Lone Tree

This is my first movella! This is a story I wrote ages ago as part of school work. It isn't that long but I want to know how people like my style of writing, and any improvements. Its a tragic love story with a wierd twist. Please read on...


3. All Alone

The carriage rumbled down the road, passing no one. The sun had just started to come over the horizon, scaring away the night. She sat in the back gloating, still angry at her mother for sending her to work as a maid for some children, children who were rich and spoilt, like she used to be. As the carriage rumbled on, her thoughts calmed, at least her mother would be able to survive on the money she sent over. But not seeing her, she felt a pain in her heart where her mother normally was, she could feel it, something bad was going to happen to her, something that she couldn’t stop.


After the sun had risen up to its highest point, the carriage stopped. She handed over the shilling for payment from the pouch her mother had given her. The pouch felt heavy in her hands, and she realised that her mother had given her the last of their savings. She felt like breaking down and crying on the spot. But remembering that she was to become a maid she held her head high and knocked on the door of a rather grand mansion. The mansion was white with roses growing up the walls. The gardens extended as far as the eye could see in all directions. Hedges trimmed into formal shapes, , the flowerbeds filled with colour, she was astounded by all she saw, forgetting that once she herself had lived in just such a house with gardens like those.


A tall women opened the door, and looked down her nose at the young girl before her. “What do you want?” her voice came out as sharp as her thin, wiry frame.

“Please, I am the new maid, for the Heffernan family. I was sent here to find work.”

“Yes, I was told about a new maid coming, there isn’t much of you is there. I was expecting someone a bit bigger; you’re a mere child yourself. Still if the mistress hired you, you should come in.” With that the women turned on her heels and strode down the hallway, uncertain she hung around the doorway, waiting. The women turned around. “Well come on in then, you will need to meet the children you will be looking after.” She was led up two spiralling staircases, down another hallway, this one filled with paintings of people all looking down their noses at her.


Finally they came upon a nursery where, two small children where playing quietly. The women cleared her throat. “Children this is your new maid, she will be looking after you from now on.”

“Don’t need looking after.” The small boy said. “I am a big boy, I can look after myself.”

“Now don’t be silly Edward, you know that you need looking after.”

“I don’t mind, she looks nice.” A quiet voice spoke from the floor.

“That’s the spirit Beatrice. Now you be nice to her, she’s new here and doesn’t know much about the way things run here.” The women turned and went out the door. “Oh, and if you need any help I’ll be in the kitchens, my names Agathe by the way.”


The children stared at her, she stared back at them. “What will we call you.” The little boy said. “We can’t just call you nothing.”

“You will call me Nurse.”

“Don’t you have a real name like Charlotte?”

“No, my family never did give me a proper name, I was always darling or sweetie to them and anyone else. If I was given a name, I can’t remember it.”

“Oh, well nurse, its time for our morning walk. Can you take us to the park? You can play with us.”

“I expect I can, Edward, as long as you promise not to get muddy. But no my job is not to play but to look after” Agathe had warned her while walking about the consequence of getting the slightest rip in the clothes, the slightest speck of mud on the white cuffs.

“Don’t need looking after.” Edward replied huffily.

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