The New Kid.

He wasn't any other new kid. He had secrets. Secrets that had frightened me. He was mysterious. Almost scary. I saw his soft side. The side of him that I loved. And he wasn't like any other ordinary guy. "Im not going to let anyone hurt you." He was going to protect me. He was my protector. And I loved this terrifying man. Because he was Harry. Harry Styles.

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18. Chapter Eighteen

Not a day goes by that I think about Harry. 
I grab a journal and decide to write. Maybe I can express my feelings in writing. 
Sometimes I even write Harry notes. I feel like he reads them. 
I start to write an entry. 
"It's been about a month and Harry is still gone. Sometimes I beg God to bring him back. 
I still can't stand to remember that day. I don't talk to anyone. Emily never hangs out with me. 
I just miss him so much. He was my everything. And I can't stand to think his body is lying in the ground lifeless. Instead, he could be with me. 
I wear his clothes everyday. I take a piece of clothing and put it on.
It helps remember him better. I'm tired of everything.
I want to leave with Harry. 
Escape with him. Into paradise. 
Someday I will be with him. I just hope it's soon." 
I finish my entry and put the journal down. I walk downstairs of the empty house. 
Harry's mum calls me sometimes to ask if I'm okay. I lie. 
How can I be okay? 
I go outside looking at Harry's place.
I remember everything that has happened.
And yet, it's all gone. I hear laughing and I see Emily and Louis coming closer.
I tuck Harry's beanie down as it was about to fall off. 
"Skylar!" I keep walking. 
They catch up. "What?" I say with my low voice. They could both tell I was depressed. "Sky look. We all miss him. But sometimes you have to let it go." Emily says. 
"I can't let go. And I never will. He was the only one I loved. He was my love. You wouldn't understand because you didn't lose anyone." I say and turn back to keep walking. 
"Skylar all you do is lay in bed." 
"I can feel Harry with me. I can feel it." 
They both sigh and I keep walking. I look down at Harry's sweats. 
"I miss you, Harry." I say to myself quietly.
***
I arrive at the city Harry and I last walked at. This was the last place where we held hands. 
Why can't you come back, Harry? Nobody understands what I go through. It's hard to love without you. 
If you were here, I'd still be happy. 
I love you, Harry. You'll always be my love. My only love.
I immediately run back home. 
I try to slip past Emily and Louis. I succeed. I run back upstairs and decide to shower.
I think about Emily's words. "Sometimes you have to let go." 
Should I, Harry? Should I let go? 
I wish you'd answer Harry. 
I lay in the water of the tub. My knees touching my chin.
It's quiet. I miss hearing your voice. 
Nobody understands what I go through. 
I wish they did. 
He did this all just for peace between these two gangs. 
I climb out of the tub and dry off. It's late, so I sleep. I never stop thinking about you, Harry.
***
Everyone slowly stopped staring at me at school. 
I feel alone. Nobody likes to talk to me. I walk into the classroom sitting at the very back seat in the class. 
It goes by quickly. 
I hate school. I'm thinking about dropping out, like you Harry.
***
I grab my journal and begin once again.
"Harry, is it weird that I feel you reading this right now? I can feel your body beside me as you read this. I feel like you're protecting me. You always said you'd never stop protecting me. 
And you didn't lie. 
I love you. You're mine, right? I hope you're okay up there, Harry. I want to join you. I always do. Maybe I should.. Would you want me to? We can be together again. 
I guess I better stop. Mum says it isn't healthy. Nothing is healthy. 
I love you, Harry.
Love Always,
Skylar."
I shut the book and slide it in my drawer. 
I leave into a sleep, hoping I'd never wake up.
But I do. 
And another day without Harry, begins. 
--------------
Sorry for the WAAAY short chapter! I will make a longer one soon! Thanks for reading xx <333

 

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