If You Tolerate This Then Good For You

More poetry from the master of ignoring important things and people in order to write inane rubbish.


1. Pub Lunch and Maybe More


I was stood outside my house the other day

When this young lady walked past the other way

I thought for a minute, fought myself for a minute

Then decided on my own initiative, I’m there in a minute


I strutted on over, asked what’s your name

She said Katie; I said that’s a bloody shame

I had you down as Cleopatra, my Queen of the Nile

Haven’t seen a bird like you for quite the while


I said I’ll buy the pint, you pick the place

We’ll blow this Popsicle stand right off the face

Of the Earth, a dearth of talent in Wigan

Ended with the prize catch of a big ‘un


So there we were, the Dog and Duck

After twelve drinks, I couldn’t see fuck

She whispered rude things into my ear

Things I cannot repeat and that is clear


I never got her number and we never met again

She went on back from whence she came, Spain

Or Monaco, I’ll never know but there you go

And that’s all there was, my tale is over 

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