I don't want to be yours. I don't want to be anybodies. I want to be me. I want to be Boston. I want to forget about the past and live my life. I want to be noticed but unnoticed by you. Leave me alone, Liam, because this time we really will kill each other. Don't try and find me, because I don't want my memories to haunt me like they happened yesterday. Like Hollywood says, two celebrities never make it out alive. And we are the perfect example.


24. forget the tour/they'll never know

"Bo. Bo," I heard Liam say beside me. I woke up back in Liam's hotel bed. "We need to go."

I opened my eyes slightly and looked at him, "What? How did we get back here?"

"You fell asleep so I brought you back. You looked too peaceful to wake up."

I exhale at the irony. "So you wake me up now?" 

"We need to go or we're gonna miss our plane."

"What?" I asked again as I sat up. "Liam what are you doing?" 

"Just get ready," he smiled towards me as he got up off the bed. 

"What about the tour? The guys?" 

He stopped for a second and looked back at me. His bare back, his muscles tensing, the little freckles touching his neck and shoulders and then reaching his spine. "Forget the tour," he spoke and then reached for a tee shirt and pulled it over his head. "Our plane leaves in an hour, we should probably get going."


Liam and I were wearing dark sunglasses. I had a black hat covering my head and Liam was wearing a snapback. Eric was following us as we walked towards the gate. I still had no idea where I was going, I just walked. Quickly. I had to almost run with Liam's fast pace. 

When we got to the gate Liam handed the stewardess tickets and she scanned them and then nodded with a smile and let us pass through the gate. 

I looked behind me and saw Eric standing behind the gate. He waved goodbye, his face blank. 

Where the fuck was I going?


Liam held my hand the entire time, and it felt like forever in that plane. I got the window seat and watched above the clouds as we made our way to somewhere. 

I slowly saw the plane decreasing, lowering below the clouds. Here's my chance. I look everywhere and my eyes first directly land on what was an Eiffel Tower? I was confused, the flight was longer than going to Paris. 

So I look somewhere else and see fountains, cars, and buildings. I look beyond the utopia and see nothing but sand. Desert. 

"We're in Vegas," I mutter as I turn my head and see a smiling Liam. "Liam."

"Relax," he said. "It's time to have some time to ourselves." 

When we got off the plane the airport was crowded. But Liam took hold of my hand and lead me through the airport. 

"Liam, why are we here?" I asked him as we reached the front of the airport. A taxi waiting for us. 

He opened the door and gave me a slight push to go first. Once the door was closed I bombarded him with questions. 

"Why are we here?" I asked him again. 

"Bellagio," he said to the taxi driver. 

"Bellagio?! Liam, stop. Stop!" He finally looked at me. The taxi started on the road and his brown eyes evaporated me. "Why are we here?" 

​"I needed to get away from them," he said innocently. Like a child. 

"What? Away from who?" 

"All of them. It's been so long since we shared a stage, it just didn't feel normal. The thing is they ignore it. We all promised each other that we were done with the band, to release ourselves from management's hold. Now look at us, we are back where we started. Pretending nothing ever happened and suffocated by the same management that drowned us." 

"Why didn't you just tell me?" My hand found his.

"Because I need everyone to think I want this. I want to be back in a band."

"You don't."

"I love them, but I just can't handle this anymore. You made me realize that. Once you left America, and I couldn't find you, I knew that the band wasn't for me. I loved what it did, and I don't regret I, but I was just so tired. Trying to be something I couldn't. I needed to give it up, in order to save you, in order to save myself. We have gone through nothing but bullshit since this godforsaken tour started."

"Liam," I started. "I would never have begun this relationship with you if I didn't think about the band. It's like a packaged deal, I need to except it. I can see you're stressed so we'll stay, but don't you think they'll come for you. I mean you're gonna miss some of the shows." 

"I don't care. I need a break. They'll never know where we are if we don't tell them anything."


"Won't say anything. He promised." 

"How long are we gonna disappear?" I placed my hand on the side of his face and he brought my hand down and kissed the inside of my palm. 

"There is no time limit. Actually, they might want to think about replacing me." 

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