The Captivity Of Negativity

The Captivity of Negativity is a short story created with a help of a story card.
This is actually a school project that I really enjoyed doing.

The story is about a girl who was forced to return a huge favor by being a killer machine.

This is supposed to be a thriller/suspense story.

Hope you'll enjoy reading & would really love to get feedback.

Thank you!


1. A Short Story

The torches along Sta. Rita Island were just being lit, casting a soft pale glow across the damp sands on its shore. Slowly, it lent an eerie character to the chalets, and the palm trees as it moved into the embrace of the misty moonlight. A sharp, chilling wind blew across Maggie’s face.

“Do I really have to do we really have to do this again?” Maggie murmured as she looked down blankly to her bare feet feeling the cold of the ocean’s touch. “It’s our job Mags. If our boss said so, then we have to do it” the slender man, wearing a gray coat with a fur collar appeared right beside her. “But..i th-thought three days ago would be last. And then were gonna quit this freaking’ job! You promised!” Maggie shot at him angrily. Demetri shook his head “I thought so too, but  I got this message just this afternoon. It’s from Mr. Fairmont” Demetri reached for his left pocket and handed Maggie the letter. She snatched and ripped it open.


I have another assignment for you and Maggie. I know that it’s kind of a short notice considering that you just finished the recent task. I really feel bad ruining your vacation for this. The thing is, target is in the same island where you and Maggie are staying at the moment. Same rules applies. Finish this job quick then you’ll get your rewards. I attached the photos of your targets. Don’t let me down… KILL THEM ALL!

- Fairmont

“When he said ALL that means were not after one person here right?” Maggie asked, still looking at the parchment. Demetri nodded. “Hand me the pictures” Demetri reached for his pockets again. “Here you go”

As Maggie scans the picture thoughts suddenly runs through her mind “oh jeeeez…what would I do if someone asked me what you do for a living? Oh that’s simple madam, I kill people for a living” Maggie suddenly chuckled a little “and then they’re gonna run as fast as they can” she burst into laughter. Demetri snapped his fingers right in front of Maggie’s face. “What’s gotten into you?!” “Nothing! Nothing! Just some funny thoughts” Maggie explained. She continues to scan the pictures until she had it stocked on her head then handed the photos back to Demetri. “Should we do this tonight?” Maggie asked, looking to the moon’s reflection into the ocean. “If you want to, I already spotted these guys in one of those chalets right there” Demetri point his finger in one of the chalets behind Maggie. “What could these people have done to Mr. Fairmont…” Maggie shook her head. “No idea. Shall we?” “Can you do it without me? Please?” Maggie begged. Demetri took a deep breath and let it out gently, “Of course I can you idiot! But he isn’t gonna like this Mags, and you know it.” “I know! I know! … But I’m sick living like this! I’m sick of all this! Why not he kill them himself!” Maggie yelled. Nearly tears “Here we go again…” Demetri walked closer to Maggie to pat her head but Maggie backed away. “Let me ask you something Maggie, why… are you still… doing this if you don’t really want to do this…thing?” Maggie sighed “Because this is all I can do to repay his kindness to me. To be his slave, be his killer machine” Demetri looked puzzled. “You lost me there Mags. Put a little effort to what you are trying to say”

Maggie slowly walked towards one of the shacks and Demetri followed.

“It’s been 10years since I met Mr. Fairmont. I have no life back then. No social life, no money, family, job. I was an orphaned. Nuns said that they found me lying on the stairs of the Church of Blessed Sacrament.  I grew up at the orphanage until I was about 6 years old. Then the worst thing happened, we were sleeping in the middle of the night when we were awaken by the sound of the fire alarm. One of the orphans suddenly knocked off the desk candle & the fire immediately caught the bed sheets and not only that it caught me too…see this scar?” Maggie rubbed the ridges on the side of her face showing it to Demetri… “A week later I found myself wondering around the streets, no one wants me around. Then I remember the day when I met Mr.Fairmont. He was this tall…” Maggie stood up and lifts her right hand above her head showing Demetri how tall the man is. “He is sort of a pale-skinned man…his complexion is almost white as a paper! Anyway, he approached me and asked me if I wanted a job, just like that!” Maggie snapped her fingers then smiled “I immediately said yes with so much excitement on my face. The man offered me everything I need… everything I want! By then he is the one who I grew up with and who took care of me. I was so contented with my life until he spoke about the job he was telling me about." ...  "Maggie my dear, its time for you to repay what I’ve done for you"  Maggie shivers as she remembered the unspoken memories.

“From then on, he taught me how to hold a gun, how to shoot and worst… he taught me how to kill” Maggie wrapped her hands around her knees. Demetri still listening, took long drags of cigarettes and backed slightly away from Maggie. “In my own thoughts I know what I’m doing is wrong! …but… how can I not do what he wants me to do? He’s the one who fed me! Who dressed me! Everything! He is the one who made who I am today”

Maggie started crying, covering her face with both of her hands.

“I already talked to him about how I felt back then, that I don’t like killing people. It makes me sick! But he won’t listen to me. Instead, he will just say " Maggie,You’re blowing everything I trained you for, you’re blowing it! Is this the way how you thank me?! Not doing what I want?! I gave you everything you want didn’t I? I fed you, I dressed you! Now gave me what I want! And he will point his pistol on my head…” Maggie slowly lifted her face from both of her hands. It was blank, a face that Demetri never seen before.

“Blackmail, it’s quite diabolical if you ask me…it gets everyone” Demetri murmured. He sat beside Maggie and gave her a pat on her head. “I guess it will only be me tonight. Go to bed and have a sweet dreams” Demetri then, without any hesitations stood up and walked in the direction of the chalet that he pointed earlier to Maggie. “Thank you” Maggie whispered.

The multiple muted cracks of a pistol shots broke the air for an instant then all went into silence.

The sun was just sending its slanting rays over the few chalets rooftops into palm trees across the sandy shore. The smell of fresh eggs and coffee woke up Maggie’s sleep. She jumped out of bed and quickly looked for Demetri into the kitchen.

“Hmmm…smells good! What a good morning” Maggie said in a loud annoying tone. “How did it go last night?” Maggie just asked Demetri looking outside the window sipping his coffee. “Quite well, easy actually they’re all asleep when I got there, so it’s really not that hard to ki----” He stopped mid-sentence. “What’s wrong?” Maggie saw through the glass window what had put Demetri off. There and then, the pale-skinned man she was talking about last night is walking towards their chalet. “We’ve got a visitor” Demetri murmured.

Knock! Knock! Knock! Demetri then hurried to open the door to welcome their visitor.

“Good morning Mr. Fairmont! Surprised to see you here!” Demetri greeted. “Please come in. Maggie is still having her breakfast and we’d be delighted if you’re going to join us.” “My pleasure.” Mr. Fairmont replied. He followed Demetri to the kitchen and then he saw Maggie having her cup of coffee. “He-Hello Mr. Fairmont” Maggie greeted shaking “Ah! Just the right person I wanted to see! Demetri, here is your reward” Fairmont then handed a thick brown envelope to Demetri and he immediately accepted it. “Could you please leave me and my Maggie just for a few minutes? We have some issues to talk about” Fairmont said to Demetri without removing his eyes to Maggie’s direction.

Demetri hesitated but he has no choice but to leave the chalet at the moment, he looked to Maggie & nodded before he walk out of the kitchen door.

“What are you doing here Fairmont?” Maggie asked harshly. “My! My! My! Looks like you woke up at the wrong side of your bed today my dear Maggie…” he said in a loud voice. “I know what you didn’t do last night my dear” “How did you know?!” Maggie snarled. “You little brat! I’ve got my eyes on you every where you go!” Maggie stood from her chair and backed away from Fairmont. “You did it again! You disobeyed me again! Maggie, you’re blowing everything I trained you for, you’re blowing it! Is this the way how you thank me?! Not doing what I want?! I gave you everything you want didn’t I? I feed you, I dressed you! And what you did last night was unacceptable!” He walked closer to Maggie and hit her on her stomach. Maggie lost her balance and broke down on her knees. “I’m sorry! I told you I don’t want to do this any more! Please stop! You’re hurting me!”

Fairmont then suddenly points his pistol down to Maggie’s head. “That’s not only you’re gonna get if you didn’t do what I want! Get on your feet!” Fairmont grabbed Maggie’s left arm and forced her to stand up.

“Let’s have a game then my little Maggie…” Fairmont offered, still pointing his pistol on Maggie’s head. “I don’t like your games Sir, I don’t like it a bit.” Maggie replied, still having her difficulty to stand. “You shoot this gun one last time to the person I wanted you to shoot at then you’re free…free forever…” Fairmont said.

As the last two words of Fairmont echoes to Maggie’s ears, she felt the strength of her self again. Free forever… that’s what he said…no more killing…no more nightmares…Maggie thought to herself.

“What do you say Maggie?” Fairmont interrupted her thoughts. “As long as you keep that as a promise then that game is okay with me” Maggie replied. “HaHaHa! When did i break my promise my little Maggie?” his voice echoed to the entire chalet. “The game is on!” Fairmont then lowered his pistol and reached for his mobile.

Maggie still standing waiting for Fairmont’s order.

“Hello Demetri! You could come in now, Maggie is waiting for you…” then he ended the call. Maggie looked stunned trying to figure out Fairmont. “You wanted me to kill someone with Demetri?” Maggie asked with her voice shaking a bit. “Of course not my dear! … You're on your own this time, HAHAHA!”

Maggie’s face becomes so pale as if all of her emotions flushed down into the dumps. She just realized what Fairmont's last order is all about.

Fairmont’s laugh was cut off when he felt the slap of Maggie’s hand right on his face.

“Everything’s all right here?” Demetri interrupted Fairmont rubbed the swollen ridges of his face from Maggie’s slap “Ah! We’ve been waiting for you son!” Fairmont welcomed him back. “Do you need anything Mr.Fairmont?” Demetri innocently asked.

Fairmont then handed the pistol to Maggie and whispered "freedom my dear…freedom forever" Maggie then held the pistol tight.

She points the gun right into Demetri’s head, Maggie looking as if she was emotionless. Demetri realized what’s happening and this is far beyond his control. Maggie looked at Demetri. Life seemed to have already passed him without a shot being fired. Demetri then closed his eyes tight.

Again, the muted crack of a pistol broke the air for an instant then all went quiet.

Demetri opened his eyes and shocked to notice that he was still alive. Maggie was now kneeling beside Fairmont who is now lying lifelessly to the kitchen floor. Demetri slowly bent down to Maggie to remove the pistol from her hands.

“We shall leave his body here. We need to catch the ship at around 9 o’ clock” Demetri keeps talking… “Everything is gonna be alright Maggie, I’m still here for you. We have to go, we can’t miss the ship”

As the ship then slowly find its way out the port, Maggie happily looked back at Sta. Rita Island. The lit torches fade as the ship drifts farther away from the island.


“You know what Demetri, I just realized something” “And what is it Mags?” “That killing wasn’t so bad after all…” Maggie said with grin on her face.

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