My Experience Of Love


3. What Happened After The Murder?

I know what he had done didnt give me the right to take his life but i just couldnt let got of the anger and the sorrow that I felt. And the hardest thing was that i have to deal with is that instead of sending me to prison where I could rot and Suffer the crime that Had commttied, they sent me here. To this institue where there was even less colour than prison and everyone ispatronising to the crazy girl who lives in room 809. I know why they sent me here. Because I am to dangerous to go to prison and I am to messed up in the head to go anywhere else. I have nothing left. No faimyl, no money and most of all I no longer have the one thing that I live for because I murdered him.

I sometimes see him at night, I see him in the corner of my room: he says that its not my fault: that he forgives me; and he completely understands why I did it but I know that its a trick of the mind. That he would never forgive me for what I did but it sometimes comforts me to know that even though it isnt real there maybe a chance he still loves me, there maybe a chance that he can forgive me and I can move on. But deep down, somewhere inside me is begging him to get revenge and kill me so i dont have to do it for him, because that is the pont its getting to.

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