Humane (Liam Payne)

{BOOK 2 - COMPLETE} On the outside, Parker Harrison's life seems perfect. A loving family of her and her brother, Garrett and their parents. But behind closed doors, things are not as they seem. Garrett moves out as soon as he can, getting as far away as possible with the ability to still see Parker, leaving her to feel empty and guilty.

When she runs away from home, and her parents report her missing, the last thing she wants is to be found. When she crashes into Liam Payne, things start to change. He becomes an unlikely ally to staying hidden, and he opens up his arms to her.

Liam is desperate to find out why Parker is the way she is. And when he does, it's in no way what he expected.



21. Chapter 20 ~ Parker

Chapter 20 ~ Parker

“And did you know he was 17 when he wrote Little Things? He is so great. I’ve never been to one of his concerts,” Amabel rambled on, just like she had been as soon as we got back to Liam’s apartment. “Ed’s songs have so much meaning and soul; I just start crying whenever I hear him. This is quite often, since I have every single one of his songs on my phone. It drives Harry insane, but I tell him—“

“Am?” I asked, feeling a headache coming on.

“Yeah?” She smiled.

“Now isn’t a good time. I’m sorry.” I winced, hating to burst her fangirl bubble.

Her blue eyes clouded with confusion, and I think it was then that she saw how beat I was. Since that phone call with Garrett, each second was harder to keep it together. “Oh my God. I am so sorry, Parker. I didn’t notice today wasn’t your best. Did you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head no. "Not really," I mubmled.

"I’ll call you tomorrow?”

I nodded sheepishly, just wanting to crawl under a blanket and never come out. The door clicked shut, and I lost it. Tears fell from my eyes —soaking the pillow I was cuddling— as sobs escaped my lips. Garrett was the only person I had here, the only one who I could talk to about anything. And now he was leaving me. He got a job in Georgia and now I’m alone here: alone in Miami with no one to turn to.

Tears of anger and loss soaked my face, and I wondered if this is what it felt like to be completely and utterly fucked. I was alone, no family, friends —but where they really my friends? — Who didn’t have a clue what was going on, and I was sleeping on a pop star’s apartment, who I didn't even know all that well. I was fucked, and I knew it.

Why wouldn’t Garrett take me with him? I understood why he was leaving, but he knew how terrible our parents were, so how could he leave me here? I thought that he loved me. He was the only person I honestly and truly loved, and he left me. It felt like I was being ripped apart by hot tongs, nerve by nerve.

I was scared. I would never willingly admit it out loud, but I was fucking scared. I had no one to turn to—no one that knew what was going on. And I didn’t want to talk about it. I don’t think so at least. It seemed like whenever I tried to express how I was feeling, it just made the whole in my chest bigger. Saying what was going on in my head made it real since I couldn’t take those words back.

I was brought back to the present when the rattling of keys came from the front door. I sat up and wiped my face the best I could. I knew it was Liam, since he and I were the only ones that had keys.

“Parker!” I heard him bark. Well, someone was in a mood. Honestly, I didn’t want to deal with his shit right now, since I wasn’t at a very good place at the moment.

“What?” I breathed, emotionally and physically exhausted. 

“Harry? Why did you talk to Harry and not me?” He demanded right away, laying all the cards on the table. This was new for him. Normally he was so polite, and the sharpness of his tone surprised me.

What? “What are you talking about?” I asked, looking into his brown eyes, which were cold and hard.

“I want to help you! I told you that yet you go and be an open book with Harry! Is it me? Did I do something?” He paces back and forth in front of the TV while I stand four feet from him, frozen in place.

Where the hell did this come from? “It’s not like I spilled my guts to him, Liam. It’s not his business, and it’s certainly not yours.” I snapped.

His jaw clenched and my anger only increased. Who the hell does he think he is? “Tell me what happened.” He said, voice rising too.

“No fucking way! That’s not something you can just ask me!” I screamed, getting in his face.

“Why not?”

“I’m not telling you anything!” I pulled at my hair and tried not to smack him. He had some fucking nerve asking me. He knew nothing.

“I want to help you Parker! Can’t you see that? We can work through this. It’s better if you aren’t sad all the time. You need to—"

“You don’t know shit!” I yelled at him. “You don’t know what’s best for me! You don’t know me! And what makes you think I need your fucking pity? Stop pretending to care!” I spat.

“I see the way you are! And I’m not pretending.” Liam threw his arms in the air in protest and frustration.

“Yes you are! No one cares for anyone, not really. Why would you give two shits about me? Give up this nice guy act. You have no right coming into my life! You need to fucking stay away from my past, okay? It’s not pretty and I don’t like talking about it. Can’t you see that?” I was almost begging him to stop talking.

Liam stepped even closer. “It’s not an act. People can actually care; people can be worried about you. Accept that people want to help you, Parker. Things can get better. I just need you to talk to me.”

I shook my head. “No!” This was too much. This was fucking too much. I could barely handle Garrett and now Liam comes out of nowhere and demands to know what happened in my past. Are you shitting me? This cannot be happening.

The weight of everything that happened in the past twelve hours tackles me to the ground and I collapse, I tumble to the ground, sobs rocking my body as tears rush down my face. It’s too much. It’s too much. I thought I could handle living here, but now that Garrett’s left me I have no one to turn to. 

The pain is too much. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried in front of someone. Crying is for the weak. Crying makes you vulnerable. Liam rushes to my side, but I shrink away and try to hide myself. He is not helping me, he never has. He is the reason I snapped, and I absolutely hate him for it. He is the reason for all of this. Not my past, for my present. If I never would have gone to his damned concert I never would have ran away.

Well, I’m sure I would have eventually, but it all started with his concert. Liam tried to coax me but I block him out and let myself cry. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m letting Liam see me like this, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

When all my energy is drained out and all I can manage to do is sniffle, I realize Liam has been holding me in his arms the whole time. I was enveloped in his strong limbs the whole time I was sobbing. I wipe my nose and scoot away from him, making him look at me with pain in his eyes.

“Everyone has a past, Parker,” he tries to soothe me. “Everyone has pain.”

He did not just say that. If I wasn’t dead on my feet I would have gotten up and started yelling at him again. “Are you serious?” I hiss, my face twisting in anger and annoyance. Liam nodded. It was silent, and before I could stop myself, I said, “I bet you had a wonderful childhood.” No one could be as nice as he is without having a loving family, something I never had.

“I did.” He said. “My parents loved me very much.”

I knew it. “Did you have any siblings?” I asked in a monotone voice.

“Two sisters.” He answered.

I scowled, and started rambling before I could think twice. “And I bet your parents loved them too. I bet you had wonderful Christmases together. You would tell each other you loved the others and they would say it back. How nice is that? You know what? I was told those three words on the daily, but I never said it back. You know why?” I looked at Liam to find him hanging onto my every word with his forehead creased.

“Why?” He whispered. Why was I talking to him about this? And why couldn’t I stop?

“I never said it back because it was my parents who told me it.” I whispered, holding back tears. I knew that I couldn’t start sobbing again, no. I didn’t have the energy for that. “I knew they meant it, but not like others. They only said it because they hated him.”

“Who?” Liam asked in a hished voice.

“Garrett.” I couldn’t even recognize my own voice. “They despised him more than anything in the world. And at first, I didn’t understand why. It didn’t start until he was fifteen.” I hear Liam ask me what started but I ignore him. “I was too young to know what was happening. But then I knew that my mom and dad didn’t love Garrett as much as me when I heard him. I heard him screaming and it was like I felt his pain. I heard him from behind my closed door and one in the morning when they thought I was sleeping. I heard his cries of pain, begging them to stop. Their yells, their curses at him fill my senses and it’s all I can hear.”

Tears are now silently falling down my face, but I hardly notice. Liam’s brown eyes are watering, but I can’t stop, even though I want to.

“I thought that Garrett was a bad person. And one day, when I asked him what he did wrong, he started to cry. I asked him why, and he said that he was different. I didn’t know how, because he looked just like us. Nothing about him seemed different until the day after his seventeenth birthday. I saw Garrett with him. I saw my brother with his boyfriend and I finally understood. Everything was crystal clear. All the times my brother went to school with a black eye or a bloody lip. The reason why there were presents under the Christmas tree, but why none of them had his name on them, only mine. The reason why he was never told the words ‘I love you’. It all made sense but at the same time it didn’t.”

Liam stroked my back as he cried, too. Why was he crying? He didn’t have anything to do with this!

“For a little while I thought Garrett hated me. My parents saw me and all they saw was perfection. I was a great student, kept my room clean, but most importantly; I got a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. When I was fifteen I brought a boy home for the first time. My parents looked at me with such adoration. They were so proud of me. Every time I did something right I was praised. If I did something wrong, they told me everybody makes mistakes. If Garrett messed up, he woke the next day with a new bruise. If he did something right, he was ignored.”

Liam tried to pull me into his arms, but I moved away.

“And you know what the worst part was?” I asked bitterly. “I let them.”

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