Letters to Harry (on hold)

Harry and Autumn shared a love like no other. The laughs, smiles, and tears they shared together were like any other they had experienced with anyone else. All things must come to an end at some point. When Autumn's life is cut short by terminal cancer she finds a way to make Harry remember. She wants him to remember the love they shared and the memories they created throughout the years. This is the diary she wrote for Harry while she was in the hospital and he was on tour. The diary of a girl who loved a boy and the experiences they created together.


4. Entry 3

Dear Harry,

You continued with your Up All Night Tour and I returned home with my mom.  I was still in shock, still so unsure of why you had given me your number.  It took me almost two whole weeks to text you.  I had no clue what to say or how to even start a conversation with you.  I knew you boys were going to America soon so I decided to text you before you left.  I think it was my way of reminding you I was still here.

I remember the first text I sent you:

Hey, it’s Autumn Miller.  How are you? Xx :)

I was shocked when you responded within seconds.  You replied:

Hey Autumn! I’m good, how are you? I was beginning to think I was never going to hear from you!!!! Xx

That was the beginning.  The beginning of the year we talked nonstop.  It seemed like each day we talked we got closer.  As the weeks past, a few months after I sent the first text, we were talking every day.  Even if it was a simple goodnight after one of your shows, I was always glad to hear from you.   We even skyped a few times.  Occasionally it was just you and I, but somehow most of the time it ended up with Louis running off with your laptop.  He would then run to Niall who seemed to always be dancing, Liam always made funny faces at me, and Zayn just simply smiled and waved.  You all earned a good laugh out of me more than once.  I was excited where my relationship was headed with you.

Soon enough the Take Me Home Tour was about to end.  You had a few shows left, and something in you changed.  I was unsure of your new behavior I guess you could call it.  I thought you seemed rather distant for about a week, but then a few days before you arrived back in London I realized that you were just nervous.

You told me you were nervous to return home, excited to see your family, but a little upset that the tour was ending.  The last thing you told me you were nervous about came as a surprise to me.  You were nervous about me.  You told me you wanted to see me again and you had been nervous all week about asking me out.  Harry, you, out of all people, was nervous to ask me out on a date with you.

As soon as you asked to see me when you returned home, I could hold the smile back.  We were on skype and it was such a random question.  We were talking and out of nowhere you just said, “Autumn, can I see you when I get home… as like a date.. . maybe?”

Yes Harry, I do remember the first time you asked me out, word for word.  I let out a little laugh and then I had a huge smile plastered on my face when I realized you were serious.  I didn’t want to talk because I was terrified that I would end up screaming yes into the webcam so I nodded my head instead.

I never met anyone like you before Harry.  I mean that in every way.  I was 16 when we first met.  I never knew what it was like to have someone care for me the way you did, even as a friend.  I enjoyed talking to you, but I never knew that you felt that way, like the way I felt about you.

I was honored, not because you are Harry Styles, 1/5 of One Direction, but because over the course of almost five months I got to know you.  You weren’t 1/5 anymore, you didn’t even seem like an international pop star, but instead you were a friend.  Someone I enjoyed talking to you even if for only a couple minutes a day.  We developed a friendship quickly, and that’s all I thought it was going to be until you asked me on a date, the first date that I would never forget.


Autumn Rose Miller

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