Build Me Up.

I thought a diary entry would be appropriate for the 'Hidden Power' competition.. As always, rated Yellow for possible triggering scenes or choice language (you never know what I might write when writing from the seat!)


2. 18/10/2012


I feel elated

I've not felt this way in a long time. I got home in a desperate mood and rushed to my bedroom, my bag falling from my shoulder as I fled up the stairs. I opened the door in a flurry, only to find post-it notes covering my walls like fractured bones of wallpaper, each one decorated in minute black scrawls. As I stepped closer, I realised that it was my sister's petite scribbles that coated the yellow paper in ink. Shuffling even closer, I saw mixtures of hearts and happy faces and words like 'love' and 'stunning'. I focused on one, and I saw 'I wish I could be like you' written delicately in pencil. The next one said 'You light up every day so much, we no longer need the sun'. 

I felt tears tickle my eyes gently and I smiled for the first time today. The deeply rooted storm clouds in my mind seemed to clear a bit, with a gentle, meagre sunlight seeping through like honey. There was a sensation of ecstasy rising up through my stomach, and I spent the next hour or so reading and re-reading her notes to me, mouthing them to myself through a constant curtain of joyful tears. When I heard the door slam downstairs, I shot down and seized her, forcing the air out of her lungs with a rib-crushing hug. 

We spent this evening eating and talking and listening to music. I never knew how much I didn't know about my own little sister. I didn't even realise that she's not little anymore. She has a boyfriend, is doing exams, and even has a job. 

My baby sister is better off in life than me, and that's more than I can ever ask.   

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