My Immortal Comentary

This is a commentary of the infamous My Immortal. Do not own (thank god) Note! Swearing, cutting, bad lemons and horrible grammar. The last two are grave offences


9. Help me flame her!

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! OBVIOUSLY! dis is frum da movie IT DOESN’T EVEN FOLLOW THE DAMN MOVIES! ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! One hell of a headache! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes Christian Because he banged Draco before Ebony or Enoby whatever the fuck her name is now? It may not be mentioned but he probably did, just sayin. ‘~(-_-)~’ Who still has their name besides Draco?  and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX! Now they don’t


I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Draco for cheating on me. HE DIDN’T FUCKING CHEAT ON YOUR!!!!!!!!!! I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) You realize he is described in the book as well right? Oh wait *facepalm* you didn’t read the fucking books! (I didn’t either but I know the books are generally better than the movie)and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. Anyone in this godforsaken thing who wears black isn’t a goth? Amazing.  It was…… Voldemort!

“No!” Hell yes! I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.

“Crookshanks!” I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped. No sadistic people keep going.

“Ebony.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire Potter!” Why the Shakespeare? That’s it I’m calling the Urple Police.

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. HE’S THE FUCKING ENEMY FOR FUCKS SAKE!  I remembered that Draco had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? NOW YOU FUCKING GET IT? RIGHT BEFORE YOU CAN GET FUCKING MURKED? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH *flips apartment building and a dog (Sebastian doesn’t like dogs *3*, wait! What about Pluto? TT3TT) on with the story, heh sorry. Fangirl moment ‘^-^

“No, Voldemort!” I shouted back. So let me get this straight, you think about how hot he is and realize that Draco didn’t cheat on you, but in the span of time that you could have been murked? That’s it! *throws hands up* Bitch is going down!

Voldemort gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged. SHOOT HIM STUPID!

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way. Are you fucking serious? I do not have the energy to tell you how stupid you just sounded. I know you have mental issues but really?

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. Ok, Tara watches Buffy the Vampire Slayer as well. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. Don’t know how that can be said cruelly but whatever. The chapter is almost done and I’ll rant at the end. Possibly.  “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. Ok, he’s fucking Voldemort he doesn’t need a fucking broomstick UGH I give up you’re a lost cause! I will just yell at you now!

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

“Draco!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) No Tara, I do not “geddit” Heh, I have a friend who read this and made a demotivational with a pentagram next to Draco. It’s pretty funny  between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked. How the fuck do you think he feels?

“No.” he answered. No duh

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled. Did you just take a shit right now or something? You usually expel shit from your ass. Seeing how everything you say is shit I have come to the conclusion that your face is an ass.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. Ok I have to see people making out and walking through a forest at the same time now. I need to see how stupid they look.

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