My Journal

This is word for word, what I've written in my journal. I decided to publish it, to get some things in the open...


5. 13th March 2012

I know I should look on the positive side of life, but how can I? Seriously, life is crap at this age, at fourteen. In my case anyway. School used to be great, I had amazing friends. And for a few weeks, I had the perfect boyfriend. And now, he's with my now enemy. He had feelings for me for two years, how can they dissapear? I don't buy it, affection for someone can't justy be forgotten like that. It's impossible, absolutely bullshit, there are still feelings for me, I can sense it in the way he breathes around me.. I don't think her as my enemy, I just want some space from her. Cause, seriously, no-one can see it from my point of view. To just dump me on the spot, when I was scared and needed comfort. I just don't see why he couldn't just tell me to stop being so depressing. He didn't have to just crush me, like I wasn't worth anything. He's the one that built me up, and for what? So he can have the pleasure of ripping me to shreads. Cause that's certainly how it feels. I just hate the fact that he would just end it, like that. Without any fucking warning, that was just cruel. And yet, I forgave everything he ever did that hurt me. Which, to be honest wasn't much. Just maybe the fact that  wasn't what he wanted anymore. Well, he can go to fucking Hell. To drop me on the floor like I was a piece of fucking rubbish. Well, stepping away from those two for a minute, which must be a relief for them. If I could kill just one person on the planet, and all memories of them were forgotten, it would be her. I just can't believe her, she fucking said she wouldn't go for him. And yet, she fucking broke me down to get hat she wanted. She's a fucking bitch, what did  I do to her to deserve this? I know I lie, but she took away my chances at earning him back. Exactly my point, I just want him back.

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