When she cries

She screamed and slammed the door. Voices kept whispering just die already. It felt like someone just threw a brick at her. Her head kept pounding. While she crashed down the ground started moving. The eyes, the pain. Everything I had done. Every single thing. Then there's nothing. No sounds, no voices only her reflection in the mirror staring at her while the last tear dropped down onto the floor.


1. Running

She backed away from the car and turned. Faster as usual she started running. Music on thoughts off, that's how she did it. While she was running she thought of what happened today.

"slow down, we need to slow down." she whispered to herself.

She was on the other side of town already. Quickly she swiped the few drops of sweat of her forehead. Her back started to get sticky of all the sweat dripping down.

"How long have I been running already?" she thought.

 It was worth it as long as she got her perfection. It hurted so much. Stay strong and think thin was what she used to say. After a while her motto slowly faithed away, along with her soul.

She started running a bit slower.

"I did this" she said while looking around.

She looked at the burned trees and remembered the night she got so sad and had enough of cutting through her skin and playing with lightners. Her face turned white, like a ghost. Outside without a meaning. She had no regrets. It's what it deserved, the trees where she used to be when she was happy. They took her happyness away.

She stopped. "No............."

People where walking past her. She felt their stare. It hurted.

"What's wrong with her?" one of them asked.

Her eyes turned red. Tears started boiling up again. "No.....why?" she asked. She walked for a bit and then started running again while the tears were still streaming down her face. "NO, i'm okay"

As soon as she got home she looked in the mirrow. Her eyes were blood red and her cheeks were covered in tears. "I'm okay." She knew she was lying to herself but she wanted to believe it. She wanted to believe that it would be okay.

Quietly she walked to her room and fell onto her bed. Her parents didn't need to know she was at home. She didn't want to explain, only cry. And so she did. 

She stayed there for a while and heard the front door close 'Dad's home' was the first thing she thought. She stood up and whipped her tears away. 'I wasn't crying, I'm happy. I'm okay' she whispered to comfort herself. After that she left her room and walked down the stairs.

"Hey dad."

"Heey Emily." her dad said smiling, "How was school?"

 She puts up her fake smile: "School was fun, I went for a run afterwards"

"That's nice"

They smiled at each other and walked each a different way.

"This was our conversation for today and tomorrow. I will go away soon and I'm not sure if I get back." Tears boiled up while she whispered this to herself, be she would not break. She wouldn't cry cause of something like that. It was her own choice.

She lied down in her bed and grabbed her stuffed animal. It was a soft giraffe. She was holding it tight against her body "You're the only one I can trust...you and Ana are my best friends. You're always there for me in times like this..." a tear fell down and she looked beside her and laughed. Tear started pouring down but it weren't tears of pain. It were tears of happiness. "I'm okay, it's going to be just fine. Accidents happen when you go away, don't they? I wasn't planning on coming back anyway". While she said this she fell asleep. A peacefull long sleep.

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