I don't want to be yours. I don't want to be anybodies. I want to be me. I want to be Boston. I want to forget about the past and live my life. I want to be noticed but unnoticed by you. Leave me alone, Liam, because this time we really will kill each other. Don't try and find me, because I don't want my memories to haunt me like they happened yesterday. Like Hollywood says, two celebrities never make it out alive. And we are the perfect example.


14. you weren't meant to hear that

"You're taking this very calmly, aren't you?" 

I looked up from my tea and towards Louis. "What?" 

"Last night. You've left your balcony doors open," he smiled as he placed a tea bag in his mug and filled it with hot water. 

"Oh," I felt my face gone hot. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's fine. But what got Harry and I wondering last night was how you let Liam in so fast."

I leaned forward onto the counter. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Boston. You were raped and you just let Liam fuck you within a couple of hours?" 

"Louis," I started. "You don't understand--."

"No, I don't, but usually girls are devastated after what happened to you. So what happened to you? What made you not care anymore?" 

I breathed in slowly. "I've washed those memories from my mind. They're nothing to me anymore."

"Really? Well if they don't affect you then how did it happen?" 

"I was fourteen," I began. "My first music festival. I was given a date rape drug and then when he carried me to his car, the police stopped him. They asked what was wrong with me and told them I drank to much. He told them he was taking me back to my group, but in reality he was taking me somewhere far worse. He had this huge van with the seats cut out in the center. All I could do was lay there. He tore my clothing off me and I felt everything. How he broke my virginity, abused me." The tears started to form in my eyes. "All I did was watch his eyes as they grew hungry. My own tears streaming down my face as he whispered to me not to cry. He would then wipe my tears as he thrust hard and fast."

"Boston," I heard Louis say as I covered my mouth, trying not to make my crying any louder. 

He wrapped his arms around me, smoothing his hand down my back. 

"I was raped three more times after that--."

"You were a virgin." It was a new voice. We both looked at the doorway and saw Liam. Disheveled, broken, and tired. "I was sure of it." He spoke slowly. 

"Liam," I said as I walked towards him, but he held his hand up in front of him. 

"Stop," he warned. "You never told me this. I thought I was your first. You were unbelievably tight--."

"I was sixteen the last time it happened. It was part of my past, Liam. I didn't want anyone affected by it." 

"You still should've told me."

"It's not something I normally tell people--."

"Stop lying to me!" 

I looked everywhere but him as my hands turned to fists. "Liam you were my first. You were the one to take my virginity. Never them."

"How long where you gonna keep it from me?" 

"As long as I could. You don't deserve to know about my past." 

"Stop it! Stop it!" 

He turned around and I heard his feet run up the stairs. I followed him and soon a slammed door was in front of me. The sound of metal hitting the sink.

"Don't do this, Liam!" I slammed my fists against the wood door. "Don't you fucking dare!" 

I stopped for a second, the sound from the other side of the door was numb. I placed my back against it, the tears refilling my eyes. I slid down the wall and tightened my knees to my chest. 

Waiting for the moment when I would feel the blood drip from his wrists. 

Once again.

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