I don't want to be yours. I don't want to be anybodies. I want to be me. I want to be Boston. I want to forget about the past and live my life. I want to be noticed but unnoticed by you. Leave me alone, Liam, because this time we really will kill each other. Don't try and find me, because I don't want my memories to haunt me like they happened yesterday. Like Hollywood says, two celebrities never make it out alive. And we are the perfect example.


8. to the moon and back

I sat on the couch, watching up at the television. "Your mum really likes BBC."

I heard her laugh from the kitchen. "You have no fucking idea." 

Her mother was still outside caring for the elephants. Harry and Louis were with her. I was still pissed at the both of them, but we are trying to work something out. 

"I never thought you were a fan of Doctor Who," said Bo as she entered the living room. She placed two filled glasses of some drink on the coffee table before lifting her long maxi skirt past her knees so she could straddle me. It was warm outside but yet she chose to wear long sleeves. 

"Are you cold?" 

She shrugged. "It comes and goes."

I narrowed my eyes. She was lying to me and she knew I was catching her in her own lie. I placed my hand over her arm. 

"Liam," she started, but I ignored her. 

I held onto her fingers as I pushed back the sleeves of her light sweater. I exhaled. 

There they were, staring back at me. The lines, the red thick, deep lines. 

"How long?" I asked her. 

She gave into me. "Four years. The day after I left London." 

I was growing frustrated. "Why?"

"It made the pain go away," she mumbled. "It doesn't matter."

"The fuck it doesn't matter." I reached at the bottom of her shirt and started to pull up.

"Liam, stop," she muttered.

I pulled to roughly, taking the sweater right off her. She wasn't wearing a bra, but I saw the goosebumps raise all over her skin. She pulled her long hair forward, covering her breasts, gracing around her bellybutton. 

My eyes ran along her torso. Cuts wrapped all over her arms, down her sides. 

Why didn't I see this last night or this morning. 

"Liam, don't be mad."

"I'm mad at myself. You're doing exactly what I didn't want you to do. I can't believe I overlooked this last night." 

"Don't worry about it."

"Don't tell me not to worry. Boston, I--I don't know. Just I'm so so sorry." 

"Don't be sorry, either." She was still straddling me her hands creeping up my neck. "I did this to myself." 

"J--Just please, please promise me you will stop." I looked up at her. "I'll give you another distraction." 

"It better be a good distraction," she whispered. 

"It is," I muttered huskily. I placed my lips in between her breasts and kissed slowly. Letting my lips create the love. Her fingers moved to my hair as I ran my tongue up, pulling her closer to me as I kissed the spot right below her ear. 

"You'll have to do better than that," she mumbled. 

I growled into her skin before picking her up and putting her down onto the couch. I ran fingers over her as I lay on top of her. Her neck arched forward as I sucked onto her skin. She was delicate, her skin so soft. I just wanted to make her mine, not let another person touch her. 

Her legs were around my hips, the heels of her feet dipping into my lower spine. She gripped roughly on my hair as I sucked hard. I knew I was going to leave purple bruised skin. Nothing like that matter though, it was just her and the more she moaned and tugged on my hair the more I wanted to bite. 

I bit down gently, her moans getting louder and the goosebumps rose on her skin. My hand cupped her breast, squeezing gently. She was whispering my name quickly from her lips. Her breathing was fast, her heart slamming against her chest. 

"Fuck," she breathed. 

I stopped and looked up at her through my eyelashes. A smile was over her lips. 

"That was the first time," she mumbled. "I--I've ever climaxed just by kissing my neck."

I placed butterfly kisses along her jawline until her eyes looked directly up into mine. "I can make you reach levels you've never reached before. You just need to give me the chance." 

"Well," she was catching her breath. "You can do that to me again whenever you want."

I chuckled. "You're beautiful."

Her bottom lip dropped, her skin grew a little redder from her blush. "I don't see what you see in me."

"I see everything in you. My future, my life, my everything. I love you, Boston. I want you to know that no matter how many times we yell or piss each other off I will still love you. I love you to the moon and back." 

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