My Immortal Comentary

This is a commentary of the infamous My Immortal. Do not own (thank god) Note! Swearing, cutting, bad lemons and horrible grammar. The last two are grave offences




Sup? Grey here with a commentary on the infamous excuse of a fanfic, My Immortal. I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal (Thank Jesus) I will write in bold with parenthesis, until I get lazy and hust write in bold. Note, there is swearing, horrible grammar, and lemons. The last two are grave offences that are given a decent flaming. On with the reading!


AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) (What is this “goffik” you speak of? There is GOTTIC and emo, not this horrible shit you call “goffik”) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) (What got something against gays?) raven (God damn you Raven), bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! (Now I am glad they broke up, they were fine until they were mentioned)


Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way (why the long ass name? Why the hell is there an apostrophe?)and I have long ebony black hair (redundant Tara, redundant)  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). (Sorry ho, I’m doing a commentary) I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie.(I don’t think you need incest to get in his pants sweetie, advertise that you’re a free whore and I guarantee you will get some, unless he’s married then you’re outta luck) I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white (That musta hurt like a bitch to get your teeth straightened). I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch (I thought you were a vampire, MARY SUE ALERT!), and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (Scotland sweetheart, it’s in fucking Scotland) where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) (Noooooo, really?) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there (You say you are anti-mainstream, but to many people it is mainstream. That and no offence [offence to you Ebony] I kinda think it makes girls look stutly. There are good clothes I admit that but not everything, just my opinion). For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots.(Going to a funeral?” I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation (You’re white, I doubt you need foundation), black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun (Where did Mr. Sunshine go?), which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. (Apparently this solves the hating problem)

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was….(Wait for it….) Draco Malfoy!

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly (When is Draco shy? If he wants a whore he’ll order one)

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. (Awesome convo girl, you can stop a war with that.)


AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! (No, you’re not to say “fangz” you’re excused from living, kindly die in a hole)

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