One Direction at Forty Thousand Feet

One Direction fanfic.
Ever wondered what would happen if the boys of one direction got their hands on movellas?
Well here is a short fanfiction telling you just that.


14. Picture Not-So-Perfect

Holly's POV

Photoshop can be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing for creating covers...not so much when the covers are a little too triple-ex.

"Take a good look at this." I quipped, shooting Prisoner one of my best death glares, as I brought up a movella. It was a Ziall fanfic, and the cover was particularly disgusting. Photoshop had been forced into stripping both band members, and arranging them into a particularly graphic position.

If it made me uncomfortable, it'll screw them up for a very long time.

Pigeon-Fan leaned his way over my shoulder, looking over at the screen. Like Leprechaun and Pervert, he too reeked of that perfume. Yet another reason not to buy it, as it smells vile when it's really strong.

There are many benefits to having a black computer, but one that's showing up in this case, is the ability to act like a mirror, so I can see the blood drain from Prisoner's face, his jaw open in shock, and an expression of pure disgust to cross his face.

"Is he doing what I think he's doing?" Louis asked, in a voice made thin from shock and disgust. I would say he sounded like Bernadette from The Big Bang Theory, but as that show is epic, I don't want to degrade it by comparing these twats to any character from it.

"That depends. What do you think he's doing?" I replied, as Louis gradually went paler and paler, until he was the exact colour of expired milk. Yeah, I think that may have screwed him up for a while.

"What's up, Lou- Oh God!" Pervert asked, clearly wondering what had made Pigeon-Fan look like an un-awesome ghost. I think he worked it out though, when he leaned over my shoulder, getting way closer than needed.

"I take it you're showing them the covers, Holly?" Mina asked, bringing up another disturbing one on her computer, and showing it to Curly and Toy Story-Obsessive. From where I was sitting, it was hard to see exactly what cover she was showing them, but it definitely featured a girl revealing far too much skin.

"Yep, sure am." I replied, scanning through and finding another one. This time, it was a Liam Payne fanfic, with an equally disturbing cover: a tinted image of a woman being pushed up against a wall and stripped of her clothing.

Over my shoulder, I could tell Zayn was reacting to the covers, but not in the way I'd hoped. "You know, I could try that out on you sometime." He hissed in my ear, making me flinch. One, he's a pervert. Two, he doesn't get the message. Three, just no, and four, he has got to be kidding me.

I'm not gonna let his perverted mind disturb me though. Oh, no way! Instead of shuddering, I just simply wiped all emotions from my face, and turned to look at his pathetic attempt at a seductive look.

"Ninety-nine percent of people are scared of me, and the male population of that percentage are scared of me for one main reason. I can castrate a guy in over twenty different ways, all in under a minute, with each method ranging in pain from mild, to stepping-on-a-lego. You make one more perverted comment to me, or perv on me one more time, and you'll get the stepping-on-a-lego method. Clear?"

The lust-filled look vanished pretty rapidly at my words, and I definitely saw him cross his legs. "Crystal." He replied nervously.

"Good to hear it." I cheerfully said, before turning back to my screen. "Back on topic, these cover-pornos have been springing up lately, and as you can tell they're pretty disturbing."

"That's bad enough, but if you look at the report options, there isn't one for 'Report Inappropriate Cover'. So even if we come across one that shows a girl completely naked, or an explicit scene, we can't report it unless we email the staff, and we all know how long it takes to get a response." Mina added, showing What's-A-Brush the cover of yet another Larry Stylinson fanfic, that ended with him throwing up in an air-sickness bag. I bet she showed him the one I've been complaining about for months.

"If we get one at all." I added dispiritedly. I mean, there's a fine line between art and that. I mean, where else would you see scenes like that?"

It was meant to be a rhetorical question, but clearly Pervert doesn't get those. "Hmm, well maybe a few still shots from the tape we could make, or the photos I'd love to have of you." He replied, earning himself a very cold look from me.

"Remember, stepping-on-a-lego." I hissed, and he very quickly shut up.

Just then, Mercury came back, quickly followed by a dripping wet Perverted-Leprechaun, with Spoon-O-Phobe and Flammable supporting him. He seemed to be grinning to himself, though that changed when he saw Prisoner going through his phone.

I'd been wondering where Zebra-Impersonator had gotten too. A death glare later, aided by the cracks from Mercury's knuckles, and the little "confrontation" between them rapidly fizzled out. Though I definitely want to add Pigeon-Brain to my list of nicknames for them.

"Who the HELL do you think you are?" Pervert snapped, as I turned my attention to Perv and the dripping Leprechaun. If either of them come anywhere near me...well I'll have a lot of inspiration for Deception, shall we say.

Thankfully they were more interested in Mercury, though in the aggravated sense. The freaking legend had apparently dunked Niall! What a legend! No wonder I laughed like mad, despite how I hate that my laugh makes me sound like a hyena with its tail on fire.

So I was pretty peeved when Louis made a comment about him. Peeved enough to smack him upside the head hard enough to make my ancient Pain-Tolerance scars complain.

However, Niall's comment made me seethe. I swear, if I didn't want to become an inmate of Holloway...

"Back off, both of you. Pervert, you say anything like that to any of my friends again, and I'll knock you out and you'll wake up missing a few pieces! Mercury, I'll take care of him." I announced loudly, getting to my feet and standing between them.

Call my a hypocrite for breaking up a fight if you want, but I am not risking letting one of my friends get hurt in front of me.

"Besides," I began, shooting Zayn a look known to bring grown men over six feet tall to their knees, as I saw him lick his lips whilst staring at me. "We've got more to tell you."

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