Adam thingy.



1. The whole story because I'm too lazy to do anything else..

She didn’t think in the beginning. Just ran away. Where was she going? She didn’t know yet. She just… ran. Until she got tired, until she couldn’t run anymore and the darkness began to settle. She took a rest. Well, it was meant to be a rest. But they weren’t following her anymore, so did it really matter? Her body was shaking and the little girl inside her shook too. Not because of the weather. It was in the beginning of May and the evenings were warm. But the thoughts ran through her young head and her feelings took control. In the dead of night she cried herself to sleep. Uncomprehending and unloved.

In her dreams she saw him, and only him. His face was everywhere and his voice echoed in her head. But after a while the face began to fade and the voice became unclear. He wasn’t meant to be remembered. Not by her. That was what they had told her all the time. ‘Forget him!’ ‘You are just a young girl; don’t let your feelings take control.’ But it wasn’t her feelings, not in the start. Something more powerful and unknown. She had never been one of those girls that let their feelings take the control. Until that day, of course.

Kate woke up at dawn. Where was she? Where were her bed, her room and her house? Then she remembered everything. A couple young men came to her door the day before. Kate opened up. The boys had been out and celebrate unlike Kate and her grandparents. They were five or six young men, but Kate only knew three of them. They had always been kind and polite. Kate was going to close the door again because she could see they were drunk. But then she spotted a mischievous twinkle in their eyes.

The whole thing began a few years back. Kate hadn’t been older than 15 years. That age where everything and everyone were difficult. Except Nanna. Her best friend. They did everything together. They were both young, beautiful girls with a lot of suitors. They enjoyed the attention. Who wouldn’t enjoy a lot of handsome boys? But when the two girls were together handsome boys didn’t matter. They just had fun.

Everybody in Nanna’s family was Jews. It had never been of greater importance until a sunny day where Nanna’s dad came running out to them. They were sunbathing and it all just happened so suddenly. Her dad looked so frightened. Weird. He didn’t usually get scared easily. Nanna’s father said that they needed to hurry. He was mumbling a lot and tried to tell Kate to go home, but she wanted to know what was happening. The next part was difficult to remember.  Suddenly they were just... there. The German soldiers.

Kate was a pale girl with curly black hair. Almost the opposite of Nanna and her family. All of them were tanned with light, almost golden, hair. Their difference saved Kate that day. The soldiers ordered them all to line up next to each other. Nanna, her parents, her two brothers and Kate. They were all terrified. Only the grown-ups knew what was going on. The German soldiers started to ask a lot of questions. Kate wasn’t good at English and their accent didn’t help. So Nanna’s dad answered all of their questions even though his voice was a little bit shaky.

Kate didn’t know what to do so she stood and looked at the ground for a while. Then she heard the father mention her name and Kate looked up. One of the soldiers came closer. Quickly she turned her head down and looked at his shoes. He lifted her head. Kate starred directly in to the most beautiful brown eyes. She gaped, but closed her mouth and put a more serious face on. They studied each other closely until the young man yelled something in German to the other soldiers. He pulled her out of the garden, to the street and let go of her. Left her there. Kate started crying and ran home. Two days later when Kate went to Nanna’s house no one was home. They never came home again.

It was half a year later after they first came. Kate still thought a lot about him, but his place was in one of the far corners of Kate’s mind. She forgot most of the handsome boys she met, but this guy was different. Or that was what Kate thought in the start. Then she slowly started to forget him. But she hadn’t forgotten Nanna. She missed her so much and was determined that her best friend was gone to Sweden like a few of the other Jews Kate knew.

But a certain young man with beautiful brown eyes came back. Not intentionally. More like… fate. If you believe in stuff like that.

It was a cold day in the start of October. The German soldiers were everywhere. There was no time to have fun anymore. But it didn’t matter, because how could Kate have fun without Nanna? So she just walked around in the neighborhood. She liked long walks in the Copenhagen streets.

Kate’s father went away in war long time ago and her mother was really sick. Kate was their only child so she needed to distribute the small amount of food. Of course she gave her mother the most even though she would throw it up in the night. Both of them got thinner and thinner.

As mentioned it was a cold day. Kate had a few layers of clothes on but not enough. She was on another of her walks. While she was walking she looked at her feet and thought about Nanna and her family. Suddenly she walked into something resembling a jacket. Or a uniform. Both Kate and the person she walked into was pushed a few steps back. She looked scared at the uniform and started apologizing. Until she looked him in the eyes and stopped. Those chocolate brown eyes seemed so familiar. She froze. Instead of bowing and hurrying away she just stood there. He did too. Kate had no idea about who he was. But she felt the same way all the heroines in her books felt when they met their one and only. Or that was what she thought. This person she had been thinking and dreaming of that much that it became a part of her day stood right in front of her. He stood right there. They stood right there. And for some reason Kate was sure that he felt the same way about her. Even though they didn’t know each other and probably never would. But that was how Kate’s complicated mind worked. Pretty naive and fantasizing. Kate was just so sure she could spot something, something fantastic, in his beautiful brown eyes.

They didn’t understand each other. Not even when they tried to speak English. But it was okay. They had it so fun. It didn’t matter at all what people called them. Well, the German soldiers didn’t say much. Once in a while they said something to him and they laughed. But the Danish people… They called them a lot of things. Kate was the only one who understood it. He didn’t.

Field madras. That was what they called her. It was a stupid expression. Or… Kate thought it was. But as long as they were together, everything was all right. Adam. That was his name. Kate loved the way he said it, with his thick German accent. Kate had trouble remembering how it all started. It was all just a blur. Maybe something with a kiss. They hadn’t talked about it or anything. A kiss just felt right.

After a while people started yelling more and more. Kate was almost all alone. Adam tried helping her. Her mother died because of the missing medicine. It was difficult times, Kate knew that. But she only thought about him, Adam, her everything. He tried providing everything she needed. Kate was really thankful. But it didn’t last long.

One year. That was all Kate got with her Prince Charming. Then he went back to Germany. One day he was there, holding her hands and kissing her lips. The next day he was gone. Of course he would come back, Kate was sure about that. The problem was just that he left her so suddenly.

While Adam was gone Kate’s grandparents let her stay at their house. They had been so kind to her. When they asked about the young guy she had spent so much time with, Kate just answered that he was a cousin from Sweden. But the grandparents knew who he was. They were just nice and didn’t say anything. She lived in Copenhagen though and it was a cold hard time. Everything people had were their family and friends and the best thing they could do was to gossip. Everyone knew about Kate’s little relationship. And everyone wasn’t as kind as her grandparents.

Most of the people just told her to forget him and that he wouldn’t return. There were still a couple of people who kept calling her bad things though. It continued in a few months until it became boring and they stopped.

But yes, Adam came back. One day he just stood outside her door and apologized. It sounded like he was apologizing. Kate couldn’t understand it but the look in his eyes told her everything. He just kept talking! It was unbearable for Kate. Even after a year without hearing that amazing voice Kate couldn’t stand it. But nor could she be hurt or angry. She just hugged him tight. Kissed him. Cried a lot. That was it. It would always be like that. Kate had no idea about what Adam had done in his life, who he was or what he would become. But she knew that she loved the person right in front of her more than everything else. Nothing could change that. Even if she knew how many people he had killed.

Adam was different. Kate couldn’t figure out what had changed in Germany. It must be very serious. Maybe was it the now permanent wrinkle in his forehead. Or the skin on his hands being rougher than usual. But he was still her Adam and did it really matter? That was her thought of it the first few months. After some time Kate started speculating. What had Adam been doing in Germany? Why did he leave so suddenly, without saying goodbye?

Not much was changed though. Adam still laughed, smiled and danced with her. He was an amazing dancer. They danced far away from everybody else, in the woods, so nobody could see them and call them ugly things. But when they were walking in the city people still yelled at Kate. And it was the same word over and over.

And now she was lying there. A year after. On the hard ground behind her grandparents’ house. She hadn’t been running for a long, the night before. But long enough. The boys were big, clumsy and drunk. They gave up the pursuit and went home. Kate was a thin little girl and could easily hide in the dark. She smiled.

While she was lying on her back and watched the sun rise she thought it all through. Now when she was thinking about it, she could clearly see how stupid and naïve she had been. Adam had just been a boy! And he was German! But Kate couldn’t hate him. She didn’t understand anything at all. The only thing she knew was his name. Adam. Adam. Adam. She smiled every time. It was such a wonderful name. Kate hadn’t said that name in ages.

Not since the day where he disappeared. Again. Kate had been waiting in the woods, the little glade where they used to meet. When several hours had passed she started to search for him. Kate had screamed his name louder and louder every time. Her throat had become sore and she started crying. Like always.

That was two weeks before she was lying near the same forest, but it really felt like ages.

She was calm. Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Started humming a melody. A lullaby maybe. She was sure it was one of them her mother used to sing to her before she went to bed as a little girl. When she was lying there on the ground, she just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again. Kate had lost everyone she loved. She still had her grandparents, but they were old, and what would happen when they died? Would she still be hated by the people who once called her their friend? Or could she return to the city, find a husband and start a family? Maybe she had to run away. Kate said the words a couple of time. Running away. It would be a good idea. Wouldn’t be difficult. But whatever came after the escaping would be difficult. Where would she go? Kate needed to think about that. Maybe she could go to Germany and search for Adam.

But before Kate could think more about her escape plans she heard a voice.

“Come on, boys! Over here!” a person yelled. A boy. Or a young man.

Before she could run away they were over her. Yelling and laughing. It didn’t help to twist and turn. They were all too strong. Kate was sore and bruised after the night on the ground and before that the escaping.

When they dragged her through the town her eyes were closed. She didn’t want to look all the people she knew in the eyes, knowing they wouldn’t help her. And the boys… They were drunk and their actions were immature. But Kate knew why they were doing it. She understood them. Even if none of them had felt what she had been feeling all the time. They didn’t know what was happening inside her head. Kate desperately wished she could go back in time and change everything. But she couldn’t change anything at all. She couldn’t even run away any longer.

They dragged her to an open landscape. They were still outside and the ground was muddy. Kate would still not open her eyes. She wouldn’t let these… these monsters see the sorrow in her eyes. Even not when they cut her hair off. Or ripped off her clothes. She just tried not to cry. Once in a while she could feel someone’s spitting on her. They talked loudly. Still yelling and laughing. Kate knew she should feel humiliated. But the only thing she felt was something she couldn’t quite understand. It felt like happiness, but she wasn’t happy at all.

Her long dark locks where cut off and the most of her fine clothes where torn. But she wasn’t crying yet. Kate tried so hard not to cry, but for the first time in her life she couldn’t hold them back. Here she was, almost naked in the mud like another pig.

The boys started yelling something different. She wasn’t listening. No matter what they were saying, it couldn’t be worse than what they’d already done. Then Kate heard another voice. It sounded… different than the boys’. Sounded like it came from far away, but it was still louder than the boys’. She didn’t open her eyes. No matter who it was, the boys stopped yelling. She still didn’t open her eyes. What if he just was one of their friends who wanted to join the make-Kate’s-life-more-miserable- than-it-already-is-group! Did she really just think that? Hah. But Kate didn’t want to be disappointed. Not again. But what if… No. It couldn’t be him! He was gone. So she kept squeezing her eyelids together and waited for it. Kate could hear the person running in the wet gravel. The boys around her whispered. It felt like they were paralyzed. Why didn’t they do anything? Kate slowly lifted her head. She was too curious. Really, really slowly she opened her eyes. And started sobbing.

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