Is that you Santa Claus !? -The chronicles of Congo Bonaparte

what do you get if you cross a cockney Elf with a gangster bitch Father Christmas.. a Night that Congo would rather forget

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2. Everybody wearing them kinky BOOTS

"Relax. Keep your grundies on am no Tea Leaf"  Dildoporn stated placing his slender hands in the air.

"Look we dont have much time, if we stay here any longer we will both end up Brown Bread!

 

"What eaten !?! "

 

Congo Cockney rhyming slang knowledge, putting it nicely was shit. He didn't know his China plate* from his Boat Race**  ( * Mate ** Face)

 

"No .You Sty. Dead. ", Dildoporn screeched with urgency

"Wait wait you said we. I dont know you! Get out my house!"

 

"Listen the Boss is gonna be here any second and the Boss is not happy with me. The Boss's partner on the other is hee hee!"

Dildoporn crackled with a twinkle in his ever green eye.

 

"You smashed your boss's Wife... sound, but once again what the hell does that have to do with you being in my house get out!"

 

"Wife !? " Dildoporn interjected  "...No I smashed.."

 

"Dildoporn.. I know you're in there. Open the door." Growled an equally cockney sounding accent. Dildoporn braced himself and rushed to the door, slamming his tiny figure on the 6ft 3 wooden frame!

 

"Help! I cant hold the door on my own" Dildoporn cried out looking at Congo for support.

 

"What is going on! Its things like this that make me dislike people.. and Elves. "

Congo ran to the door and attempted to remove Dildoporn from the door. It had only been repainted two weeks ago and this Elf was leaving marks.

 

"Stop stop the Boss will kill us both" - Dilioporn pleaded.

"You bring arms house to my mums house... ahhh my house." Saying that Congo turned to face the door.

 

At that exact moment a Black shiny boot kicked through the door throwing Congo up into the air and straight into wall! Dazed, Congo could make out Dildoporn shout;

 

" We are going to die"

 

"Why do you keep on saying Us!?" coughed Congo trying to gain his breath back.

 

Pain engulfed Congo as he tried to stand up. He remained on all fours, getting up could be done after he got the wind back into his lungs .Directly in front of him he could see two black shiny boots.

 

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