missing a piece

this isnt really a book, its more like a diary with the dear diary. i have been through shit, and ive talked to ppl about it, but i dunno something made me feel as if, if i posted it, it might also help those who read it going through similar things. some passages or entries end with questions, and it would be AWESOME if you answered, i am also willing to answer questions for you or give advice. i love helping others and stuff, so you can probs comment a question or problem and if i can ill answer. thnx :D hope this helps anyone in any way/

ps this can be abit personal, but i dont mind. :)




life doesnt always go the way you wanted. 

my fantasy is soo different, yet so similar to my reality. i imagined life to be simple yet challenging. im a girl who cant fall for guys easily...but once i do..ive fallen and cant rise back up easily. i have liked a guy for like four years...and i hate it because i cant rise back up...i cant get over him easily...and then he decides to make it harder for me by asking me who i like....for three days in a row he asked till he got it out of me......something i realized for me is that....if ive liked a guy for so long, its possible that i may be in love with that person...and its true...i am. 

he is one of the reasons for there to be a smile on my face..but he is also the reason for me to cry...tear up...hate my self...feel weak....but hes also the reason why im strong... feel happy and i dunno.

i once watched a movie.... its was one of the movies that taught me so much about love... it said..that god made each one of us...and our hearts, are in half. each person holds a a half to anothers heart...and when they meet...their hearts are one.....another thing it taught me was that some where... some one....is made just for you.

i didnt know what they meant at first but i slowly realized. i dont why the hell i stayed...why the hell i just dont give up and try harder to move on...but i cant. i cant move on so easily. i just wish..that god would take my side for once. take the side of those going through same hell as i am, or more. but for some reason...god doesnt tend to those going through hell easily...but those who already made it through hell. :( 

life ey?



A/N..  sorry but i felt like writing my feelings out... i felt shit and just felt as if you know there might be ppl going through the same hell as me


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