Friendships, Heartbreaks, and Love/Hates.

This is where i will write all my feelings and events that are important to me that i need to write.


1. April 9th 2013

Dear diary,

I've been so confused lately. About my feelings for these three guys I know. They liked me before, but I never knew who I liked the most, I used to think that choosing one and being friends with the other two was the best solution ever. But recently I started paying more attention to one of them and "chose" him, but now the other two are tugging at my heart. Today one of them asked me out. The one I chose hasn't for three months yet,  soon I think I'm gonna give up. Then there's the third one who left for vacation for awhile and just came back yesterday. He started talking less to me, I started to realize how much I missed talking to him and teasing him. I found out I had some feelings for him. Now I know the reason why he hasnt been talking to me anymore. He doesnt like me anymore, he likes someone else. When I found out, there was a deep sinking feeling in my chest that I get when I get jealous. I'm torn between all three of them, I'm gonna try to stop my feelings for the third one because I know it won't happen. But whenever I try to forget someone almost everything reminds me of them, I don't think I can forget. I need to figure out something about the other two now. My heart is breaking. Now how should I face him? i'm sure he just thinks of me as a friend, it hurts so much. I don't think I can survive any longer. If I see him, I'm probably gonna ruin everything. Plus there's the dance, they will probably be there all lovey dovey. Then theres me in the corner watching them, while slowly breaking inside. I really hate how I am with these things. I have to pretend I don't care and hide my real feelings.  I know he likes her a lot, and shes really pretty so i can win against her

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