Hi Im Hannah. Im Dating a guy named Dylan. He is really hot. But he is a little jealous of my friends Niall, Louis, Liam, Harry and Zayn. We all go to school together. Yea he is the bad boy type. But he will never hurt me. Although lately our relationship has gone down hill. :( I guess if you wanna know more you can read my story.


31. Chapter 31

1 week later:

Hannah's POV: Niall, Sydney and I walked up to the small casket. Lucas laid there. Still. lifeless. "Daddy. Is he sleeping?" I heard Sydney say. "No." Niall said. "Who is he?" "Sydney we told you. This is your baby brother. Lucas." I said. I looked down at his body. After the funereal Niall and I went to the cemetery. I didn't speak. Sydney was in the back. Playing. I looked out the window. When I grew up, I was probably a little older then 6. I grew up in small towns. Sometimes I didn't live in town. I remember seeing fields. I remember loving to see them. Now I look. I see buildings. Nothing with nature. Soon we made it to the cemetery. They said a few words. Then everyone left. I sat in the spot I had planted my body. I just looked at the casket. Soon Niall came behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Sydney is sleeping." I just nodded. I felt the tears welt up in my eyes. "Oh God! I just I cant believe it!" I said. I leaned over and put my face in my hands.

Nialls POV: It killed me to see her that way. I came around to her and hugged her. She cried harder then she ever had. "He is in a better place Hannah you know that." I said. She slowed her cried. She got up and walked to the car. I walked close behind her. She got into the car. She didn't stop crying. We got home and Hannah helped Sydney out of the car. She went to go play. Hannah and I walked into the house together. "Im going to take a shower." Hannah said. I nodded. She hugged me and walked into the bathroom.

Hannah's POV: I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I didn't want anyone to walk in while I did what I was going to do. I turned on the shower. When I was younger I did this a lot. I knew what to do. How to hide what I had done. Keep everything a secret. I waited a few minuets then I looked around. I saw lots of things I could use. But then I found the best thing ever. My razor. I took it into my hands. I took the top off. Then I began hitting it with something. I wasn't even sure what it was. Soon the blades broke out of it. It made a loud noise. "You alright in there Hannah?" Niall yelled though the door. "Yea. Just dropped a bottle." I said. Niall said nothing else. I took one of the blades then I un clothed myself. I stepped into the shower and sat at the bottom. I looked at my wrist. I saw my old scares. You couldn't even find them unless you looked for them. I put the blade to my skin. I pressed hard and pulled across my arm. Soon I did it more lightly. Blood went into the drain. Soon I was sobbing. I dropped the blade. I looked at my arm. It was butchered. Looking at it made me cry more. I cried for the pain, the hurt I was feeling, and then I herd the door open. I quickly stood up. I turned and hid my arm. Niall peeked though at me. I looked at him. I smiled. "may I join." I nodded. even though I didn't want him too. He looked away and un clothed himself. I quickly bent down and picked up the blade. Blood still went down my arm. I pressed it to my stomach. Trying to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. Niall stepped into the shower. I stood there arms crossed. Niall looked at  me. "You ok?" "Yea." I said with a shaking voice. Niall gave me a hug. I put my arms around him. My arms stinged from the water and touching the wounds to his skin. I winced a little. Niall noticed. He pulled away. He looked at me again. I hid my arms again. "Please tell me whats wrong." he said. I got out of the shower avoiding the question. I wrapped myself in a towel and walked quickly upstairs. "mommy look what I made." Sydney said. "Hold on baby. let me go get dressed." I said walking past her. I went to my room and locked the room. I got dressed. I wasn't bleeding as much.

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