I Can Still Remember Everything...

Det her er en novelle på engelsk, som jeg fik lyst til at skrive.

Have you ever done something you regreted, because you thought you had time to make it up? This is a short story about a boy and a girl and a car accident that change both of their lives.


1. I Can Still Remember Everything...

Would you do everything for the person you loved? Would you run through fire and water just for him or her? I would. I would do everything for her. But the only problem was that I forgot to tell her that. She was my one and only. I can still remember her fiery red hair that always waved in the wind, her wonderful shampoo that had a sweet smell of strawberry, and her soft and slightly pink lips, which she always pressed gently against mine, when we kissed. Her kiss always tasted like peppermint. I loved the way, her hand stroked my cheek. Oh, her lovely hand. Now it is so long ago… But I still remember like it was yesterday. I still remember everything.


She and I had argued the whole forenoon. Now I cannot remember why or what it was about, but I am sure that it was insignificant. After I had the last word, she ran crying in our bedroom. I just stood their and did nothing. I could clearly here her sob through the door. I felt guilty, but as stubborn as I was, I did not want to be the one, who said “I’m sorry”.
     I regret that now.
     I went to the car to get away from her sobbing. I got in the car and began to dunk my head against the steering wheel. I did that several times until I got a headache. After a few minutes she came running and got in the car right beside my. Fuck, I had forgotten that we should visit her mother. For fucking hell!
     In the corner of my eye, I could see that her mascara had run and left to black lines down on each of her cheeks. I wanted to say something, just something to cheer her up, men I did not. I was afraid to say something that would make her sadder than she already was.
     I started the car and back out the driveway with an expressionless face, which, I could see, made her even sadder. She wanted me to apologize, probably for calling her slut.  But I did not care. I just wanted her disappear. Even more I wanted myself to disappear.
    That was a wish, I should not have made.
     We did not say anything to each other, but I could feel her eyes on me. Since we could not hear the radio, because it was broken, all we had was the awkward silence between us.  It reminded me of our first date.


We were at a festival to celebrate that it was spring, which it ironically had started a month ago. At first we did not say a word to each other, because we did not have anything to say. We did not know each other that well, because we had met thought some friends, who thought we were be perfect for each other, which we also was, just not at the beginning.
     At the festival there was a lot of booths and in one of them, there was the game, “shoot ducks”. I sucked at it. I really sucked, while she hit every duck that moved. Her father was a huntsman. She ended up winning a bouquet at big pink balloons. As the gentleman I sometimes was, I suggested holding it for her. She nodded.
     We had not walked very far until we bumped into a friend of her. He had blond hair and blue eye. He had the body of a huge and strong football player, which I honestly was jealous on. He looked at her like he had missed her for a long time. She, on the other hand, had a stiff expression and her body was like board, hard and unbendable. Suddenly she introduced me to him and sent me an insecure smile. He looked at me with a look that could have killed the cutest puppy in the world and when he shook my hand, he tried to show muscles. He diffidently did not like me. Was it me or did he just growl at me?
     After that he quickly disappeared like he had lost his pride in some kind of way. She excused on his behave and said that he usually did not like to see her with other men. I looked confused at her. He was her ex-boyfriend; she told me and tried to smile.
     He was her ex-boyfriend?!
     I was stunned. That awful and rude guy was her ex-boyfriend? How could she have been in a relationship with him? He was a nobody, a loser! He was nothing, she was everything. Before I could stop myself, I had said what I meant about him and I had not sugarcoated. She looked at my with big eyes and a mouth shaped as an O. She was offended with no doubt. She turned around on her heel and marched in the opposite direction.


When we had reached the highway, I had no idea, how long we had driven or what the time was. All I knew was that it felt like a ride that would never end. It was a ride; I did not want to be on.
     “You know, I will always love you, right?”
     She was the first to break the silence. Now I wish it was me, how had done that, but it was not. I did not react at all. I just sat and looked right ahead on the road. I was still angry at her.
      She heaved a deep sigh. “But it is moments like these, where I love you a little less…”
      I still ignored her, but this time my conscience moved a little bit. She had hit me in the perfect spot and she knew it. It was unfair and cheap trick. She looked at me with her big brown eyes, which suddenly became wet again.
     Oh no! Do not cry, I begged in my head. Please, do not cry!
     “But I love you every second of the…”
     Suddenly she screamed my name, a loudly and deafening sound. Terrified and shocked I look at her face, which had turned white. It looked like she had seen a ghost.
     Deep down I wish it was only that.
     Because I had been so angry at her, I did not notice that there sharp bend longer ahead on the highway. Before I even had the time to react, the car drew right trough the guard rail. It felt like we floated in several minutes, but it could only have been milliseconds.


I instantly ran after her still with the pink balloons in my hand. I had probably looked like an idiot, but at the time I did not care. When I catch up with her, she had sat down on the earth. I did not have to see her face to know that she had tears running down her cheeks.
     I felt like a total ass.
     I wanted to say something, but my words would not leave my mouth, they were like stuck in there. My words failed. All I could think of doing was sitting next to her and just waiting for her to say something, which I knew was a bad idea, but what else could I do?
     “You are huge ass.” She suddenly said. “Did you know that?”
     I nodded.
     She sent me a careful smile, but to me it was the most beautiful smile in the world. She looked like an angel, who was sent from heaven to me. It made me automatically smile back to her.
     “But you are still cute...” She announced. “…In your own weird way.”


When I opened my eyes, I had the biggest headache ever. It felt like someone had hit me with a hammer over and over again. In the corner of my eye I saw her screaming and fighting to get out of her seatbelt. The strange thing was that I could not hear anything. It was like someone had muted the sound. There ran blood from her temple.
     I wanted to help her and wrap my arms around her and tell her, how much I love her and I would never ever leave her again. But I could not move. It was like my body would not obey my brain. I could not move any of my limbs. I was paralyzed.
     Suddenly I could see her leaning over me and trying to open my seatbelt and getting my out of the car. She could not. I was too heavy and no matter how much I tried I could not help.
     Her lips moved fast like she was yelling at me, but I could not hear anything. She looked desperate and her cheeks were wet. She knew that she could not help me.
    Out of the blue I began to freeze. I thought I was shaking, but body could not. I slowly closed my eyes not realizing that it would be the last time, they were ever opened. I was just happy that she was the last thing, I saw.


Fortunately she survived with superficial scratches. Unfortunately I did not. That accident happened many years ago. My loved had moved on now and started her own family, which I glad she had. Sometimes I spent hours looking down at her, her husband and their two sons. They were one big happy family. That is all I ever wished for her. I can still remember everything from that day and a part of me know that she also can. But I was just chapter in her life and she was whole thing.

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