Preview of my new book

This isn't actually a book but it is a preview into one I am writing now. There aren't any spoilers but this is limited edition.

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1. Preview (chapter 1)





Some loose change fell from my pocket as I slid my black jeans down to my knees. The man before me laughed as he continued to nibble at my lip.

“I love you, Haley.” He whispered like so many times before. I froze trousers around my ankles. We had been living together for two years but I still hadn’t said those three words yet. I love you. The thing is…I didn’t. I was still very young, still could be at school, and still had yet to be jaded by a broken heart. George felt my hesitation and also stopped, unwrapping himself from me. “Clearly, your feelings still haven’t changed.” He turned away and collapsed onto the bed. I finished taking the trousers off before turning to him.

“Don’t be like that, George.” He huffed, absently making a circle with the tip of his fingers on his bare stomach.

“I know, I know, you’re still young. Younger than me. But what does that even mean, anymore? You’ve been younger than me for three years! Is this not working out, or something?” I felt my eyes well up, throat chocked and heart thumping.

“No! Of course not! Please don’t think I don’t care for you. I do love you. I’m just not in love with you.” He was going to interrupt but I continued speaking. My heart pounding faster and faster until I thought I might pass out. “I’m still too immature. I haven’t experienced life yet. I’m not ready to understand love.” George turned on his slide with his back facing me. I sighed.

“Good night, George.” I whispered.


When I woke up the next morning I was alone. With a sense of melancholy weighing down my heart I trudged to the bathroom to take a shower. I was still looking for a job in theatre. I had countless auditions but had always got small parts or none at all. George and I had in a one bedroom basement flat and he worked unhealthy hours to pay. Part of what I liked about him was he never pushed me to get a job. He always let me live my own way and find a pattern suited to me. Sometimes I wish he didn’t. I made me feel selfish and like I was mooching from him. George and I had started dating when I was fifteen and he was nineteen. He’d always respected the age gap between us but lately, I thought, he was getting fed up of me.


I dried my short hair in a messy pixie cut that was just past my ears and very spiky. It was dark enough to be considered black and yet I knew wasn’t. My skin was beyond pale into the realms of pasty and my eyes were just too pale a green to look right.


The streets were dull and grey clouds threatened heavy rain. The streets were crowded with tall buildings, some old and grand, some new and clearly meant to look modern. There was a busy rode just before a little row of shops before town. There was also a billboard that was primarily theatre posters. They rarely changed and some were ten years old but there were the occasional changes.


I ran to the centre of the road without really looking. A lorry skidded to a stop, as the lights five minutes down the road turned red. The sound made me jump back into reality as I crossed to the other side. As usual there was nothing new. With a sigh of disappointment that made my morale sink like a stone. It was then that a flashy poster caught my eye. It was black and silky paper with a vibrant red rose climbing up it. In silver writing that was curled and elegant it spelled out “SHATTERED”. The name wasn’t particularly appealing but it was new and looked attractive. Underneath, in smaller print, was written “Looking for young woman. Auditions whenever suitable.” It continued to state contact details. Ominous came to mind.  Still, I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialled the given number. I had almost given up on someone answering when a laugh rumbled into my ear. I jumped.

“Hello?” Another laugh.

"Hi! Are you looking for an audition?” The voice sounded like that of a child’s.

“Well, yeah, I guess.” She giggled.

“You guess?” I smiled to myself. The girl, woman, whatever, sounded like she was very amused.

“No, sorry, I’m looking for an audition and I saw your poster-,” She interrupted me with another laugh.

“Give the phone to me, Ember!” A man hissed on the other end. I heard the phone being passed and then the same man began to speak.

“Hello, what do you want?” Oh, charming, just the sort of person I would like to be in a play with. The man’s voice was sharp as if he didn’t want to be kept waiting.

“An audition. I saw your poster.” The man seemed to sigh though I wasn’t sure whether it was a sigh of happiness of annoyance. I wasn’t in the mood for impatient people. I had yet to return home and speak to George. I had yet to know whether he was leaving me. I had yet to know whether I would no longer be woken up by his warm breath against my neck and arm around my waist. Just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes.

“Hmm, we’ll call you back.” With that, he hung up. It was then that I broke down. I collapsed, tears rolling down my cheeks, knees sore from the fall. I heard footsteps coming towards me.

“Are you alright?” Someone asked. A sob rippled from my throat. I tried to suppress it with my hands but it just came out even more pained. It sounded like glass had shattered in my throat. The person knelt beside me and placed a hand on my back. “Hey, c’mon, what’s up?” I turned to see a young man with hair died a cadaverous blue like the newly deceased. His eyes were just as pale, verging on white. Even his skin was livid. I realised I had been staring. I noticed that his hair had lighter highlights in so it was white.

“S-s-sorry,” I chocked. The man flashed a brilliant grin.

“Ah, don’t apologize. You did have me worried, though!” He stood up and offered me a hand. I took it.

“Thank you,” I laughed, running a hand through my hair. “God, this is so embarrassing!” Again he flashed me a brilliant grin.

“Nah, it’s cool. Are you okay now?” I felt my cheeks flash crimson.

“Oh, I must be keeping you! I’m fine.” I wiped my eyes.  


We ended up sitting in a small café at the end of the road.  I was sipping at a hot chocolate whilst the man, Erion – cool name or what?-, sipped at a glass of hot water with lemon in.

“So, you phoned up for an audition and a crazy woman and weird man ended up just hanging up the phone?” He asked. I nodded, licking a chocolate moustache from my lips. “Did this play happen to be called “Shattered”?” He surprised me by enquiring. I froze.

“Yeah, how do you know?” Something I couldn’t quite read flashed across his face.

“I wrote the play.”


Erion had promised to call me about an audition. He had seemed angry about the other’s reactions to me and said I would fit the part very well. I strolled home feeling a lot better than when I had left. Erion had explained there were five of them so far: Ember, Erion, Damian, Demetria and Zale. I had spoken to Ember and Damian.


When I opened the door George was waiting for me. Without thinking, I rushed into his arms, sobbing. George stroked my hair and hushed me.

“Shh, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to rush you.” The more he spoke the more I hated myself for doing this to him. I had been reduced to a hiccupping wreck in his arms. George’s soft words continued to stab my heart as he spoke.

“It’ll be okay.”

“I’m not mad.”

“It doesn’t change how I feel for you.”

“We can work through things.”

“Every couple struggles.”

Words that flooded my mind until I thought I might scream. With each sentence we both crumbled a bit inside that part of you that is never there until you hurt. You forget it exists and then, one day, it will set you on fire with raging pain. Maladies of the soul. I may not be in love with George but to loose him would kill me.


When I had finally finished crying George and I had sat at the table as I relayed to him today’s happenings. As usual, he seemed intrigued in my life as if there was nothing more fascinating. It made me feel special and like I was worth the same to him as he was to me. After a short conversation on the play, it would have been longer if I actually knew anything about it, George told me about his work and the people he had met. The conversations that he had had. At the end he admitted, shyly, that he just wanted the day over so he could talk to me. He was worried I wouldn’t come home.  That had almost made me cry again but I held it back.


I was brushing my teeth when the phone rang. I debated not getting it but was intrigued as to who would call at such a late hour. My phone was on top of my folded clothes on the window sill.

 “Hello?” “Haley?” Erion and I said at the same time. I laughed, laying the toothbrush on the counter by the sink and taking a seat on the toilette lid. Erion laughed with me. It was a smooth laugh and washed over me like the air by the sea. I could almost taste it. Feel it. I shuddered.

“What’s up?” I forced away the affects of his laughter. It was harder that I would like to admit.

“Are you free tomorrow? You can audition then?”

“Uh, one sec.” That was the only day George didn’t have to work. I peeked into the bedroom where he was waiting for me. “Are we doing anything tomorrow?” I asked with my hand covering the phone so Erion couldn’t hear. George glanced at me.

“Not unless you want to?” I beamed at him.

“Then I’ve got an audition!” George smiled back.

“Good for you, Haley!” I spoke into the phone again.

“I’m free tomorrow. What time and where?”


I'd like to point out this really doesn't show any of the plot. (C) 2013

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