When she cries

She screamed and slammed the door. Voices kept whispering just die already. It felt like someone just threw a brick at her. Her head kept pounding. While she crashed down the ground started moving. The eyes, the pain. Everything I had done. Every single thing. Then there's nothing. No sounds, no voices only her reflection in the mirror staring at her while the last tear dropped down onto the floor.


5. Ana

In my room I started thinking again, not a bad kind of thinking but a nice kind of. Ana was still yelling at me because I had dinner. She demanded me to go for a run but it was pitch black outside. I wasn't in the mood either so I tried to not pay attention to her. I would have loved to be able to put duck-tape over her mouth and just make her shut up, but I knew I couldn't. So I layed down on the bed and hugged with my giraffe for a bit. I even started stroking it, when I thought about what I was doing I started laughing. Ana was laughing to by the time she saw what I was doing. Only that she was laughing bothered me, because it was a mean laugh.


I tried I really did try to get rid of her, I mean of Ana. But the thoughts of what I could be where just to strong. If I thought about being here, walking and breathing I could not imagine it without her. She was everything I needed and everything I would ever want. But I also didn't want to have it. So I kept her just to keep my mind clear and my body happy. It wasn't the best decision I ever made, but it was one of the few I made by myself, without others. Just herself, her own mind. No one else.


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