Love and its phases.


1. Love

I saw him first time

something stirred in my heart

I could not give any name to it

I was only fourteen.


I heard much about him

his goodness, quiet attitude

as well as his challenges in his life;

a person of great character stood in my imagination.


I was fifteen

I grew close to the image in my thought

he sat like a God on the pedestal of my heart

but still scared when ever I saw him.


Once we came face to face

I froze and was stunned

he just raised his eyes to look at me

a magnetic vibration like a lightening

sped by between us

the moment made its pact 

with the fusion of hearts.


My heart flipped inside

flew into the wonder land of love

I knew I found my soul mate

and I was still fifteen.


He went to far off lands

his first letter caught me unawares

but it opened my heart to write my love

I poured out every thing.

the bliss of love in me like the divine nectar.


Every feeling every thought

every emotion and passion

all love and imagination

shared as ideal as it could be

each having a high opinion of the other.


We both dreamed of each other

pictured a happy life

a long sweet waiting

till he came back.


Quite matured in age and mind

we were now soul mates and life partners

living together brought reality home

sweet times and joyful days

conflicts and compromises.


Love remained deep and  undisturbed

sanctity felt strong in union

and life  colorful like rainbow in the sky.


As years passed

in the stream of love

life experiences rolled by in swift currents

waves of anger and hurt surfaced

who was right who was wrong?

life was turbulent but love was cherished.


Now we both are in sixties

tired of the challenges in life

chemistry failed to work

he has so much pride and ego to share

I have so much anger and hurt to accept.


Heart is in turmoil

love receded to hiding

we being pushed to the opposite ends.


Through out in our lives

the ideal love we felt was as genuine as the love

we shared in real life that bound us together.


Now away from each other

in the last stage of our lives

I realized one thing for sure

that these were but phases of love

and were never in the least hypocritical.


Love between partners is not just sufficient

regard for each other is important

love can never be judged

neither can be specified nor can be standardized

love exists in its own entity

it has its own identity

regardless of its success or failure

in the life journey.


The ideal love felt intense at the time

was truly experienced

nor the hurt now I feel is wrong and truly felt.


One thing for certain I can say

he had been the only one for me

my soul mate and my life partner

as I never could imagine another in his place.


I would never regret my choice

for it had to be that way

because of the love much cherished and treasured.


Life is accepting the things as they come

with strength of mind and character

whether we live happily ever after or not.






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