But If I Close My Eyes

The cruel reality of people at war with one another. Based on the song '"Pompeii" by Bastille. A story for the 'Inspired By A Song' competition. This is the views of the singers lyrics (being a young males views of a battlefield) All the harsh goings on that occur to those fighting for our country.
-loss of friends, family, and home
There is only one way to stop this suffering! Read on to find out how...

(please let me know what you think of this story)


1. But If I Close My Eyes

I wake up again within a deep dark trench. The stench of rotting corpses fill my nose as I breath in the only air I've known for weeks now. I sigh and get up off of my scratchy straw bed all covered in filth. It has been used by many diseased members of the army in the past. I have to resume my job as a soldier. It's either kill, or be killed... I look in the corner of the damp murky trench to see a plague of rats scuttering around. The rats were the size of a domestic cat, with sharp razor-like teeth and devilish black sunken eyes. These god forsaken creatures should be avoided by all means. There is no cure for the plague. I left quickly to avoid a fight with one of those monsters. I stood with the other early risers. The officer in charge was shouting orders to everyone as usual. As soon as he had given his word, everyone, including myself, clambered awkwardly up the slippery trench walls to the surface.

The outside world was no improvement.  Seeing the darkened world I used to call my home town is an absolute shock to me every time I leave the trench. I just want to curl up into a ball, close my eyes and hope that all of this will go away, and it will just be one big bad dream. But that isn't likely. Every time I have to shoot at the enemy I have a surge of power as I can kill, without being told not to do so. But.. I also feel ashamed of my actions and the feeling of excitement I get as I am fighting for my country. I know the enemy will kill me if I don't kill them. But I can't help thinking that I am in the wrong. After all, I am destroying God's creations as he gave us all life. But then again... he also gave us free will. But I hate feeling like I have a great sin weighing down upon me every time I put a bullet through the enemy head. As they drop to the floor lifeless I regret every trigger I pull back. I feel like I am definitely now locked out of heaven. I am probably falling further down my way to hell most likely. The great darkness around me... All the dust and rubble of my sins.

Due to this ridiculous war I have lost the city I love. My home is nothing but a pile of rubble since this blasted war. I just want to cry out and stop this war. But what can one person do? Nothing! I just have to kill and suffer. I lose my train of thought when I hear a distant roaring from beyond the hills. Normally hills would be covered in green grass... But no. These hills were blackened with the smoke in the air from burning buildings. The oxygen had been cut off so the grass had become a deadly brown zone of death and suffering. I look up in horror as I see a pack of vicious planes soaring over the hills like they own the skies. They began to drop their load upon the city I call home. Large bombs whistled as if screaming their warnings to the ones below. As they crashed to the ground their contents erupted and they exploded, sending rubble flying in all different directions.

All I can see is buildings blowing up around me. All I can hear is the screams of agony from my fellow men. Humankind should be at one with one another, but instead we are at war. How long does this pain have to go on?! I realized my best friend was no longer at my side. I began searching for him. Crying out his name and silently praying to God that he was alive and well. I found him under a large piece of rubble. He was groaning in pain as he reached his hand out to me as if silently begging for help. I took his hand as a tear from my eyes dripped onto his cheek. As I watched my best friend die I cried out into the darkness around me. I felt trapped, enclosed in a world of torture. There was no way out of this nightmare. I looked up to the black sky full of toxins polluting the air. Mushroom shaped clouds were erupting into the air, getting bigger as they travelled onward and upward. Grey clouds rolled over the hills bringing darkness from above.

But if I close my eyes I can open them again to be transported back to reality. All was just a dream as I leap up out of my bed with the shock of my experience within the dream world. Even though I'm awake now, it still feels like nothing has changed at all. We are still at war all over the world, and there is nothing one person like me can do about it. It takes teamwork in order to get a job done. Dreaming in such detail makes it seem like I've almost been there before. It feels like I've been at war, killing my own kind, and watching the city I love and the friends I hold close, obliterated before me. My dreams seem so real that I could have sworn I had been at war before. Or maybe I'm just at war with myself. Just simply battling my feelings on the concept of the suffering around the world in everyday life. It's almost like I'm predicting the future. My dreams are a premonition of the near future that is tumbling my way. The cruel reality is the fact that we are at war with others, as well as ourselves all the time, all over the world. I don't mean to be an optimist about it, but I really do feel like what I dream will eventually occur in the future. But I do nothing to try and prevent the future from happening because I am one person. In order to fight war itself, we must all come together and unite as one.

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