My Immortal Comentary

This is a commentary of the infamous My Immortal. Do not own (thank god) Note! Swearing, cutting, bad lemons and horrible grammar. The last two are grave offences


7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life


AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect A Mary Sue doesn’t have to be perfect. Ha! You had to Google what a Mary Sue was!   SHES A SATANITS! Who isn’t in this fanfic? Your mother must be proud -_-  n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! Then get a fucking therapist for the girl!


Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?) Actually, Ebony is a black hole-sympathy-lemon-relationship-dream-Anti Sue, yes all of these exist. Look it up on TVTropes. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively That is spelled so wrong, I am prepared to set this story on fire. and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically Doesn’t even make sense. You can say quickly took each other’s clothes off in a fit of passion, but not what you put. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra Sounds constricting and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. Great imagery there, NOT (c is dat stupid?) Extremely

“Oh Draco, Draco!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco’s arm. You couldn’t have been turned off then, you would have been riding off your “orgasm” It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire! Betcha jellin big time! Vampire got Draco before you! HAWHAW

I was so angry. Over what? You said Vampire was hot and you were dating Draco

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!” You probably gave them to him

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

“VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled. Ok, so Potter got your boy before you that makes him a motherfucker? Then you must be the whore he bangs to get over him!

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