How to do Stuff!

Some guides on how to do useful stuff. Ahha!


1. How to lure a Diego

Note: Diego is my (Lia is a cookie) cat and is rightful to have his own species for his awesomeness. Dedicated to Gilray whom is no longer with us at but was a lover of cats.

How To Lure A Diego


- Do not force him to do anything as you may end up clawed to bits.

- Do not pick him up as you may end up dead.

- Do not do anything stupid that may or may not harm Diego.


Step 1: Lure him up to your bedroom by pretending your fingers are mice and pulling them up the 2 flights of stairs.

Step 2: Once he gets to your bedroom pat the top of your bed lightly. He will jump up if you do it right.

Step 3: Stroke from the top of his head and down his spine until you first touch his tail when you stop and repeat this process until he is looking at you adoringly.

Step 4: He should be purring and might curl himself  up into a ball. Once he's in a ball rub his belly gently over and over until he yawns himself onto his back.

Step 5: Once he is on his back keep rubbing his belly until he eventually sits up.

Step 6: He should be looking for a finger to suck so gently rub under his chin.

Step 7: His mouth should be pulling in your finger. Stroke him with your other hand whilst allowing him to suck your finger.

Step 8: After some time he may get bored of that finger and go for another. Let him do this.

Step 9: Wait until he drops your finger and goes to sleep. This can take up to 48 hours depending on his mood.

Step 10: You have successfully lured a Diego. Well done. *Applauds*.


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