missing a piece

this isnt really a book, its more like a diary with the dear diary. i have been through shit, and ive talked to ppl about it, but i dunno something made me feel as if, if i posted it, it might also help those who read it going through similar things. some passages or entries end with questions, and it would be AWESOME if you answered, i am also willing to answer questions for you or give advice. i love helping others and stuff, so you can probs comment a question or problem and if i can ill answer. thnx :D hope this helps anyone in any way/

ps this can be abit personal, but i dont mind. :)





Every now and then I would stand infront of a mirror and ask myself a few questions. Some i cant even answer. Some I can't google. I would look at myself and ask who am I? Why am I alive? When will my time come? Where will everything sets place? I don't know when I leave, where it happens or how it will happen. But one thing i should know is... Who the hell am I?... But I don't know. I don't know why I am alive, Why I am so unlucky when it comes to telling some one how I feel. But I know, I am hiding in the back corner, scared that everytime I say something..someone is judging me. I'm scared that if I be myself, no one will accept me for who I am... But thats what i feel now. I feel that every where I go, I'm judged or unwanted. When I talk to someone online, I feel as if they are only talking to me because they don't wanna be mean. But in reality it is just a fear, many are scared of...but the main question is..Who am I? A girl who is scared, but is crazy and wild at heart? A girl, dying to be her self? a girl who is crazy, annoying, stupid, idiotic, INSANE, happy, strong but scared, sad and weak? I DONT KNOW, and I have a feeling, I'm not gonna know until, I am that old granny, sitting on her rocky chair, reflecting her past..But until then I'm gonna live my life and try to not let it get to me. 


guys if any of you don't have a clue who you are dont let it get to you. however if you know your being someone else to fit in, IT IS WRONG. i know beause thats me. i have like so many me's, the home me, school me, public me, me with my crush ;) , me alone and so many more. but the only me i like is me me ( me alone) coz im my self. for those who were themselves before something happened, and changed, it was a mistake. coz u loose alot more than u gain, also you miss out on alot, but if you think that the changed you was better, then who am i to say no its wrong, coz for some its write.

i know things change, people change, but dont change in a way that would affect your relationship with your frends. after all, a friend to all..is a friend to none.

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