the ground sobbing "I need to see her.... she's dead because of me.... I killed my sister..." I sob and rock back and forth. Louis tries to hold me but I pull away and cry even more

"Hannah, you're scaring me to death, just tell me what you mean?"

"Sh-she was on her way home to see me on out birthday.... she lived with our grand parents and she was walking over to see me so she could give me a birthday present and just spend time with me...." I take a deep breath "She was crossing the road when the truck came, it was spinning out of control and killed her on contact......" I start trembling even more "Her last text message to me was I'll be there no matter how long it takes, love you....."

"Hannah.... It isn't your fault, don't ever say it ever again.... It is the driver who wasn't in control of the wheel that killed her.. Okay? It was not your fault"

I nod slowly before he pulls me into his arms "Don't ever to that to me again... you scared me to death..... I thought I was actually going to lose you"

"S-sorry..." I cried into his chest "Niall!!" I stand up and find him sitting next to the bathroom, frozen, his face blank

"N-Niall... I am so sorry" I sit down next to him as he stares at the bottle of spilled pills on the ground

"Niall?" I put my hand on his shoulder

He flinched it away and walked upstairs to his room, slamming it and locking it

I sobbed quietly "What was that about?"

"He hates me"

"No he doesn't... He thought he was going to loose his sister"

"I broke my promise.... he hates me...."

"What promise?" He kneels down next to me

"This isn't the first time I did this.... The day before I left... My dad was at work and Teddy was over.

I was reading the notes that came early because people just hated me that much.... I couldn't take it and I went into the bathroom and I tried to open the pills but the wouldn't open. Niall tried to take them and the exact same thing happened.... we fought over them, they spilled, I yelled at him and I tried to grab them but he dragged me out of the room and held me to his chest, singing to me, trying to calm me down. Once I was calm he made me promise I would never do it again and I just promise..."
"Go talk to him"

I shake my head "He hates me..." I cry

"Just go talk to him"


Niall's Pov


As I was watching Louis and Hannah fight over the bottle of pills, couldn't get the day 3 years ago when that was me and her... she promised that she wouldn't do it again..... I couldn't move, the second I got to my room I locked the door and fell to my knees and just cried.... That's the second time that she has scared me like that... only this time was different, if Louis wasn't here I wouldn't have been able to stop her... I would've lost my sister.... I would've lost the only thing important to me

"Niall?" Hannah knocks on the door

I ignore her and keep crying

The door opens "You forgot I know how to pick locks"

I shake my head and keep my eyes on the floor

"Niall, I'm so sorry... I know you probably hate me.... I promised I wouldn't do it again.... I broke that promise..." She kneels down next to me "Please say something... even if it's you telling me that you hate me and you want me out... just talk to me"

"I don't hate you" I look up at her "I love you with all my heart, you just scared me.... as I was watching you I couldn't breath... I just kept seeing that day... how you acted..... and how you promised never again.... I'm not mad that you broke that promise, I am disappointed... There was a difference between today and that day..."

"What's that?"

"I was able to stop you that day... if.. if Louis hadn't have been here then I would've lost the only thing in this world that I can't live without.... I wouldn't have been able to stop you... Louis almost couldn't....."

"Niall..." She hugs me as we cry into each other's embrace "I am so sorry Niall.... I will never ever do it again"


"Super pinky promise" She holds her pinky out. I laugh a bit and wrap my pinky with hers "There's that smile" she says lifting my head so she can see my face



"Actually keep your promise this time?"

"It was a super pinky promise, you can't just break one of those.... it's against all of humanity" she says with a dead serious look on her face

I can't help but burst out laughing "I love you" I pull her into a hug, not wanting to ever let go

"I love you too" She hugs me back "Oh, guess what?"


"Louis asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday at the dance"

"Did I say I approved of him?" I look at her with a serious face

"Oh suck my invisible dick" she sasses and stands up holding her hand out for me

"No thanks, I am gonna pass on that one" I laugh and she pulls me up

I put my arm around her and we walk downstairs

"See I told you he didn't hate you" Louis says once we get to him sitting on the couch

"Y'know what? He saved your life.... I approve" I whisper in her ear

She giggles and pushes me "Oh no you did not" I push her back

"It is on" She pushes me harder

"You know what? Fuck it" I push her to the ground tickling her

"N-Niall!!!! St-Stop!!!!!!" She says laughing

"Then Say you Love me"


"Okay" I shrug and tickle her more

"L-Lou!!!! H-Help!!!" she says laughing harder

"No" he stands up and walks into the kitchen

"Okay!!! Fine!! I love you Niall!!! You are the best brother in the world!!!"

"Damn straight" I stop and help her up and Louis walks back in with 3 waters and tosses on to each of us

She sits down and drinks hers

"Hannah" Louis sit's down next to her

She doesn't say anything and turns and looks at me, I just laugh and pull her into a hug

"Hannah" Louis wines

"Why aren't you talking to me"

"You didn't help me when Niall was tickling me"

"Oh get over it"

"I could have died of laughter!!" she exclaims

"I don't know what's more scary, the fact that she made that up or the fact that she is dead serious..." I say looking at her face for any sign of joking.... nope

"I am serious!!!" She folds her arms and pouts like a 4 year old

"Okay, fine I am so sorry for not helping you... Please forgive me?"

"Hmm... I don't know"  she smirks


Louis' Pov


"Hmm... I don't know..." She smirks knowing I know that this is a repeat of when I asked her to be my girlfriend

I make her look at me and I smash my lips onto hers

When I pull away "I might need more convincing"

I kiss her harder this time "EWWWW GROSS!!!!" Niall yells standing up

I laugh and pull away and we are both panting "Ye-Yes" she says trying to catch her breath

"I'm ho- Oh my god!! What happened?!" My mom yells from the hallway

I walk in and get a good look of what we did, there were pills all over the place, the flower vase is shattered on the ground and there is a blood puddle where Hannah was sitting crying

"H-Hannah had a bit of a panic attack..." I say scratching my neck

"Louis!!!" Niall yells from the living room.

I run in and see Hannah passed out on the floor... Her cuts!! We never covered them!!! "Shit!!!!" I ran out and got the first aid kit and quickly covered her cuts after covering them

"Come on..... Come on Hannah... Wake up..." I hold her in my arms

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