Why me?

I wrote this for the picture competition.


1. Wedding

I stand before the gold edged mirror. My white dress waves like a sea down my legs. My hair is highly placed in a nice do up. For the first time in my life I feel pretty. It's like they say, every girl looks beautiful on their wedding day. Then why can't I be happy? I ask myself. I'm beautiful, my husband-to be is wonderfull, I am getting married on the most beautiful place with flowers everywhere and a tiny river next to the church. So why am I not happy? I still love Markus don't I? This is suppose to be the happiest moment of my life. No! Stop feeling bad for you'r self! I tell my self. You can't betray Markus now, you love him! Even tough his brother Nick... I slap my self over my cheek. I have told my self to do that when I think of him. Don't think of Nick, only Markus! Markus who i'm getting married to now. I lift up my dress a little bit and go towards the door. Halfway there my dad slightly opens the door and leads me out of the suffocating room. We go down the stairs. Half way down the music starts. I try to take a deep breath but my lungs don't seem to work. We finally reach the end of the stairs. My dad leads me down the aisle while I try not to fall. I can barely breathe. I breathe in short breaths. Markus are standing at the alter smiling at me. I take a short peak at his best man. Nick. For a seacond can I finally breathe and my heart raises to it's double speed. I almost slap myself again but in the last seacond I remember where I am and what I'm doing. The last steps to the alter my dad holds a tighter grip round my arm, then he lets go and hands me over to Markus. I can't breathe again. I look at my mom who's crying. Markus drags me nearer the priest.

"I love you" He wispers to me before he turn to the priest. I remain there hesitating a seacond but then i also turn to the priest. I no longer care if i can breathe or not. Now I'm holding my breath. The priest babbels a lot before he finally gets to the important part. Or at least it's babble in my ears.

"Do you, Markus, Take Melanie to be you'r beloved wife for better and good?" I can see tiny dots before my eyes now. I guess it's because i'm not breathing.

"I do" Markus smiles happily at me. Then the priest asks me the same thing. I can barely hear him now. I look confused from the priest to Markus to Nick. They are all quiet so I guess thats my cue.

"I..." My voice breaks. I don't know what to say. I am starting to understand something now. If I really loved Markus wouldn't I be hesitating like this. I don't love him. I can't do this. My mother has stopped crying now. I take i final stare at Nick then I turn my head to Markus. "I'm sorry..." I begin. But then my head stops working. It seemes like I only can use one organ at the time. Because now my lungs are working again. "I Can't..." I don't know what to say anymore. Tears are running down my cheeks. I turn aorund and run down the ailse, trough the door and to the woods. I don't know why i'm heading that way. The woods just seemed more tempting then all the people inside the church. I run past hundred trees in my six-inch stilettos. After only a few minutes of running from the civilization I have to stop. I only stop because I can't run in my dress. So I rip it of. I take all tulle and silk I can find and just tear it of my body. Then i start running again. No dress is stopping me now. Just the shoes, but I don't have time to stop again. I have to get away. Get away from all the awkwardness. I really hope no one is chasing me. I just want to be alone. So i keep running. As far and as fast as I can. In only a corset and stilettos. I would have ripped the corset of too if i could but it was to tightened to me. I couldn't reach to my back so I couldn't untie it. Plus the material is too thick to tear apart.

After a really long while i'm too tired to keep running. I fall down on a big rock nearby. Just now i notice I also have knee-tights on me. My silver shoes are covered with mud and leafs. So is my hair. At least the leaf part. I don't even need to touch my hair to know it escaped from it's do up. I must look terrible. I start walking. I don't want anyone to come find me like this. When did it get this dark? The trees all look more terrifying now then they did before. I look around me. Then it hits me. I don't know where I am. I have just been running, I never kept track of where i where. Now I'm lost. I look around once again. I cant be that lost, can I? These woods can't be that big. I bet that if I just continue walking forwards I'll come out. But which way did i come from? I do something that is probably not smart. I spin around and stop, where i stop, that road shall I take. So I walk again. Now it's completely dark and my feet hurt. But that's okey. I tell my self. I'll soon be out of here. Maby i underestimated this forrest. It's way larger than I tought. I don't know which way I was suppose to go anymore. Suddently i hear a wolf howl. I turn around. It sounded like it was near. Then it sounds again, but not like a wolf. It sound more like a scream. I run. Away from the noice. Then it gets louder. I turn around to run the other way but the scream only sounds louder. I take right. I almost run into a tree. When I try to run past it, it feels like the trees limbs reach down to try to catch me. I scream when my hair gets caught in a twig. I pull back my hair so I can run. Everyway I run it seems like the trees are trying to catch me. Wolfs are howling and someone is screaming. Then I hear someone is laughing. I nearly brake then, i'm just about to let one of the trees take me when i see a cottage. I run as fast as i can to the cottage. Actually it's no cottage. It's more of an house made of concrete. It has no door so i just run in. I fall down on the floor where I crawl into a corner. I Hear the laughing and screaming more clear now then ever. I sit with my back to the wall and hold my hands over my ears trying to shut the sound out. I hear a third voice mumbeling. It sounds like it's talking Italian. I close my eyes. I scream while tears are steaming down my cheeks. I just want it to end. I open my eyes. I almost panic. Or, not almost, I am. A human shaped person are standing by the door. I scream even louder. I see another human shaped person standing by a window. I press my back to the wall. The person by the window are walking towards me.

"Please don't hurt me" I beg. I can't scream anymore. When he gets closer can I see that he's not a human. Because you can't see right trough a human. Suddently a third person appears beside me. I scream again. He mumbels something on Italian. "L... Let me g... go" I stammer. The three ghosts are coming towards me. The one who was standing by the door before are still screaming. Hands are reaching for me. I scream and try to fight the three ghosts. The mumbeling one grabs my legs with his cold hands. I can feel the coldness of his hands but I can't feel any preasure. He drags me to the center of the room. The one who stood by the window before laughs now. I am lying in the center of the room and i can't move. If i could I would but it's like an invisble power is holding me down.

"Help!" I scream. No answer. I continue screaming and trying to fight even tough I know it's no point. The three ghosts are standing in a ring around me. Their hands are reaching down at me. They all look like lumberjacks with check patterend shirts and beards. The Italian one bends down to smell at me. I twist where i lay to get away from him.

"Natalie!" Someone suddently shouts. I start crying. I'm so glad to finally hear a human voice. I remember myself trying to slap myself. "What the hell was that?" Nick ask me and fall down on his knees besides me. The ghosts are gone. He takes me in his arms.

"Don't go" I try to say while i'm crying.

"I won't" He presses me to his chest

"Never again" My voice are getting a little bit steadier now. "Promise" I look into his eyes.

"I promise, if you promise you wont marry my brother next time you get pissed at me" I shake my head agains his chest. I will never do that mistake again. "In that case" I look up at him. He must think i look awful. I bend my head down to the floor. He put his hand under my chin and raise my head up to his. "I promise" I say. Then something really wonderful happens. He kisses me.

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