Even If.

"You'd love me? Even if it's not you who I choose?" I whispered to him.
"Even if," he swore.


2. Two.

Song of the Chapter: Whole Wide World by Mindy Gledhill. Start playing the song when you read the # sign.


It was me.

I was walking through the crowded hallways of Wilmslow, snaking my way through people who looked like they were genuinely having a fun time with their friends, engaged in conversation and laughing at every other word, and here I was, alone. How fun. I felt heavier, like every step was a workout. I smiled at a few peole who I thought would smile back, though they didn't, and just avoided my eyes. I tried to ignore them, but maaaan that was uncool.

As I turned the corner, I saw them and I instantly felt overcome with fear and a desire to run away.

But it was hard not to notice me, being the fact that I was a stout, unconfident, freckled girl. To make it even worse, I felt glasses on the bridge of my nose. Great. I was fresh meat.

Luke Cramer made his way toward me, with his usual cronies walking behind him. I tried to turn around, but it turned out that one of them was behind me as well.

Double great.

"Where do you think you're going, Hefty?" Luke said behind me. Every fiber of my being was begging me to change my name, lose fifteen million pounds, move to the outskirts of Tailand, and go to massage school, but I had no other choice. I turned around, afraid that in an instant, the little bit of pride I had left would be beaten down until it ceased to exist.

"No- nowhere," I stuttered, avoiding his eyes.

"It looks like you've been putting on the pounds. Maybe tonight you should skip the dessert," Jake said from behind him and slapped my stomach.

"St--stop-p- it-t," I managed to get out, though the tears threatened to leave my eyes any second.

"But we were just getting started, chubby!" Mason said and they all laughed, as if it were the funniest thing on earth to be said.

"Actually, we do have to get running. You know, for the football game we have to practice for tonight," Luke said and the corner of his mouth curled into a mischievious smile.

"Yeah, I can't wait to get all that excersize. Heck, I might be able to lose a couple pounds! Maybe Beth should try that!" Parker chimed in. Everyone around me laughed. I felt so small with them all towering over me, acting as if I was 3 inches tall.

Suddenly, Luke grabbed my shoulders and slammed me against the lockers, each lock digging into my back, causing unbearable pain.

"You better be at that game tonight," He whispered through gritted teeth. Each word was like a dagger in me, and each pair of eyes belonging to the kids in the halls burned a hole through me.

As if he hadn't done enough, he snatched my glasses off my face and threw them to the ground.

"Now get lost, faggot."

Yep, there goes that last bit of pride.

After he left, the tears spilled out of my eyes.

"Beth," I heard a voice say. I don't recognize whose it is.

"Beth," the voice cooed again, and I was desperately looking throughout the halls to find the voice.

"BETH!" The voice said, snapping me awake.

The voice was Amanda. I was in the moving truck. It was only a dream.

But it wasn't just a dream; it was a memory.

"Are you okay?" Amanda asked skeptically, eyeing the tear streaming down my cheek. I quickly swiped it away and forced a smile.

"Yeah, sorry, just a bad dream," I laughed awkwardly. Amanda smiled quizzickly and got out of the car. Zeus whimpered, wanting to go out as well, so I followed her.

The first thing I saw was the tiny cottage I rented, and I was pleasantly surprised by how good it actually looked.

It was the epidomy of the 'cute little cottage in the woods' cottage and I liked the look of it. It was a small, square based front, with three steps up to the red door of the house. There were plants and vines snaking up the front of the house, making it look even more woodsy, and there was a tree in front of the house with limbs and branches that hung rather than just stuck out of the tree, making it look like a canopy.

I was so glad I started saving for a house when I was small. That's the only reason I could afford the place.

The clank of the moving truck's door hitting the top of the trunk is the sound that awoke me from my trance of admiring my house. I set Zeus down and let him play in the yard while I unloaded with Amanda.

We made up a little system where instead of putting everything in the house, we just set it in the front yard, which made the work following even tougher, since we had to pick everything back up again and move it into the house. There were literal towers of shabby brown colored boxes littering the lawn with the occasional furniture piece, like my bed. I even made Amanda take a picture of me on my bed in front of the house, surrounded by boxes. I told myself that I would post it later that night, because knowing me, once I went on Instagram, I wouldn't be able to get off of it.

Once we got the big furniture pieces that I otherwise couldn't have lifted on my own inside of my house, I paid Amanda and she was on her way, though I wish she could've stayed and helped me unpack.

The inside of the house was just as marvelous as the outside, and I was in awe that I could find a place like that in my own price range. The interior was shabby chic, with wood panel floors like the floor on Safe Haven that Katie painted yellow. The cottage had everything I needed. A bedroom, bathroom with a shower and running water, a small office which I would use as a music room, kitchen (with appliances that hadn't ever been updated since the building of the house), and a living room complete with a fireplace. Everything was small and quaint, but it was just to my liking.

I plugged my phone into my stray IHome that was on top of a box and played some music whilst I unpacked. Mindy Gledhill blasted through the speaker while I unpacked my new life.

I decided to unpack the kitchen first, because it's the kitchen and I practically live in the kitchen. Food is my baby.

It took about an hour to finish unpacking the kitchen utensils and tools, but the living room only took 15 minutes to do, considering it was only a crate full of blankets and a couch.

By that time, I was tired of unpacking, so I got my purse, called for Zeus, and decided to go into town to go grocery shopping at ASDA. As I walked outside, Zeus waddled next to me, excited for a walk.


It was about a ten minute walk to town, and I never complained, because I liked walking.

After a while, the scenery of my house faded behind me and I was in London. There was an ASDA on the outskirts of the city, but I already knew that if wanted to go shopping in the higher end, I'd have to get on The Tube and get to Central London, which was exactly the problem. I was wanting to check out the shops and the city tonight, but I could most definitely not with a big bag of groceries, meaning I would have to take two trips. How grand.

On my way to to the department store, I stumbled upon a place that would change my life completely. It was a cafe with a dim lighted, rock theme, named The Grind. That's not what interested me though, it was a sign on the window that interested me. It said:

Open Mics, all day, every day. Come as you are and rock on.

That sign got me thinking; I mean, one of the reasons I came to London was for my music career, right?

I then decided that tomorrow night, I would go to that open mic, and I would perform my best.

I then continued on.


I made my way through the isles with a basket on my arm, cutting off the circulation in my arm from the heaviness of my first shopping trip in London.

When I was about finished, I spotted a familiar face.

It was Alfie Deyes.

Of course, I'd never spoken to him in real life, though it always felt like I had, being the fact that I've watched all his videos.

But I couldn't just talk to him. What would I say? How about, "Hey Alfie, I'm Beth and you probably don't know me but I've watched all your videos and you're really funny and I feel like I've known you my whole life."

Yeah, right.

Lost in thought, I totally forgot I was walking straight towards an isle.

Of course, I ran into it, like the big spaz that I am, and boxes of biscuits came tumbling down from the shelf.

I could feel the eyes of other people burn into my back as I struggled to pick up some boxes. I even felt like Zeus was silently laughing at me.

"Need some help there?" A voice said from behind me. I knew without a doubt it was Alfie.

"Um.. yeah. There seemed to have been an isle there," I stammered as my cheeks grew pink.

Mental facepalm.

Could I have been bigger spaz?

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Alfie chuckled and helped me replace the boxes on the shelf.

When there were no more to be picked up, we both got up from the ground, and it was the first time I'd been able to get a good look at him.

It's not that I was starstruck or anything- he was a Youtuber just like me. I didn't have any romantic feelings towards him and I wasn't intimidated by him.

Then why was I acting so weird, you may ask?

Because I'm a spaz.

"Hey, I know you! You're CheshireCat, aren't you?" Alfie smiled.

"And you're PointlessBlog," I said, stating the obvious.

"And you're Zeus," he pointed to Zeus and patted him on the head. I laughed.

"You don't know how excited The Crew and I have been to meet you in person. You're hilarious," he said, saying The Crew like it was a sacred club or something.

"The Crew?" I stated quizzickly.

"Oh, you know, Me, Zoe, Jack, Finn, Caspar, Marcus, Louise, Dan, Sam, Joey, Joe.." he trailed off, knowing that I'd caught on.

"Ah yes, I know them," I smiled, even though I didn't know half of the people he'd mentioned. I wasn't one who watched a lot of Youtube, just someone who participated in it.

"You know, there is room for one more...." he said.

"Is there?" I laughed sarcastically.

"There's always room. I was thinking the initiation of that certain person could be tomorrow night?" he said hopefully. I remembered the vow I'd made earlier to go to The Grind tomorrow night.

"I actually had plans to go to The Grind tomorrow night," I stated sadly.

"The Grind? Isn't that a cafe down the street?"

"Yeah, they do open mics every night and I was hoping to sneak a cheeky little performance in. One of the reasons I moved to London was to move forward with my music career," I laughed.

"That's awesome. We could definetly do it another time, but that would make it so I would need your number," Alfie says confidently.

"Alfie Deyes, are you flirting with me?" I gasped.

We both laughed and exchanged numbers.

"I'll see you around then," I said.

"Yeah, hopefully you can get in the club soon. I'd love to hang out sometime," he said.

"I just have to get through initiation first," I remind him.

"Ah, yes. Initiation," he laughed.

"Bye Alfie," I smiled. He said goodbye and we went our own ways.

Zeus and I checked out and started home, with our six giant brown bags to carry..


Once I got home, I knew that I wouldn't be able to explore the city that night. There was just too much to do at home.

I put away the groceries and then started toward my bathroom, which needed to be deep cleaned.

I deep cleaned the bathroom while Ed Sheeran blasted through my speaker. Cause you know, Ed Sheeran and scrubbing toilets really go together.

Once the bathroom was cleaned, I lined up all of my necessary beauty products in the cabinet by the mirror. I looked over to the clock by the mirror to see that it was 8:30PM.

I was definitely not going out that night.

I made my way into the kitchen and explored the newly stocked cabinets I first made Zeus a bowl of dog food and then grabbed a box of Cheerios to make myself a bowl of cereal.

I settled myself at the counter with my cereal and my laptop, logging into my Twitter account as I sat down.

The first thing I saw was from Alfie.

"@PointlessBlogTv: Had a cheeky run-in with @Beth_Stark .... Big things are coming Stark..."

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