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A series of one chapter diary entries, poems or fictional stories about different aspects of my teenage life, each summed up into less than 1000 words.

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8. Stop.

 

Get over him. He's not even worth it. He's not with your time or your tears. Yeah, you loved him; I know that. And I know you just can't see yourself with anyone other than him; I get that. I've been there. But why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is and who he's with? Do you honestly think that he's thinking about you? No. Sure it hurts: the fact that he's out there, falling in and out of love with other girls. Yeah, you're gonna see him with one of his new girlfriends. Prepare yourself  because - straight up - it's going to hurt. He'll hold her a little closer and squeeze her hand a little tighter just because he knows you're watching. He knows it's killing you; that's why he'll do it. Don't let him get to you because that, well...that's exactly what he wants. Don't give him what he wants. He doesn't even deserve it. So what if he doesn't talk to you? Do you honestly want to be friends with an asshole like him anyway? The thing is, I know you still do. But give it time because, if you were friends again, all he would do is talk about his new girlfriend and just try to make you jealous. Do you really want to hear that? No. Screw him and his girlfriend. He'll be sorry. Trust me. When he finally sees you with some other guy who's not him. He'll see you with that huge grin on your face and your new boyfriend holding you close just for the sake of it; he'll realize how happy you are now. He'll realize how happy your boyfriend is because he has you: the girl of his dreams. He'll realize the huge mistake he made when he let you go; when he decided to choose her over you; when he decided he just didn't love you the same. Trust me, he'll be sorry. And don't you sit there thinking he won't be sorry. I know you're thinking that but I guarantee you now: he will be sorry. So don't keep spending your nights waiting for that one phone call you know you're never going to get or that text that you know he'll never to send you simply because he knows it's killing you. When he walks past you in the hallways, he's going to look right past you, but you need to know he'll do that because he knows, somewhere inside you, it will hurt. I'm not going to lie to you: it will hurt. It'll hurt a lot. But it will hurt even more when you see her name and how much he loves her in his profile. It's all going to hurt. Knowing that you're not the girl that's making him smile; knowing you're not the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last before he goes to sleep; knowing you're not the face on the background of his phone anymore; knowing, if he hasn't already, he will delete the album of pictures he has of you and him on his phone; knowing you won't be spending every single moment possible with him; knowing there's not going to be anymore late night phone calls arguing about who loves who the most. And you know what? Today, tomorrow, next week, months from now your phone will go off with a text message, you will instantly grab your phone, hoping it's him saying he wants to give your relationship another shot. But trust me: he's got too much pride. Even if he wanted to get back together with you, he wouldn't tell you. You're soon going to realize he doesn't care about you anymore and he won't be the first person you call when you're upset. He won't be the one to put that smile back on your face. And yeah, it's going to hurt; it's going to hurt a lot but do you know what you're going to do? You're going to hold your head up. You're going to show him you're better than him and you don't need him in your life. You're going to prove to him that he made the biggest mistake of his life by letting you go and they you never really needed him anyways.

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