The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*


8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7


March 14. 

That was the first thing that came to mind when I woke up at 4 in the morning. My heart tightened and pulled and my stomach dropped to the floor and underneath the earth. 

I had this whole day planned. I had everything planned for her. For her birthday. For Elise's birthday. 

I was going to bring her to take her to dinner in Paris on top of the Eiffel Tower. There was going to be fireworks and peanut butter. She loved peanut butter. I had it all planned out for her. Every single minute of that day.

I ripped off the covers from my body, seething as the anger coursed through my veins. Everything was planned out. I was excited for this day. She would've been so happy. It was all she ever wanted. 

Suddenly sadness washed over me. It was all she ever wanted. That was what she told me. It was all she ever wanted. She had a genuine look in her eyes when she told me. It was all she ever wanted. 

I got off my bed, running a hand down my face. My heart pushed and pulled and writhed in my chest. It dropped down to my feet. The pain flashed everywhere. The pain of everything. 

I walked into the kitchen, opening up the fridge. I searched through the bottles and glass but didn't find what I was looking for. Damn it, Ali was here recently. 

I put on a pair of pants and a hoodie and grabbed the keys. It was 4 in the morning but I needed it. Badly. 

I drove to a quality 24-hour liquor store 20 minutes away from my apartment. I filled a whole trolley of booze. Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, vodkas, tequilas, rum, whisky, six-packs, eight-packs... anything I could grab. I payed the $287 for it all as the cashier gave me a worried look which I ignored. 

I needed to drown my sorrows and wallow in self pity. 

I got back to my apartment and ripped open the first bottle I could grab which happened to be a bottle of tequila. I downed half of the bottle before I even got to the door. The liquid burned my throat that somehow felt good. I downed the other half as I dropped onto the couch. 

By the time it was 8, I've already gone through 2 bottles of tequila, three cans of beer and a bottle of whisky. My throat was burning and my stomach was churning and my head was woozy. Really, really woozy. 

It was all she ever wanted. 

I growled to myself and flipped the wooden coffee table over. Magazines, papers, envelopes and remotes sprawled all over the floor. 

It was all she ever wanted. 

The hot wet tears streamed down my face as i punch a hole in the wall. 

It was all she ever wanted. 

I threw the cushions of the sofa in different directions of the room. They hit windows and tvs and cd racks. 

It was all she ever wanted. 

I threw down the other cd racks and took a long swig of the rum in my hand. 

It was all she ever wanted. 

I yelled loudly. Screaming as threw a glass to the wall. I screamed as I punched the mirror hanging in the hallway. 

It was all she ever wanted. 

"Liam!" I heard a voice scream from the doorway. I turned to find Harry and Zayn there with worried expressions. 

"What are you doing?" Zayn asked softly. 

"It was all she ever wanted!" I screamed as I lobbed a book to the wall beside the door. 

"Liam?" Harry asked. 

"It's her birthday, Harry. I knew what she wanted." I sobbed as I threw another book to the wall. 

"Stop it!" Zayn yelled. 

"Why should I!? Why should I stop!? I'm hurting, okay!" I threw the bottle of rum to the wall and it shattered to pieces. 

"Liam, stop." Harry said sternly. 

"No!" I said defiantly. I grabbed another bottle, not even bother looking at what it was. I just needed that searing pain down my throat, numbing my insides and dulling the pain in my heart and my head. I downed most of the bottle as I watched Zayn whisper in Harry's ear through blurry eyes. I didn't think much of it as I punched the wall again and again until my knuckles bled. 

I drank more bottles of alcohol. My stomach suddenly turning inside out as I ran to the bathroom. I threw up everything that was in my stomach and I groaned. I threw up two more times before finally getting up and taking some Advil. 

My whole body was numb so was my feelings and emotions. My throat still burned from the booze but also the vomit that came spewing out. I paced the living room waiting for the pills to kick in. I threw more of the things in the living room. 

It was all she ever wanted. 

I yelled again, ignoring the pounding of my head, and punched the wall some more. My knuckles bled red blood. 

"Liam?" A familiar voice said quietly from the doorway. I spun around to see Ruby, in white skinny jeans and red sleevless blouse with red ankle boots. 

"Ruby? What are you doing here?" I slurred. 

"Your friend... Zayn?" She asked but didn't wait for an answer. "He called using your phone saying that you need me."

"I don't need anyone." I said through gritted teeth, turning my anger towards Zayn. 

"Obviously you do since you tore your apartment apart and ripped your knuckles open." She countered, treading carefully in the remains if my war zone. 

"I don't want you here." I growled at her. 

Her eyes flashed with hurt for a second before she blinked it away. "Look, Liam, you look like you're hurting and I just want to be here for you."

My face softened a little. "Ruby, I can't." The tears started to fall from my stinging eyes. 

"Oh, Liam." She whispered as she walked forward. 

"It was all she ever wanted." I sobbed as i fell onto my knees. 

She dropped down to hers and hugged my frail body. I sobbed onto her shoulder, every part of my falling apart and breaking down. 

Everything was planned. I knew exactly what she wanted. It was all she ever wanted. 

I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed into her shoulder. She didn't say a word as she stroked through my hair as if understanding exactly how I feel. We stayed there, her arms wrapped around my neck as I cried into her shoulder. 

"Liam..." She whispered. 

"She..." I started but I couldn't finish as a fresh wave of tears came. 

"Liam." She said again, forcing my head up. "It's okay."

"No because it hurts." I sobbed. 

She hugged me tightly again and I knew that I had to explain to her why I was like this. Why there was so many holes in the wall. Why everything was turned upside down and sprawled all over the floor. Why i was crying hard into her shoulder as I repeated the same line over and over again. 

I knew I had to explain everything but right now, all I can do is bask in her presence that seemed to be comforting me slowly. 





Very emotional, I know.


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