I don't want to be yours. I don't want to be anybodies. I want to be me. I want to be Boston. I want to forget about the past and live my life. I want to be noticed but unnoticed by you. Leave me alone, Liam, because this time we really will kill each other. Don't try and find me, because I don't want my memories to haunt me like they happened yesterday. Like Hollywood says, two celebrities never make it out alive. And we are the perfect example.


29. sweater weather

"Mom, I can't do this," I sat sobbing in the corner of my bedroom. It was the only place they couldn't find me. 

"Boston, you need to call him. He can take care of this--."

"No! He'll only make it worse."

Shee crouched down in front of me and smoothed her hand over my hair. I haven't taken a shower in days, I probably haven't eaten in days either. 

"He can't be here anyways…." I mumbled off my sentence. "The world doesn't even want us together."


"I need to get into the States," I said as I rushed through the door and didn't even wait for a welcome. Because I wasn't welcome. He was in a meeting, and I just walked right in. 

"Hello, Liam," he said to me, clearly irritated. "Would you like to talk in private?"

"No, here is good." My hands have clenched into fists. "I need to get into the States," I repeated. "Today." 

"Liam, your passport is suspended."

"I don't care, I don't care how you do either. But I'm not going to let what happened to Danielle, happen to Boston. And if you won't help me, I will swim, run, and probably get arrested to get to her. No one will stop me."

A smile slowly appeared on his lips. "There's the Liam I remember. Willing to do whatever to save someone he's love. I'll help you, Liam, but we need to be quiet about it." 


"My private jet is outside," he said to me. "I need a holiday anyways."

"I don't get it." 

"You don't have too. I'm going with you."

"What? Why?"

"Someone needs to watch Harry over in California. I'm sure Louis will be there soon, but you never know what the kid is gonna do." 

"He isn't like the Harry from X Factor."

"No," he exhaled. "He's worse. He comes to me and tells me of different methods. Different ways."

"What are you saying? What has he told you?" 

He shook his head, "It doesn't matter, just let it go. Now come on, we need to get out of here." 


"Boston, I'm calling your father. This is ridiculous. There must be hundreds out there." 

"No," I muttered, my head falling against the wall. "He won't be able to do anything. Mom, I need him. I need him here." 

"Okay," she nodded and then she left my room. 

I shuddered, has it gotten that cold? Or is it because I'm missing a piece of myself, lost in a crowd, somewhere in England. 

I let my eyes drift close, bringing my knees close to my chest. Trying my hardest to focus it all out and return to the memories of Tomorrowland. Relive the journey that brought me here, the journey I'm still living today. 


"Boston! Boston!" The shouting woke me. It was coming from the crowd outside. What more did they want? 

I've given them everything I could muster. I was used, I was done, I was no more. I had nothing else to give, but they keep begging for more. I couldn't handle this, how could anyone handle their name being called for hours on end? 

I needed it too stop. It had to stop…now. I could feel my eardrums bursting from my name being repeated so many times, I just wanted it to all go away. I know what would make it go away. Just a few minutes of silence. 

I used the wall to help myself up. My oversized sweater touching the creases in the back of my knees. I went into my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I was so pale, my lips close to a purple. My mascara was running down my face from all the crying I went through earlier in the day. 

I inhaled. I exhaled. I pulled open a drawer and reached for the shiny silver little piece of metal the would make everything numb just for a little while. 

But they wanted a show. They wanted me

So I held the sliver in between my index finger and thumb. I went to the balcony, I opened the glass door and in seconds I was illuminated with the flashes of their cameras. I was greeted by the coldness of the almost night sky and the shouts of hundreds. 

"Shh," I brought my finger up to my lips. 

"What does she have?!" One of them shouted. 

"Is…Is that a razor blade?!" Another shouted. 

I pulled the sleeve of my right arm up, having the cold wrap around it, sending chills everywhere. I could feel the metal get closer, I watched the faces of the people below change. They didn't know what to do, but didn't they want this? Something to put their newspapers and magazines? 

Fine, I would give it to them. Just as long as they be quiet, and stop shouting for me. 

I just wanted silence, a world without me was how it was achieved. No one would call my name if I wasn't here to be called. 

Yes, this was right. 


I heard it from behind me. The tip of the blade already injected and oozing blood. I felt something wrap around my waist and pull me inside. The door closed next and I turned to see him. 

"Liam," I cried as he pulled me into his chest. I felt his fingers wrap around the blade and then the drop of it to the hardwood floor. 

"No more," he whispered. 

"Please," I sobbed into his sweater. "Please don't ever leave me again. I can't handle that, not without you." 

"Shh," he soothed. "I'm not going anywhere." 

I pulled myself away just a little and looked up at him. "We'll go to prison."

"No, no one is going to prison, because they'll never find us." 

"What do you mean?"

"Just like what Simon did for Harry and Louis, we will go into hiding. Arrangements are being made and we'll be leaving by the end of the week. I've looked at a few places, and I think I might've found it."


"You don't need to worry about that. I love you so much, Bo. You're my world, my everything and I won't let anything happen to you. And I most certainly will not leave you out of my sight." 

"Boston! Liam--oh." It was my mother. "I guess you already know. You deserve to have some alone time. They're leaving outside, Simon called security to protect the house. He's here--."

"Simon's here?" I ask him.

"Yeah, he has to watch over Harry. He hasn't been in his right mind lately, and he hasn't been telling Louis about it."

I looked down, was everyone falling apart? 

"Hey," he muttered. "Hey, hey, hey, you need to stop this," he smiled as he crouched down, looking up at me. "The others are okay, but are you okay?"

I took a second before I shook my head, "No."

"What can I do?" 

"Love me," I whispered. 

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