A Clumsy Girl's Guide to Teenage Life

An intricate look at the way a clumsy teenager functions in every day life. Yes that may include spots the size of watermelons, slowly oozing with yellow goodness. You see, boyfriends will always seem to be our world and homework an insignificant drag but yet we try ever so hard to carry on while we stumble from steps and slip on ice in front of an audience in the school playground. So is it good to be clumsy and will I ever be accepted?


1. The Party

A spot. Big fat yellow spot. Yes you guessed it, this means that I will spend ages trying to get ready for Amy's birthday party the next day and yet wake up to this amazing surprise. Yet no Clearasil or anything they advertise these days can ever help. So what did I decide to do? Find the nearest toothpaste and test out the oldest theory. Did it work? No. The seemingly yellow nature of my great spot decided to turn blue and no amount of any foundation could fix it.

Jumping into the nearest jeans, I did my daily dance of jean fitting. I was a slender size 8 when I was 15 and my biggest mistake was getting introduced to cake and slowly catapullting to a size 14. Still, they always say that if your confident you can pull any look off, however this was not the case for me.

Rumadging through my wardrobe, I found the perfect little green top that seemed to hide my tiny flab of stomach putting my mind at ease. It struck 6pm and panick ridden I dabbed the last bit of pink lipstick I had and rushed downstairs.

At every party, there is always a guy that you want to see and you try to look your best for. As always, I had this in mind while furiously packing a concealer and trying to dab it as much as I could on my blue spot while my mum was racing through the traffic.

Amy as always greeted me at the black huge door with her cool gang. It was almost something out of a Grease movie, everyone had their assigned friends, the ones with perfect make up and slim slender shapes and yet I looked like an alien.

They may have been my friends but a part of me always knew that as soon as my back was turned, gossip would prevail and their eyes would reflect some disappointed that they would be associated with me. But with my stubborn nature I insisted on hanging out with them, even if it meant that I would always have doubts.

Amy tilted her head back in joy lifting her perfectly white teeth and welcomed me into her house without a word.

Katerina, Victoria and Marina followed her briskly all giving me a sheepish smile.

Through the laminated floors and into the living room was a wooden table offering any sort of alcohol and the original ready salted crisp snacks and cocktail sausages in paper plates; as always drinking was seen as the first thing to do on the agenda.

Stomping around in my heels everyone seemed to notice me and turn back to their conversations as I walked to the sliding doors into the garden greeted by a gazebo, a DJ and fairy lights.

There he was, thick black hair those huge brown eyes just sparkling under the moon, why is it that every time you see someone you fancy, you seem him in slow motion turning and showing you the white sparkly teeth.

We all have that moment where your stomach turns upside down and you feel what you ate an hour before.

A nervous excitement that seems to last but not for long until he comes forward and brushes past your shoulder, making that all important feeling vanish.

"Yana, come to the dance floor, get your freak on!" screamed Max. As excited as I was, the feeling of bricks slowly falling on me as Mario walked away was enough to kill my evening.

Everyone seemed to have noticed I was in the house so feeling celebrity-like I took my first step down onto the stairs leading into the gazebo dance floor, smiling. Everything must have got a little much because the world seemed to go upside down and I found myself on the floor with people laughing their heads off around me.

My shoe was on the dance floor, but I wasn't. Bum, flat on the floor with my bum crack wanting to make an appearance through the tight jeans I shouldn't have worn. Yet the laughter continued. I had fallen from 3 concrete steps after 10 minutes at a party. Why did this happen to me?

Because I'm a clumsy teenager and this all seems to happen to me.





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