Dark Black

A man approached me on the night of my 16th birthday. Nothing has ever been the same. I almost lost my humanity, my meaning, my purpose, my very existence.


6. Killing Me

The room was grey with only a single lightbulb hanging from above. I wait impatiently on a medical bed, I just hoped Jackson disapproves of the baby and he gets rid of it. I didn't want it, I can't love what the demon put inside me. 

"Don't worry, everything's going to be fine Nel Nel" Jackson reassured me, smashing through the door with an almost doctor like figure. At the time I believed Jackson, I trusted him. I don't know why. The guy lifted my shirt and rubbed a gel onto my stomach, he left and returned with a tv monitor. He caressed my stomach with the ultrasound scanner. 

"There's no question about it, you're pregnant." his deep voice said. A tear ran down my face and with Jackson as well. But he was the only one smiling. 

"Thank you!" Jackson yelled as he hugged the guy. "Yes Nel Nel! Come on! We've got to get packing and I've got to start looking for baby things!" I couldn't understand his happiness. I was overfilled with depression, this was it. He had me and I couldn't change that. 


I kept quiet from that day. I looked towards my stomach and curse at it, why my body had to let it come to this. I sat and slept on the couch, maybe because Jackson doesn't want anything to happen to his prized possession. This is usually what most of my days consisted of. Though, at least once throughout the day I would be left alone and my search for rope or a knife or anything to get me out of this. My search would come to a disappointing end and I would jump on the couch as soon as someone came to check on me.

The raging sickness had me jump and run to the bathroom. I was getting sicker as each day come, its supposedly supposed to slow down by this point. It seemed like all i was doing was constantly running in and out of the bathroom. I went and saw that 'doctor' again. I was getting sick due to the lack of nutrition, food. Nothing would wouldn't go down without a fight. I told him this, he gave me vitamin tablets and morning sickness tablets.

Within a week they worked. But I'd rather live a lifetime of sickness then bring a baby into my current world. Thinking long-term, no one could ever find me. I'm sure "once they figured it out, us three would already be on the plane to Tokyo." it was said by Jackson. My life was with Jackson, it was all mapped out. I needed to save my child and I, to go to a better place than this one. I refused to take any more tablets, and eat nothing, starve my self, for the sake of my child and I. Jackson soon clicked on, and I had men check on me and shove the tablets down my throat without any hesitation. I would snake my hand around their gun, hold it to my head and threaten to pull the trigger. It was my luck that on that day Jackson just happened to be checking in me as well. He snatched the gun off me, quicker than me to realize. This was the first attempt. I was put on 24/7 watch from that moment.

Moving day came upon us and the guy that was watching me had to leave me to help Jackson. I ran to the kitchen and there was nothing remotely knife like, or pointy. A butter knife though, lay on the bench top. Anything was better than this life I was chosen into. The guy came running back inside. He saw me with the knife and I  tried to fight of his heavy, strong body away from me. I couldn't get to a vital organ, but I forced the metal knife through my lower stomach. The sawing pain jilted through my whole body, blood pumped out, but I was sure the thing was gone. I quiet shriek left my lips before I fell to the ground. 


Blood, medical equipment and anger with worried faces stood around me.

"You bitch! We could've had it all! I would have looked after you!" Jackson screamed, slapping my cheek. It's not the way I wanted it to turn out, but it was gone. I wasn't breathing easier. I thought this would be a happy feeling, but I'm deeply saddened, I killed my own child. For the greater good, but that's no excuse for deliberately taking a human life. 

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