My gaurdian angel

I run into a empty class room and pull out my scissors, bringing them to my wrists
I watch as the crimson red blood pours out of my arm, cut after cut until there are 5 cuts, I grab the bandages out of my bag and cover my cuts then pull down my sleeves.......


21. Fast forward to the future

3 years later


I live in London now with my child Liliana-Grace

"Hey Hannah, We are back from tour, want to come meet the rest of the boys? I want to my niece"

Niall's text woke me up

"Sure, we will be there in a little while" I respond before going to get Lily ready

"Mommy where are we going" She says as we get into the car

"To see uncle Niall" I say and start driving

When I get there I sit thinking about what I am going to do about Louis.... I saw on the news that he is Dating Eleanor Calder

I sigh and get out of the car, grabbing Lily's hand I walk over and knock on the door

"Hannah!!" I screams hugging me

I hold him tight "God I missed you so much" I start to tear up

"Hey, why are you crying?" He pulls away wiping my tears

I shake my head and smile "You've grown up" I laugh "I know you're but brother but if you weren't I would be all over you... Time was generous to you" I look into his bright blue eyes

"Thank you" He looks down at Lily "This must be your beautiful daughter" he kneels down "I am Uncle Niall" She hugs him and he picks her up

"She is 3 right?"

"Next week" I smile and pinch her cheek

"Mommy" She whines. I just laugh

"Come, meet the other boys" He puts her down and grabs her hand, leading us into the living room "Harry, Liam, Zayn" He points to each of them "Guys this is my beautiful sister Hannaj, she's off limits Harry" I look at him confused

"The other 2 have girlfriends" I nod and pick Lily up

"You must be Hannah" I hear a girl say behind me. I turn "Hi, I'm Eleanor.. Louis' Girlfriend"

I fake a smile and shake her hand "Oh! Everyone this is Lily" I say looking at the gorgeous girl, who is the splitting image of her father in my arms

"She looks just like him" Niall says so only I can hear as he tickles her

"Yeah, that's what kills me about it.. where is Louis?" I say the last part louder so everyone can hear

He runs downstairs "Sorry, I lost my phone... So what are we do-" he pauses and looks at me "ing..." he finishes his sentence

'"Mommy, I am hungry" Lily pouts crossing her arms

"Uncle Ni and I will make breakfast for every one.. How does that sound?" I look at  her and she nods

I walk behind Niall to the kitchen with her in my arms



After we cook pancakes for everyone Niall goes to the dining room with them. I just stand there thinking about Louis... I collapse to the ground crying

"Hanna- Are you okay?" Liam rushes in and kneels down next to me

I just nod and wipe my tears before standing up

"No you're not, what's wrong"

"L-Louis was my boyfriend back in highschool... I guess I miss him more then I thought I did..."

"It will be fine... I promise... According to Niall, he has changed a lot since high school.. so he's not the Louis you dated... And I am probably not helping sorry" he says looking at my sad face

I just laugh "No, you didn't help but what did help was that you were trying to help... It helps that some one cares" I smile

"I'm glad I can help, now let's go eat... Lily is asking for you"

I nod and we walk back in "Mommy!!" Lily runs over and hugs my legs

I laugh and kneel down to her level "Mommy, will they be at my birfday next week?"

"If you want them to be..."

"Hmm.... Only if you bring presents!!" She says putting her hands on her hips

"Sweetie it's not nice to demand presents"

"And it's not nice to not get presents on your birfday mommy"

I just laugh "She has he father's personality"

"Who's her father?' Eleanor asks

Niall, Louis and I freeze "An old boyfriend who I haven't seen since he found out about her" I say glancing at Louis' guilty look... I shot him a 'Good you better be guilty' look and he just looked down

"So you have been raising her on your own for 3 years?" Liam asks

I just nod and look at Lily, she is playing with my shoe laces "Hey, what are you doing" I say laughing as she unties my laces

"Pwacticing mommy" she smiles

I kneel down and tie them and pick her up "You don't own a pair of laced shoes... It doesn't matter"

"Will I ever get some? For my birthday?"  she says excited

I just tap the side of my nose and put her down "How about we go and watch spongebob?' I ask her

She nods excitedly and drags me into the living room where SpongeBob is already on

"Uncle Ni!! Come on!!!" Lily whines

"I'm coming god..." He laughs and runs in scooping her up in his arms and sits down on the couch

I smile and walk back into the dining room where everyone still sits "So, Hannah... What was her dad like? Before he left?' Louis asks

I just shot him a really look and Eleanor hits him in the back of the head... I try to hold back my laughter as he pouts and rubs his head "I'm sure she doesn't want to talk about someone who hurt her"

"No, it's fine..." I laugh at his glare he shot me "Well, when I first saw him I was madly in love, even though I thought he never noticed me... 3 years later we ran into each other at school, like literally I made him spill his coffee on himself" I laugh "After a while we realized that we both felt the same way for 3 years and at the school dance he asked me to be his girlfriend... after a little while I got pregnant... I found out 5 weeks after and didn't tell him until 3 weeks after that and he yelled at me asked me if we could get an abortion or put it up for adoption and I snapped and he just walked out... To this day I cry when I think about him... They aren't tears of sadness they are tears of hatred and love mixed together..." I see Louis' look soften "But mostly hatred..." I added looking him directly in the eye

"Hannah-"  Louis starts

"Well if I were you and I ever saw him again, I would beat the living daylights out of him... After hurting me like that" Eleanor cuts him off

"I'm thinking about it... The thing that makes it worse is that he watched me try to kill myself... twice... and he knew that I was weak and one thing could push me over the edge... When he left it took all my might to not kill myself... It would've worked... he wasn't there to stop me like the other 2 times... and Niall had gone too so I was all alone...." I say not breaking eye contact with him

Niall walks in with Lily

I look at Niall "What happened to Maddie?" I say cautiously

"Oh, she's coming over..." There was a knock on the door "Now" He laughs

I stand up and rush to the door behind him

"Hey babe" Niall kisses her

"Maddie!!!" I scream

"Hannah?' I run and hug her tightly

"God I missed you..." I say tearing up

"What is it with you and crying?" Niall asks laughing

"Shut up" I slap his arm

"Hannah can I talk to you?" Maddie asks dragging me to an empty room

"What's going on?'

"I'm pregnant.."

"Oh my god!!" I hug her

"I am telling Niall now, that's why I came over"

"Mooommmmmyyyy!!!" Lily yells

I walk out into the dining room and see her rushing towards me "Stop leaving me!!!" She says hugging me

"I'm sorry Sweet Heart, we'll go get ice cream later to make up for it okay?"

She nods

"Oh  and Hannah?" Maddie says from behind me

I turn and see her showing me a huge engagement ring

"Niall!!! You bastard you could've told me!!!" I punch his shoulder and hug Maddie

"Hey, what's with you hitting me all the time?" he says whining

"Well just be lucky you're not Lily's dad... I want to kill him" I say and out of the corner of my eye I see Louis tense up

"You okay Lou?' I ask with a glare and forced smile

"Y-yes... I uh... El, why don't we go back to your place now... So you can get your bag"

He stands up and walks out with her

I look at the ground then back at Niall "He'll come back? Do you realize now how wrong you were?" I say taking Lily and walking out the door

"Mommy where are we going?"

"Hannah!!" Niall grabs my arm

"What Niall?"

"Look, I am sorry, I really though he would come back. I even talked to him and tried to get him to but he refused!! He really has changed"

"Changed?! I don't give a bloody fuck if he changed!!!  After he left I broke!! I called him and texted him... Hell I even sent him letters with pictures of Lily in them!! Did he give a shit? No!! He left me, when I sent him texts and voice mails saying that Lily was sick in the hospital or we needed money and he had more money than he could handle and he didn't give a dime!! Do you know that I am this close to living on  the streets again?! And I told him that! I called him and left him texts that I know he read saying we are being kicked out in a week if we don't pay the rent for the last 3 months plus this month's!! Do you know how much money I owe to my land lord?" He shook his head "10, 000 dollars... I don't have that much money!! I barely have $500 to pay for food and stuff to live!!! I need help Niall and no one seems to care... especially not Louis Fucking Tomlinson" I say breaking down crying

He pulls me into his arms "Shh.... Sh... It's okay, if you needed help why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you to worry about me.. I thought that if Louis saw the trouble I am in he would see that he needs to man up and help me... but he didn't and I am being kicked out of my apartment in-" My phone rings

"Hello, What? No!!! Please give me more time" I drop my phone "I live on the streets...." I freeze


"They didn't even let me use the week I had left to find the money... they just said that all of my stuff needs to be out by midnight..." I fall to my needs

"Hannah, you can stay here.... sure 5 boys live here and you hate one of them with all your heart but we have plenty of room"

"No, I don't want to get in the way.."

"I am not letting my sister and niece live on the streets, I'll send the boys over to get all of your stuff"

"It's all packed in boxes because I wasn't expecting to get the money and they said that it's in the hall outside of my apartment..."

He runs in the house and Liam, Harry and Zayn come out

"Here" I hand them the address and Niall helps Lily and I inside


4 hours later I am all unpacked and sitting in the living room playing with Lily

"Louis, can I talk to you for a second?" Niall stands up and drags Louis out of the room before he answers

I sigh and look at Lily smiling

You hear muffled yelling then Louis runs in "Hannah.... N-Niall needs to see you" He holds a hand out for me to help me up but I refuse it

"Lily stay with Liam..." I look at Louis and at Liam hoping he knows that I don't want Louis anywhere near him and he nods

I look at Louis before walking out seeing he has a red mark on his jaw

"Niall?' I knock on his door

"Come in..." I walk in and see Niall on his bed with his head in his hands

"M-Maddie's Pregnant..."

"I know.. She told me when she got here"

"Louis told me that he doesn't regret leaving, he says that he doesn't care about you or her... I punched him"

"I saw" I sit down next to him "Don't leave her like he did to me"

"I wouldn't in a million years" he looks up smiling

"I love you, you know that right?" I say hugging him "You are the best baby brother in the world"

"hey, you know I don't like being called baby brother" he whines hugging me back

"I know" I smile and stick my tongue out at him before running downstairs

I see Lily playing with her dolly and I mess with the necklace... I haven't taken the necklace he gave me off since the day he got it for me

Louis looks over at me and his gaze is on the necklace

I hide it under my jumper and wipe the tear I didn't know I shed and walk over stealing Lily's doll


I laugh "But I want to play"

"But that one's mine" She takes it back and hands me a different dolly "Here you go mommy" she smiles and I kiss her head

"Uncle Ni?' She asks him when he walks back in

"Yes princess?"

"Do you have any carrots?" She asks with puppy dog eyes

He just laughs "Yup, she's her daddy's child" he picks her up and walks into the kitchen

"Her dad likes carrots?' Louis asks, trying to not make it obvious that it's him

I just nod and look at the ground

"Hannah, I saw you playing with your necklace, can I see it?" He says trying to get me to talk to him

I shake my head and glare at him

"Please..." He says softly

I sigh and I pull it out from my jumper showing him the ruby jewel with diamonds surrounding it to look like a flower

He lightly holds the charm as a tear falls down his cheek

"Lou? Are you okay?' Liam asks looking at him weirdly

"Yeah..." He wipes his tear "You kept it?' He says so only I can hear

"Why wouldn't I? The person I love gave it to me... I haven't taken it off since my birthday when you gave it to me" I say so only he can hear

"I am sorry Hannah"

"No you're not..." I shake my head and laugh sarcastically "You told Niall you didn't care about us.. So why would you be sorry"

"Secrets are for people who have something to hide" Harry pipes into our conversation

I jump "We aren't keeping secrets.."

I look and see Louis looking at the necklace "You know what? I think I am going to take Lily out to ice cream now" I unclasp my necklace and Louis looks at me weirdly

"It reminds me of unwanted memories" I say dropping it on the floor in front of him as a tear slips

I walk into the kitchen and see Lily eating a carrot as Niall sings to "Do you guys want some ice cream?"

"Yes!!" They both yell and I laugh "Come on Mommy" Lilly grabs mine and Niall's hands dragging us to the door and to the car

"She likes ice cream I take it?" Niall laughs

We get in and Louis runs out "Hannah!!" I sigh and look at him. I roll down my window "Here" He hands me the necklace "Keep it... It was a gift and i want you to keep it"

I look at it and reluctantly put it back on, hiding it under my jumper before pulling out and going to the ice cream shop

"I can tell you still love him" Niall says eating his ice cream

"No I don't" I say looking down at the table

"Yes you do, every one can see it... Even Eleanor" he grabs my hand "everyone except him"

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