Diary of, well ........

Diaries, every darn one of them only ever contains feeling, secrets,and life.
Phft, not this, in fact this is not even a diary, It is a blackmail journal, as I like to name this useless paper bound in a leather cover.
If you say "this has secrets written in it" then you are very wrong because I would be very happy to read out these secrets in public. In the end what do I have to loose I not the one who got myself into their situations, I merely just find them because their not good enough to keep their secrets secret enough...


3. 30th april 1864.


Boring Secrets 


Okay let us get all the boring (well to my likings) secrets out off the way.

1)Annoying cousin Dudley wears a wig (ha baldy).

2)Uncle Edwin is actually scared off the horse he bought for his son (little cousin John).

3)Aunt Bella makes her clothes that she claims to be made by a French designer (not surprised).

4)Cousin Courtney wishes to marry Charles Dickens (she is awfully weird).

5)P’pa and his old friend Carnal Quant were drunk the day P’pa got married (that is, probably why it is said he accidently said I don’t instead of I do. Good on you old man!).

6)Older cousin James is secretly jealous of Nicholas ( my brother, he should be jealous of me, but anyway I’m really not surprised he does have a squint nose. No offence).

7)Gran has fake teeth (this is not a secret but it still scares the living daylights out of me)

8)Cousin Julie is secretly engaged (big thing, who cares).

9)Little Tom is scared off me and still thinks I am a vampire even though he tries to act like the strongest 10 year old ever, and planes on slaying me when he is older (it was only a joke. That made him faint). 

10)And last but not least Uncle Isaac visits the opium den every so often without his wife Aunt Marie not knowing (sneaky old you Isaac).   


So there is the very first blackmails of many.

If you find out, some day in the newspapers, about the death of a handsome, young man, murdered by his younger cousin, on suspicion of being a Vampire you will know who it is.

Anyway these were just the boring ones although the best are yet to come. 

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