The way I am

Its all fun and game until... It's not
When you have no life left no parents no possession no one that loves you what do you do.


3. chapter 3

when i was 3 my dad died in Iraq hit by a stray bullet is what they said my mum said and i quote 'lazy gits don't want to put their own asses in harms way to find out the truth' I've got to say i agree. After that my mum had a break down and was hospitalised i had no other living relatives so into foster care i went from what i remember it was nice i was put with a family who had a little girl my age we played tea parties and went on picnics i was there for about 7 months i had my 4th birthday there. I was happy. Then the doctors declared my mum 'all better now' and back to her went I. Then 3 years later my mum got a new boyfriend Carl all they did was have sex. On the couch, in the garden in the hall and most disturbingly on the kitchen table. I'd seen enough of my mums boyfriend to know exactly what was going on i was quite pleased with my self back then for being the only one in my class that new. Then one night when i was 9 my mum and Carl came home drunk of their asses my mum went to bed.

I Came downstairs in the middle of the night to get a drink of water when i came across carl sitting at the dinner table rolling cigarettes. (Back then i couldn't understand why it was such a big deal now looking back he was smoking weed in my kitchen.)

Higher than a kite and too drunk to walk in a straight line carl took it upon him self to  teach me a lesson he picked me up and flung me against a wall he winded me and made sure i was black and blue. He then picked me up and locked me in the shed. 3 days passed i was lucky that in the shed we had one of those water collectors but i was hungry as hell. then one day he came in carrying a pair of hand cuffs and a 3 litre bottle of water. He told me to raise my hands and put one arm either side of the metal bar behind me; he slipped the cuffs on my hands and stroked the side of my face

"shhhh shhhh"

"I want mummy" I cried I wailed I pleaded but he just looked amused like it was all one big game  he unscrewed the  lid on the  bottle of water, he squeezed my nose, my mouth gaped open as I gasped for breath and he dribbled some water into my mouth then it became a steady stream I began coughing and spluttering he laughed at me and walked out.

I was kept in that cold damp shed  for a week. On the last day of my stay in 'casa de hell shack' was by far the worst... that was the day he raped me but when he was done with me he decided I was thirsty after our little play date. But this time he was too excited and went to far I choked on the water. I coughed too much I started coughing up blood and passed out.                                            They had too call an ambulance I stayed in the kids wing for 2 weeks most of that was because they didn't want my mother to have me back.

The police were called; I was put in the system as a rape victim my mums boyfriend was jailed for statutory rape on a minor and assault.

I went home and was back in hospital a week later with a broken leg. My mother had been drunk she said her crappy life was my fault. I told her it was her rapist's boyfriends fault. She pushed me down  a flight of stairs

Foster Care part 2...

And yet 5 years later at 14 I went back to live with my mum and boyfriend number 11... wait no husband number 2 and step-brother number 1. Daddy Kyle and Brother Dane.

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