Life behind a smile

This more then a story, its a living nightmare about a girl and what really happened in her life. Many around her thinks they know the real her but they only know what she lets them.. hidden behind all the acts is a broken lost girl who doesn't understand the meaning of life but only the pain and hatred that happens to find her.. step into her world for a second and see the real her. Each chapter provide a clue on what she goes through. However chapter One is a complete trueful inside .


2. Its Over

      NUMB: Unable to think feel or respond

   My life is nearly over. I have lost everything and everyone I ever loved. The only one that gave me hope and meaning walked out my life but why? There has to be a reason for her to just leave me. I was left with meaningless words from her in a hallway alone. I felt like my heart broke and turned to dust.

   Is love just word made to describe an overwhelming attachment to another? Not a feeling but just a attachment to another? An obsession that never lasts? I cant explain why I ever felt the way I did...had that "love" for her. Does it even matter to her that it existed? Or is it a lost memory hidden in the back of her mind only to be abandoned by her? I pace back and forth, tracing my finger along the rim of my wine glass. She must be having a second thought about us like I am, if not does it make the love we had any less real?
‎    As the wine makes it way down my throat it felt warm like the hugs she use to give me. Full of care and compassion. Memories game back from a party we went to. God we were inseparable, as the movie was playing we sat next to each other. Not long after we had a chance to play truth or dare. I remember having some feelings for her. It felt so weird trying to read her mind wondering if I can ever be hers. It was her turn, Dee dared hear to kiss me. She chanted in excitement "Kiss him, kiss him!". Her lips pressed against mine, bringing sparks into the already filled room. When it came to an end seconds after she finally asked what I already hoping for, to be hers.
   Do you think she misses me because honestly I miss her. Reminiscing about the times we had doesn't make this emptiness go away, but I cant help but enjoy it. She was a big part of, she is a big part of me. The pain keeps building the more I think about her. When she post something my heart stops because I know she cant never miss me then way I miss her.

   I turned to see the expression in my best friend's face. It gave off the energy of sorrow almost as if she understood where I was coming from...or...or was it disapproval? A feeling I was afraid receive from another human being in the condition I'm already in. She stood up without a word escaping her lips and walked over to me. Before I had the chance to say sorry for making her listen, she hugged me. There I knew she felt empathy. By just one action I felt relief for the first time in a long time.

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