Darkness and love

Why am I here? Crying with my head on the wall typing on this stupid laptop. I feel so empty. One of those days I guess. Sometimes I wonder if my heart is actually beating and my lungs taking breaths. Why do tears taste like salt water when we drink pure water? I don't understand. I don't understand these feelings circling my mind. Are they circling or running wild? Sadness, despair and anger.

This is a story about a troubled girl wanting what she can never have... safety.


2. Chapter 2

I opened my eyes and blinked away the bright light. Pain was radiating from my wrists and my head. I let my eyes focus on my surroundings. I was in a room. Not any room I had ever seen in my life. It smelt something sweet and Joop. I closed my eyes and remembered cutting myself in church infront of jesus. Why am I not dead? Where am I? Didn't I cut deep enough? Questions were flying around in my head but I couldn't find a reasonable  answer for one of them let alone them all. I sat up fast and felt my head spin. I lowered myself onto the light sheets and turned my head. I saw a wardrobe with clothes ontop of it. Jeans, singlets, shirts and Bonds underwear. I took in the books on the bookshelf and saw many titles I always wanted to read. Most of them erotic novels. I was in a mans room. I felt exhausted. I let my eyes close again and all I could think of was how my parents were going to punish me. A broken rib from my dad and a huge talk from mum about how much she hated me, how much she wanted any other child no matter how stupid. I felt a tear slide down my cold cheeks and I let it fall. The tear dripped into my hair behind my ear. I heard a door open and I opened my eyes and bolted up right. My head spun and a tried steadying myself on shaky, sore arms. I saw a man, standing there in black flannelette pyjama pants, giving me full view of his toned, golden torso. His dark hair fell into his blue eyes and his jaw was set in a stubborn way. I felt like a child in front of this man. He looked like he was in his early 20's. His full lips tipped upwards slightly as he watched me appreciate his appearance then his face became impassive. His blue eyes became bluer with the fire raging beneath them. He closed the door and took a couple steps towards the bed. He clenched and unclenched his fists. His blue eyes gazed into my grey ones, which made me swallow nervously.

"What were you trying to do at the church in front of the son of god? Kill yourself?" He asked in a deep voice that made me swallow again, "If you try to kill yourself again, I swear I will kill you myself."

I felt my bottom lip quiver with fear. His fierce expression softened and he sat on the bed at my feet. He looked at his hands then looked back at me.

"I'm sorry, just imagine what I felt to seeing you lying on the ground in a pool of your own blood with Father William praying for you to live. I was terrified," He looked at his hands again then into my eyes again," Why did you do it? Cut yourself? Obviously it wasn't the first time," He looked at my wrists and I looked to.

My wrists were covered in thick bandages with some blood seeping through the material, showing that it is still bleeding. I looked back up at the man to see that he had his feet on the bed now and was studying me. I looked at my clothes and saw that I was in a shirt, with my bra and underwear on and that was it. I blushed and looked back up at the man.

"Arghhm, sir, did you put me in this shirt and you know," I lifted up my wrists and he laughed.

"Yes, Father William blushes over seeing any girl in minimal clothing and felt that it would be easier on you to see that I looked after you and not a 'old man'," He shot me a lazy grin and I was immediately charmed by him.

"Well, thank you sir for your hospitality but I ought to be on my way before my parents kill me," I went to get up off the bed and failed miserably.

The man scoffed at me and lowered me gently back onto the bed," You lost to much blood so you will have to stay here for a while… why did you so all that to yourself anyway? Bullying? Someone died that you loved? "

I looked up into his beautiful face and told him. I told him how my parents hate me and abuse me. I tell him the struggles of trying to get them to like me. I tell him everything. He nods and waited for me to finish my story. I felt lighter when I was done and the man looked troubled.

"Sir?" He looked at me and gave me a small smile.

" Call me Hunter, sir makes me sound old when I'm only 23 years old," He ginned and I smiled.

"I'm Honor," I yawned," Nice to meet you Hunter and thank you for your hospitality again."

He smiled and touched my forehead lightly which could of meant many things but I took it as a spark of growing affection.

"You must rest Honor, you need it," I yawned again and felt my bladder cry out.

"I need to pee," He laughed and pointed to a door.

I got up slowly and stumbled towards the bathroom. I started to sweat as I steadied myself on the wall and let my world spin around me. I closed my eyes and felt an arm circle my waist, walking me to the bathroom. I opened my eyes and smiled a grateful smile towards Hunter then walked towards the toilet. I sat onto the toilet, dropped my underwear and emptied my bladder. I felt my bladder sigh with relief. I finished, got up, washed my hands, flushed then made my way out of the bathroom. I stopped in the doorway, leaning against it as I watched Hunter fix his bed for me to get back in. I yawned again and closed my eyes. I was exhausted. Everything was so… tiring. I felt arms wrap around my back and under my knees, took a couple steps towards the bed then put me in the bed. I opened my eyes to see Hunter lifting the blankets to my chin, avoiding looking at my bare legs. I closed my eyes and yawned, turned onto my side.

"Thank you," I murmured then let sleep take over me again.

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