The Feeling of Lost

Nothing of what I've written is real (Thank God)
This story suddenly appeared in my head, when I - for only a second - let my mind wander. This story is about loss, about consequenses and about possibilities - this story is about guilt and "if"s and other things people tell themselves when something like this happens. I hope you'll write a comment or something of the like, and I hope that this wouldn't be real for anyone, even though it sometimes is.


5. False spring


It was the window.

I don't even know what I was doing.

Maybe I was flying away with my thoughts.

Maybe I was thinking about my new crush.

Or the paper I had to hand in the very next day. Or maybe I was dreaming about shimmering blue eyes.

Or what excuse I should find for my parents.

Or maybe it was just that new change in the air.

A promise of spring.

Of green leaves.

The smell of blooming roses.



Maybe it was just that breeze on my neck.

I had opened the window.

To get near it, one had to climb up on a bed.

It was not a high bed.

A few feet.

I was so certain that no one would even try to climb up.

What would they use the bed for?

If they wanted to sleep, they could just slip in under the covers.

They could climb on their knees.

To collect the pillows.

They could do a million other things.

Yet I didn't.

Not even for a second,

did I imagine,

what happened next.

How could you?

It was just an open window.

Like any other day.

On any other day.

The same oxygen flowing in.

The same gasses.

Nothing different.

Just that lone person.

Not climbing up.



I had no idea.

But it tore me to pieces.

And broke him apart. 

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