Dude: My Sexuality

-entry for the diary competition-

Luke, a teenage boy who's world is currently upside down, is faced with the challenge of accepting who he is. This challenge is made incredibly difficult for him when a bunch on teen lads torment him. Will Luke find the courage to accept who he was born to be?


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3. Clash of the Titans...

Howdy dude,

 Two days have passed and I am still writing in this diary, even if my entries barely cover a side of A5. What? I am a sixteen year old boy; you can’t expect me to dedicate my life to writing about my thoughts and feelings but today, I have something quite...emotional to tell you. I was the centre of yet another piss take...a serious, eye-blackening piss take. Some of the lads in my year sent me abusive texts about my, and I quote, ‘gay ways’. So what if I have more female friends than males? So what if I have a, to some extent, high voice? That reminds me; I had a text from an unknown number saying that I was a retarded version of Justin Bieber.

During first lesson, James, the football captain, threw a scrunched up piece of paper with a rather graphic drawing of a cock at my head. When I opened it and read the caption that said ‘gay boy’ I swallowed my urge to cause a scene and threw it aside. I carried on with the lesson like nothing had happened. I told myself repeatedly to ignore their comments. I told myself that I liked girls and that was the end of it. Nothing more to it but of course my day didn’t get any better.

After the final bell rang to alert us that the school day had ended, I was greeted at the front gate by James and his footballer crew. James laughed sourly when he saw me and grinned at his mates.

“Where are you going, gay boy? Ballet class?” a sinister snicker escaped from his lips as he approached me. He and his mates cornered me against a near wall. I clenched my teeth against each other as I realised wherever I go he and his followers will always be my shadow, the darkness that looms over me.

“Or is your mummy coming to pick you up?” Said Kyle, James’ best mate. “Tell her I said hey, would you?” he grinned and the rest of the group laughed. James roared with approval. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out he was alpha around here.

“Get out of my way, I need to go,” I rolled my eyes, clutched my shoulder bag to my chest and tried to shove past them. James was a lot stronger than me and pinned me against the wall. The cold surface of the bricks behind my skin made it impossible for me to escape, a constant reminder that I was trapped. It wouldn’t end pretty. His strong, muscular arm made it impossible for me to squirm free. My heart pounded; what would these...these terrorists do to me?

“Not so fast, pretty boy.” James’ words rolled off his tongue like venom from a snake. “There’s something I want you to do.” His mates laughed; did I miss the punch line? I didn’t find this funny.

“I want you to hit me,” he continued, rubbing his eye socket. “Right in the eye. Don’t be a coward, come on; hit me!” The last of his words were loud and aggressive. Threatening.

I shook my head once and swallowed. My courage had disintegrated along with my dignity. I couldn’t smart-talk my way out of this one. I was going to have to punch him. I was going to have to make it look convincing. It was the only way to get them off my back. I wasn’t gay. But no matter what I told them, they wouldn’t believe me. I wasn’t gay.

 “Hit me!” he hollered in my face. I swallowed again. My hands started to shake. I clenched my fists to hide my trembling fingers. Feeling the colour drain from my face, I took a deep breath. James eased his arm off me and stood back. Kyle laughed; he knew I wouldn’t do it. But I surprised even myself when I threw my fist into his face. I missed his eye by a mile and heard his jaw crunch – that’s what I get for keeping my eyes closed.

“You broke my jaw!” James exclaimed, almost surprised. Suddenly, his face turned to stone and I saw in his eyes that he’d become hungry for my blood.

I took a step back, forgetting that the wall was merely two feet behind me. Pressed up against the bricks, I closed my eyes and waited. When I was hit by the colossal impact of his fist, I fell to the ground. Him and his mates laughed narcissistically and walked away, leaving me in a heap on the floor. When I realised I’d never be able to prove myself to him, it hit me like a ton of bricks. My life was a hurricane but soon there’d be a rainbow.

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